Saturday, July 20, 2024

another dream again

Wow, I had another dream again.  3:46am July 16, 2024 and I’m talking to the my iPhone in the dark, knowing this AI technology, apps and equipment have caught up to me enough to catch all that I need to record and share with you now. . . “The gospel of the Lord, Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ,”TheJoyFM.com singing His words now!

It was wicked powerful of course, as I fell in love again. I was in school again, on my bike, racing around my old playground. It was so funny because I knew where the secret doors were, and all the passageways and all the back entrances and they were still there. Everything was still there. It was like the twilight zone, a Completely New World again, and it was so intense since I knew it all already, been there, done that. At Home again in the same place, in Peace and Joy.

3:48 AM  It was so wicked cool to suddenly be excited in the physical Radical Love of a pretty lady! We were racing home on our bikes, and of course the lady that I’m with, is in skin tight bike cloths of pink and purple. I knew I had ridden past her house before, I went through her neighborhood that same morning, and I knew there was something in there, but I didn’t know what it was. I had to get to school and so I went by it and got to school quick wondering what I felt or saw as I passed. And Riding home together and she takes the turn to go down into her neighborhood and I was like, oh shit, I knew there was something there for me that is, and she’s like don’t worry about it. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” And I see her smile as this divine form turns away, and I find my body all excited again in Radical Love.

I had to go a different direction to get to my neighborhood, and it was another blessing, because I knew where I was, and I knew who she was, and I knew where I was going. She knew who I was. It was like old friends, who just met again. The whole day was like, that so it was like my first day in school again, and as I woke up I’m ready to buy a beer but I’m on the wrong line, because I’m at the old line that I remember and needed to be in the new line as things have changed. I’ve been there before and I knew where everything was, or I thought I knew where everything was . . . Same place, Same lines, but things have shifted over time.

It was so funny, as this guy walks up to me and he’s like, “oh yeah you need this over here instead.” Like how did he know? And the whole day was so funny, because the people that I was meeting were relatives, like people I had known all my life or had known at different times and had experienced different things with. The whole experience was a procession of De-ja-vu. I realized that’s all I’m gonna be doing the rest of my life, stepping into places where I’ve already done it, and everybody I know is already there.

And of course, I know that that’s been my experience before. Like talking to this iPhone now and knowing that I’m sharing something that’s priceless, because that’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always done knowing this frequency vibrates throughout the whole universe. Nobody ever understood me and nobody will ever understand me without direct personal time in resonance and experience. So it’s like that very first spark all over again. The Very First Spark to hit Earth, and we were in it all together. We all decided it all together. We all want to do just this One Thing I’m in the middle of now. It’s still gonna work just as we planned it. I’ve said that a million times in my life. I’m gonna have so much editing to do with this iPhone gibberish, as usual. That happens when I scribble too, where I ask for things and intend things, but the printed words still need serious editing.

It is so funny after this guy bought me this beer in another line, I realized he was my Brother. My dear sweet bother watching over me, who I never knew before. We were in lines at the cafeteria and the second line he was in was where the keg was. So I was at the cash register ready to buy, and he is next to me in the next line over and stops me. “You need to come over here, let me show you, give me that.” And he was taking my supplies and paying for things setting it in with his own. I’m watching him and get embarrassed as the two cashiers are helping him along with people behind him in the line.  I pull out my wallet, this thin flimsy brown leather wallet. Nothing in it but two crusty old five dollar bills. The pale green against the untouched brown leather suede inside looked really pathetic.  He essentially ignored me, “I got this, no worries.”

And then I realized how behind him were the twins, other brothers who I knew. And it was like four of us, then started out from the line with me leading them, trying to help knowing we could sit together at this table under a big beautiful old oak tree right around the corner. Yes, we got lunch and I was in the wrong line and then he ends up buying me everything, and by the time he’s done that, there are four of us together. We wanna go sit outside and I know about this back door right around the corner. And they were just laughing because nobody’s supposed to know there’s a door there and it’s like the new guy is leading them to sneak around the back. It was really weird because the door was in the short little hallway, so I was up against it as the others were just turning down the hallway my way. And it’s hidden, like sealed up in white paper and cheap old plaster, that I brushed away in a second. 

Then I see they’re doing all this military training or something out back.  The perfect pretty old oak tree, was punished over to one side. The back door where we were outside and they were testing some equipment or something like that.  Nobody wanted anyone to see us going out the back door so they were trying to make sure that nobody saw me opening the back door.  Every time they started heading my way somebody else would see us and they’d have to turn in and do something different so they always ended up playing around with somebody before they got to the back door. One of them went around to the front and found out how to get to it from the front, it was like, hey you know I’m over here. 

It was funny seeing him wave at me and I was like; “oh you got to the Front.” And he was like yeah we can get in from the front way too. It’s just so funny because it was like me back in the UC (University Center) back in that old campus community center we called the UC, a university center where all the students organizations met, and all the ROTC, and other stuff. Everything happened right there of course, that’s where they sell the beer, that’s where they sell the food, that’s where they sell school stuff, and the campus restaurant is there too.

It’s funny because when I was going home, I was following the road that I know as I ride my bike down this road many times and I knew that there was a trail through the woods at the end. And of course you know somebody was there, like just another pedestrian passing by, and he knew where I was going. Yeah, there’s a way through, but when I got to the end of the trail and there was all this concrete and the path was all blocked off and he came down to show me there was a hatch. 

Yes, once again the old path was still there as I remembered, but there was a doorway through it. It was incredible to see so much detail. I’m certain it was so specific for a reason. It was so funny because he saw me biking up and showed me the way through, like he knew me too. I went back home and he lived just around the corner or something and just recognized it all, but I was gonna be lost even if I’ve been there before because I didn’t exactly know how things had changed. And it was so remarkable because he led me in and opened-up the hatch and I went through. It was like this little room that you could put on a suit or uniform on or something to get through to the next section.  

Whatever it was, I don’t know, it was like weird and then someone else popped in and I was like oh OK? And he put on this uniform, when he did whatever he was supposed to do, and he went on and I was like; “oh get it, I just saw it” and it was just so common and anyone could do it. I mean it’s just so funny to have this clear specific dream that is so real and you know you get all the colors as you get all the details (wow, some red uniform . . . lol…).  I got to duck under this edge through the hatch you know, and it was all just such a trip to experience. It was so funny because it was a little Chinese kid and he didn’t know exactly where he had to go or exactly what to do when he got there. But there was somebody waiting with money and direction on the other side already, and I was like, oh OK. I gotta do this too, just like the first time the guy was laughing at me on the line in the cafeteria. 

You know it was just such a fast powerful dream and as I stopped to think now recording it, because you know whenever I have a dream that’s so powerful like this, I try to get as much detail written down as I can.  I mean I’ve had some whoppers that changed lives that I only discovered decades later: http://www.starsusa.org/homestead/files/Dreams.htm I don’t know about you, but you know when you only remember little fragments, and you write it out, then you start to remember more little details. And as you write more, you know more and remember, like I kept going back to the cash register at the very beginning, and it wasn’t really a cash register. Something more automatic and digital I’m sure, instead of the cash register I remember from an earlier time I was there. It was just like a funny aspect because I remembered the room. I remember the person there and I remember asking her for what I wanted. She just laughed because she could tell I was in the wrong place looking for the wrong thing, and that was that. 

It was my first time there and she was laughing at me because she was like, oh that was here 1000 years ago. You need something else now, and it was just like she already knew my challenges. And then I saw my buddy, whomever from wherever, that was there in the next line and knew me ready. “Oh you need to come over here” and he’s already on the next line helping me over just like she said. So he’s like, you know these people behind me, whatever it was and they’re like you know you need to get in front of us and I was like yeah of course I’m coming over to go along with them . . . 

Friday, July 12, 2024

seemed kind of weird that talking

After my last post, I commented on it about the tears that jumped out at me. In 2008 or so, Kimberly taught me how to cry again. I didn’t realize how significant that was until I was watching The Chosen this week. Yes, I watched from season two through to four. I noticed that whenever there was a piece where the words came right out of the Bible, it put me into tears.

Yes, my body would naturally break down into tears when I heard versus directly from the Bible. Of course, the whole series put The Bible into the context that I’ve never experienced before, but to have that intimate connection with the actual Words was incredible.

I Recognized this deeper connection, that I never understood before. I’m not sure if I understand it yet. But I certainly understand there’s a very deep intimacy between me and Jesus.

I never realized that it was something so special. Or I guess I never realized exactly who I shared my space with. I’ve always been in the same place.  And I’ve always known I was sharing, But I’m getting deeper and stronger realizations all the time.

I also recognize that there’s some level of responsibility and accepting some ability.  Which I know includes the writing and editing that I seem to do daily now. I’ve always known I could make things happen, and understanding what that means and why it Is something new?

As weird as it seems, last week I met Paster John for breakfast again. His YouTube videos are in the hundreds now,I since Covid and our first conversation over breakfast. I told him he needed to expand it now and start blogging or linking the videos to more of the written work he’s done. He clearly loved the idea and began explaining many pages of research and details he’s developed teaching Bible parables and other scenarios over his 30 years of preaching.

As weird as it sounds, he even started in Smithtown Long Island, where my cousins live. Of course, then I told him of other videos and preachers that I’ve recorded over the years too. I’ve got hundreds of hours of video that I’ve not even posted yet. I told him my first journal page was dated 1977 and publishing with advertisements and marketing was something I needed to start doing. Helping him with these things I’ve already done seemed great for both of us.

Last night, I had this powerful dream of being with somebody again. Yes, An intimate relationship with another woman. I was scheduled to go see Cathy today so I’m sure that’s what inspired it. What was weird about it was that I had been watching The Chosen all week so it was like I had been there with Mary or Martha who are Lazarus sisters in The Chosen, that look like Kathy and Marianne. Of course, having a Fat Ram again, wouldn’t surprise me at all. But to see this so vividly like being there in The Chosen was kinda weird. Uhg, I noticed I always say “weird” and it’s really “Incredible” or “Wonderful,” and it’s just happens so much I felt weird saying wonderful, super, great, and such all the time. . .  lol. . .  Yes, I’m literally “laughing out loud” to myself. 

I was so happy to see Cathy today, and we talked about how she’s finally retired and was cleaning things out getting ready to move on. I told her I was surprised we hadn’t gotten married because she was so wonderful with my children. She didn’t want to talk about my kids. I told her how all the pictures I had of the awesome experiences we had were pictures that she took… Cathy just laughed. She never knew my mother, but she wanted to take me to the Latin Mass. Evidently, the pope in Rome wants to prevent Latin mass at Catholic churches, and there’s only a few places that still do it. 

As incredible as it was, the place she took me to, to watch the Latin mass was within a mile of my old house in Seminole Heights, where we had raised my kids and lived for over 30 years.  She is still struggling to clear her karma and get healthy and strong, but told me talking about the children was reliving the past, that was done and gone now. That seemed kind of weird that talking about something wonderful and joyful wasn’t as important as resolving pains and suffering still trapped inside of her…. Yeah, that seems totally backwards to me!

We had breakfast and she told me about another church filled with over 700 Saint artifacts or “relics”… Course I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded neat so we went to see that too. .


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following Jesus on His terms

I love my routine that I started with Exodus 90 and the Catholic Church. I actually started with going to different services, but now I have some real habits starting every morning with the Exodus readings and these podcasts is awesome.

Let us remember that we are in the holy presence of God. Follow him in truth today. Take one minute of silencenow, praying for God’s blessing on you, your family, fraternity, and all Exodus Men.

Today on Exodus Judas shows us at least three ways in which we can make the mistake of fallowing a snake instead of Jesus.

First, by picking and choosing what we believe. Judas was following Jesus on his own terms. Judas did not trust in Jesus and his authority but instead considered his own opinions, and perhaps his feelings, as the measure of truth.

Second, by bringing about change according to our own plans and ideas instead of God’s. Some have speculated that Judas betrayed Jesus because he had a different view of what the Messiah was supposed to be. In other words, he believed Jesus was the Messiah but that his teachings were not what the people needed, so he accepted only what aligned with the plan he tried to force by his own hand. If we do not first let our minds and hearts be formed by God’s revelation, we are doomed to do the devil’s work.

Third, by seeking ourselves instead of God. St. John tells us that Judas, who kept the disciples’ money box, was a “thief” (John 12:6). Judas was seeking his own benefit even as he followed God. The root of the problem is that we are often ignorant of God’s Word and the Church’s teaching as it has been handed down to us. But also that we do not have an interior life. Without a life of prayer, our hearts and minds remain trapped in a worldly view based on the snake.

This is so powerful, and I know God only sends me Angels, and sometimes no one understands, except if they listen and worship in Spirit and Truth! lol, or do like Judas selectively reading, selectively listening, selectively choosing what’s easy to accept. 

The next morning podcast that came through began with Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me.” He- he’s not saying you’re going to seek me and I’m going to hide from you. When you seek me, you’re going to find me when you seek me with ALL your whole heart. 

Like Romans chapter 1, where it says that God has made within the heart of every man the desire to know Him. And it doesn’t matter how you were raised or what culture you’re from or what you were taught to believe. When our heart is being crushed, we know intuitively to turn to the One who made that heart, because we know, somehow, through the power of His spirit, that He’s the only One Who can heal it and redeem it . . . Beyond fear, beyond pain, beyond karma and the snake.

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/pursuing-our-untamable-god-part-1-of-2/ Romans 10:13 that says, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Everyone. A few verses higher it says that salvation is as near as your lips and your heart, and “if you profess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that He’s God, you will be saved.”

God is always painting a masterpiece, as referred to in Ephesians 2:10. And when we don’t like the current picture, all it means, and my wise sister tells me this, all it means is that, Kim, he’s not done yet. And so, in practicing pray, listen, do, I was working on a project. “Lord, I need frames. Where would you like me to go?” I’m just asking Him in. I’ve lived so much of my life on autopilot. “I know how to do this. I know how to do that. I know how to run this ranch and go grocery shopping, get fuel, buy coffee. Oh, but God, here is a spiritual part. I better ask You. I better pray.”

If you want to know the simplicity of the wild love and redemption of our God, it really is as simple as we pray, and we listen, and we do, and we just follow His spirit where His spirit wants to go. Jesus said Himself in John 4:23 and 24 that God is spirit. He’s looking for anybody, anybody who will worship Him in spirit and in truth!

feel the fire of the presence of the living God descending on them. “Don’t you know I love you? You’re My son. You’re My daughter. And if you were the only one, I’m coming for you, and I’m here right now reaching for you, My beloved. Will you reach back and take Me by the hand? I’ve got you. I’ve got you. And you are gonna make it. Will you call on My name and invite Me into your heart and your life to lead you through this time? I’ve got a plan. I’ve got a purpose, and it’s good because I am good. Can you feel My arms around you now? I love you so much. Let’s walk out these days together. And I will show you, side by side, My goodness and My wild love for you, My beloved.” Thank You, Jesus. Thank You that Your redemptive love knows no boundaries of men. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/pursuing-our-untamable-god-part-2-of-2/

Jesus Himself says, “My greatest commandment is to love God first and love each other and then share that love. That’s my greatest commandment.” He said it all through the gospels over and over and over. How can we cherry-pick around that? And I think that He calls us to come to Him as a child, in childlike faith.

Senseless pain only happens on this side of Heaven. Before our God, every pain has sense. He doesn’t ask us to understand the why. He only asks us to trust Him for it. And in the aftermath of that night, as I waved at her and her tail lights went down the driveway, the Lord allowed me to see His perspective, that my tragedy was needed to stop her tragedy. This is the wild perspective of our God. “I’m your light in the tunnel with you. Beloved, walk with me. I’ve got this. There’s always been a plan. Trust me for it.”

TRUST GOD FOR THE WILD OUTCOME!

Help me to pursue you!

Of course then I heard https://www.intouch.org/listen/ more more more insight into the Deep Truth of God and Love. Beyond the lies of the snake filled with deceptions. Living in the Will of God: https://www.intouch.org/listen/radio/when-plans-turn-to-ashes-part-1 

This started with Luke 15:11-24 God will allow you to get stuff, and acquire things beyond His Will. This is Gods Gift for you to Choose, a freedom that was given to us. YOU CHOOSE LOVE then it is real and valid. God gave us all a choice! Even if He knows you will make a wrong choice . . . You can have it now, no need to be patient and wait for God. All consequences are based on God, not man and not our interpretations. Satan is everything away from God . . . Fast easy is satan’s lies, that all turn into dust. 

Oh course then I heard more about God on theJoyFm.com where David Reads Psalm 31: in you oh Lord I put my trust… 


https://florida.thejoyfm.com/morning-cruise/home/2024/07/12/psalm-31-morning-devotion/

Psalm 8 what is man, that God is mindful of us… we are His Image, His children . . . Everything leading us into a fuller, truer, more real relationship and love with Jesus Christ!  

There is nothing else needed or required, just Love!


Thursday, June 27, 2024

guiding me to do more every day.

 guiding me to do more every day.

10:51pm Tuesday 6/25/2024
Last night at the welcome meeting, we were talking about the scripture that Dan had prepared for us. It was a story of Jairus, asking to have his daughter healed, and then the woman who touched Jesus cloak and was healed in the crowds as they walked to Jairus’s Home.

I commented how wonderful it was to have this Bible verse review after watching the chosen (I still always cry seeing this scene). I mentioned how I was raised Methodist and had gone to countless classes and lectures, but the Bible never meant anything to me at all. But now to see and hear about these passages again, now they were so clear from The Chosen. They become so much more real, and viable for us.

It’s wonderful to share and talk about this with the men in our group. Everyone agreed and understood. Then this morning when I woke up doing the Exodus AP, and turned on the JoyFM. I listened to the Family Focus and then Charles Stanley doing my morning exercises. I was getting ready to leave to get to the men’s fraternity. Then I stopped to listen to the morning prayer at JoyFM, and Bill started speaking about watching the last episode of The Chosen.


He said how it ended with Lazarus and Jesus talking about the Old Testament, where Isaiah prophesied about Jesus, his death and suffering. Lazarus said that it was so powerful for him now because the words on the paper didn’t really mean anything, while Jesus sitting now before him was his friend (Isaiah:53).

It was really wonderful to have that experience of hearing that as I was biking to the men’s group. I remember biking home the night before, thinking I was just going to sleep and get up in the morning to bike back again. I realized how wonderful it was to have Jesus as my priority now. I really understood this and accepted it.

I realized I always sort of listen to Jesus, I never really knew what it was all about. But it was always very real for me to hear the voices, and understand the direction I was getting all the time. So after the rosary when the men’s group got together it was my turn to talk about my week.

I realize that week my spiritual director had confronted me about priorities and how getting a job was important. I really wasn’t concerned about it, as Jesus always provided for me. Of course, that same afternoon that I was confronted about a job, I got a call about a job with St Pete College. But the truth is Jesus is my priority taking my time to write now and share the truth of what Jesus does for me. 

I remember again when Christopher moved to Boston to get another degree. Kim and I took them to dinner at the Front Porch and we were just chatting and reminiscing about our times together. Then Kim told them about the new roof. She decided to buy the house from me and her mortgage company asked for a new roof.  It was Friday a week before the closing and I ran into a handyman next door fixing something for a neighbor. I just saw the truck and his tools as he was leaving and I asked him if he ever replaced a roof. He said no, but he had a buddy who did. The next day they visited and started replacing the roof. I agreed to five thousand for the new roof, but then had to run to Home Depot when they wanted to replace some boards.

Anyway, Kim was totally perplexed sharing this story. Who in their right mind waits until the last week to find a new roof? And then recruits a random stranger in the street. No quotes, no references, nothing but trusting divine providence. And then beyond all understanding, the roof was replaced that very weekend. Literally started on the next day. And I even got my homeowners insurance to pay for it, since the roof was leaking anyway. So then Kim closed on the sale Wednesday. . . But what it was all about is the life, that I’ve lived. . . Or always just lived, never really noticing that I did anything different from anyone else. 

I said to my Spiritual Director it’s much like I played basketball all my life and now with the Catholic Church I’m learning all the rules. Yes, it’s always been a relationship with Jesus. Like getting my truck fixed and knowing I have to get online and fix this writing that I started. Yes, Jesus asks me to write all the time. I need to record this experience I share with Him.

It’s always a challenge to write and think about what He does. But I’m always listening and trying to do whatever He wants me to do. I guess, He really wants me to take care of my house that He’s given me now. I’ve tried to do so many things around here that I can’t seem to get things done. Every day He is asking me to do more. Take care of the garden. Take care of the kitchen, take care of the pantry. and “Don’t forget to eat a real meal.” . . . . lol, yes and none of the processed crap . . . 

I know, more and more of our food system is getting corrupted and destroyed. I also know I’m gonna be feeding people more and more myself. It’s really something He’s told me about for a long time. Sometimes I kinda understand and sometimes I don’t. But I guess now again, I’m learning and growing. Like the experience with Kim and Christopher at the Front Porch, I never even noticed what happened, but just flowed through the experiences as I was Given, taking my place and responsibility, and TRUSTING IN FAITH! Kim really opened my eyes to so much, saying how I did that sort of things all the time. . . Which I’m still not sure I understand.

Thank you so so much Jesus for sharing this time with me. Thank you for this wonderful life, that You’ve given to me. Thank You for leading and guiding me to do more every day. I know You will always provide for me. I know that I’m always safe. I know You’re on Your way back. Please help me to be ready and listen and follow all You ask. For the glory, of Father Son and Holy Ghost, amen. 

6:54am Wednesday June 26th, 2024

As I got downstairs to start putting new shelves in my pantry. I brought my iPad and iPhone with me because I knew I had to edit this blog post and add links in. Yes, i couldn’t sleep without writing, and i just turned on my iPhone and spoke into it. . . Lol. . . “Period, new-line, new-line. . . “ So i knew it was full of errors. . . Oh, and adding links, as there is something about the real places and real experiences that makes reading this so much more real for people. . . Yeay, whatever!

So I got downstairs and plugged in my iPhone and turned on the radio again. . . And this song came on OUTLINING my Priorities AGAIN! . . . Lol, or my life story . . . 

The story of me was a story of shameWrong turns written on every pageSo many parts that were so messed upBut I love the part where You showed upRewriting my past, rewriting my hurtLine by line, word by wordAnd now my story is livin' proofThere's not a chapter that you can't use
My story, Your gloryMy pain, Your purposeMy mess, Your messageIn all things, I know You're workin'One life, one missionOne reason why I'm livin'All for You, not for meMy story, Your glory
Now the story of me is a story of graceFingerprints of mercy on every pageNo more ashamed of the path I tookYou set me free to be an open bookIf even my scars are part of Your planTake all of my heart, Lord, here I amMy only cause 'til You call me homeIs knowin' You more and makin' You known
My story, Your gloryMy pain, Your purposeMy mess, Your messageIn all things, I know You're workin'One life, one missionOne reason why I'm livin'All for You, not for meMy story, Your glory
All of me, all for YouLet all I say and all I doPoint to the one who changed my lifeAnd let me speak the legacy I leave behind
My story, Your gloryMy pain, Your purposeMy mess, Your messageIn all things, I know You're workin'One life, one missionOne reason why I'm livin'All for You, not for meMy story, Your glory

Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, , , , yes it looked this song up on my iPhone and “cut and pasted” from the iPhone to the IPad. . . . Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ You are the COOLEST!  Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to Achieve Your Glory. . . Amen.

Opposition added these links above . . . . Evidently it distracts you from the priority of the two links already there . . . . So again asking for the “word” Jesus in the voice in my head, so I’m sure I’m following directions, and move all the extra links here to find as needed. . .  
doing the Exodus AP, and turned on the JoyFM. I listened to the Family Focus and then Charles Stanley . -

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Friday, June 21, 2024

how I felt it was a done deal

What a wonderful life!

I’m always invited to the coolest things. Thankfully I’ve been in this class here in the Atrium at church where they are teaching people how to direct children to Jesus. It really seems so preposterous, since young children already know Jesus, and are really struggling to get into our world separated from Jesus by birth. I realize I kept Emily in Jesus by always asking her instead of telling her. . . And was so fascinated to learn what they did.

I’m never sure what I’m doing or what is next for me in this incredible blessing. I’m always perplexed by this. Like yesterday I was literally embarrassed when Dick asked about my to-do list wanting to know my priorities. He was very clear and focused on how “getting a job” and making some income was a critical top priority for our lives.

The one priority I’ve all but ignored all week. Then halfway through the day I got a call about coming in for an interview with St Pete College. It was kinda a surprise for me! I told Dick how I’d asked Richard for a recommendation at USF, and then the same day I got a note from HR that I was still listed for the job there.

I was just real about what happened and how I felt it was a done deal at USF. Dick said “hopes” don’t work with the business world, but numbers. I’ve always been provided for, and I guess I’ve seen this all my life, or more so, recognize it’s really “my life” to be provided for; and I shouldn’t question or anything, since it’s really just been so consistent.

I remember Kim’s story about the roof contractor who showed up the weekend before we closed, where the roof was required for closing, and I hadn’t even looked at it. Course, now I’m fumbling through all this technology wondering how I can get what I need done? It’s just not working for me. Like now I’m punching the tiny keys on my iPhone to get these words out, feeling this blog is my number one priority as well.

Once again it just seems so bizarre and astonishing to consider that my world and life is spinning around such trivia.

Yes we know Journalling for Jesus is really not trivia and really not something I even understand most of the time but I know it’s something I have to do and it never stops but grows more all the time!

Friday, June 14, 2024

that’s why you bring me here to write

OK, so I joined the ladies group, every Thursday I go to their class at Lisette’s house. Second or third class she said something about needing help with mass. I said I could help with anything but reading. So she offered to give me the training the next Tuesday after the men’s group.

I’ve done the service with mass now, four times. I guess the first was Thursday, with Father Kevin. And then Sunday with him again and Thursday again with Father Jonathan. Father Curtis sent me some Diocese classes to take regarding child, safety, and suicide prevention. I have no Wi-Fi at home so I’ve been in a coffee shop doing these the last couple days. I’m supposed to get fingerprinted, but I haven’t been able to get that done yet.

So last week, Todd mentioned in the men’s group that Mike’s wife Jesse was teaching a class. I knew Jesse runs the atrium for the church so I thought it might be related. I asked her about it as soon as I could and she sent me the details saying I needed to discus it with Father Curtis.

Course I have scheduled to see him today at 9am. And then Kevin will be here this morning for breakfast so I woke up really early. I have a big mess downstairs as I’ve been cleaning out my pantry. I had all these big heavy appliances on the top shelves, which was really stupid, so I’ve been cleaning it all out.

Then I finished the classes Fr Curtis gave me and started on the stuff from Jessie yesterday and it all hit me, that’s all I’ve ever done. 

Yes? Child safety, suicide, sex and such was all the things I survived to prepare for my own kids who walked into it all intentionally. Then my kids were raised in Jesus like the Atrium programs talks about. So it’s all stuff I’ve done and seen already!

So it’s more intimidating than ever. I’m so lucky I can talk about it with Kevin before I see Fr. Curtis. But still what am I gonna say, what am I gonna do?

Of course that’s why you bring me here to write!

Wednesday, June 12, 2024

making progress on so much

2:44 Mon Jun 10, 2023

I get so very annoyed with this technology crap, I wish I could just scribble on paper again…. But all the scanners are not quick enough, nor do I ever stay in the same place long and stable enough for it to get out like you need.

This never works consistently. I'm always having to edit and revise this.  If it’s going to use AI, then it needs to get better faster, and stop reverting to dead crap we have fixed before. I have been happy with using chrome to blog in blogger. But I've not been able to keep a live link very long, so it really gets so frustrating.

Dear Jesus, if you get me up in the middle of the night to write, then you have to make these annoying tools more effective, and consistent. Yes, I know I can talk to it as well. But that can be so annoying too, because it shifts my experience. When I type, I’m always hitting the wrong keys anyways, and sometimes it corrects and sometimes it doesn’t. So that’s wicked annoying too, especially when I reread and see stupid errors like “connects,” instead of “corrects” here above. But then when I hand write, it only gets so many words correctly, and then there’s something missing or wrong that it takes 20 minutes to fix. This voice activated stuff works pretty good sometimes, but I also need to be able to just keep talking. It keeps sticking these periods in the middle of the sentences, but then they disappear. I hate having to say that word all the time, “period,” yes i said “period,” keep the fucken dot there please. And if I pause, and then continue talking, shouldn’t it make the period into a coma instead so I can complete the thought. 

. . . . This voice activated stuff works pretty good sometimes but I also need to be able to just keep talking. Keep sticking these periods in the middle of the sentences but then they disappear. I hate having to say that word all the time… I guess I just need to practice more , I guess I just need to practice more . . . . Now why did it put in the same phrase in twice, I have no idea. Yes the stupid app put the same phrase in twice, and I’m not deleting it now. I guess maybe I say duplicate and it comes out again. I’m sure there’s a Help video somewhere, but then I have to find it. Of course, there’s no Wi-Fi, so I couldn’t download it even if I did find it. 

Call Ken Steinke be writing about

So I guess what I need to be writing about. 

I said the same words twice there, the top line with ‘kin’ was what it came out with! Which totally disgusts me. Like Steve Jobs is rolling over in his grave to hide, disgusted and appalled that the AI-Bots we created to get more data out quicker, are now working more to confuse the data and misprint, misguide, misdirect all those that follow each keystroke. It’s really pathetic that it’s come this far, and it is only gettin worse now as we get to the finish line. Yes, I just wrote this all into a feedback report to apple, and I’m trying to link both the watches and video clips and everything. 

Yes, I’m still annoyed, as it’s like pulling teeth to ever get real feedback to them, and forget about any replies, they have no clue what we’re doing anyway . . . . even though we’ve been consistent and progressing strong since 1982. . . Oh before that? Wow.w.w.w.w

4:00:00am. Yesterday was totally incredible.

I got up at five as usual. Started with the Exodus app and went downstairs to get a cuppa coffee. Did the 12 sit-ups, 12 push-ups, 12-20pound lift squats, 12-10pound on the arm out, 12-10 little curls, and then 12-10 up over my head. Listened to the Exodus twice, and then started Pastor John’s sermon. I grabbed my Mangrove-tool, Strapped it to my bike, grab my helmet and took off.

Riding to the beach at North Shore and I picked up a big palm branch in the road. And I took it down to the one old mangrove that I had tried to save. By the time I got to the park, I had picked up a few other branches to add to my palm branch. When I got to the mangrove and it had been killed. No concrete bricks around as if somebody has been down there to big foot prints, yes smashing in the poor little mangrove.

I was all but crying when I saw it and know it was the same big boots that had smashed my other mangroves.  So I swam and didn’t really plant or do anything. All the branches I collected I put there next to the group of trees that’s still surviving. I wonder if they are trying to wipe out all those too. Of course the one bunch up at 26th Ave N are going really great.

So I swam and the road over to mass. Of course when I got there I had forgotten about the time completely, and heard the bells ringing as I plugged in my bike. Opps I’m supposed to be dressed and ready to serve when the bells ring. 

I ran over to the front of the church and Father Jonathan was there ready to do the mass. Cool, so I told him I’d get the cross and be with him in a second. He really had no idea what I was talking about. I told him how awesome it was to get back into my regular mass, swim, bike and exercise routines as I had before Exodus. . . And then ran off to get ready.

I was fumbling with my leather sandals and finally just kicked them off knowing Fr. Jonathan could care less. But they told me to get them anyway, so I ran back to get them. Now they didn’t like me running around. But as usual I was all excited like a little kid, trying to get things together to work right. They had three kids there helping anyway, so I really wasn’t needed, but we had planned for me to be there so I made sure I was there.

When it was all done, I was so embarrassed I ran out as quickly as I could. I thought for sure I’d be fired again. I did get a email from Father Curtis, but that was about background checks and all. Oh great, that will get me kicked-out too. Then Mary wanted me to come see her Tuesday as well, so she could go over all the things I did wrong and that they were still keeping me on the schedule to help.

8:23 Wed Jun 12

Today, I found out Apple finally is releasing IOS 18 which will include all kinds of AI features built into Siri.  I got another 20TB hard drive so I can get everything locked in my safety deposit box. So now I’ve got all these copies running. Then I was thinking these new AI apps will be doing more of what I’ve been asking it to do. I mean they seem to have added a dozen things that I've been asking for. It’s really kinda weird again, as I just sent them this big long notice. I got all the data from both watch’s and the iPhone. . . Not sure if I got the iPad as well, but wanted them to get the data, and pictures, and videos and all together.

Yes again, they haven’t figured out the Workout app yet, but they are making progress on so many other things. It was kinda cool, as I was watching the WDC apple show I got the feeling that they built a new Beta App for me to program my website development. Like it’s going to give me all the tools and features I need to start publishing more and more quickly. . . Lol, even now when I have NO Wi-Fi!







Monday, June 3, 2024

We agreed how the end of the world

Wonderful weekend, again , , , 

I had Jonny over for dinner last night. It was wonderful of course. I thought it was funny how he invited himself for steak and wine. I certainly had invited him countless times, but thought it was odd how he made his request with a specific date and time. I asked him to bring the wine and I had planned to make a great meal for us.

When he arrived, he had brought wine and steaks; and corn on the cob, and broccoli, and garlic bread, with all the spices and such ready to cook the whole meal for us. Of course, I already had steaks seasoned, and cut onions and mushrooms ready to go. I added his cut onions, peppers and cilantro. Then put out some chili heated with melted cheese to nibble with nacho chips.

Yea I heated that up a few times to melt the cheddar cheese I put into it. 

He asked if I had Todd, Kevin and the men’s group over again. So I told him the nacho’s and chili were part of the meal we had on Wednesday with the Welcome Team. And then I called Kevin on the phone, to invite his family for a steak dinner knowing we had enough there for his family as well.

Yea, I got an answering machine and hung up. Catching him randomly open for something has happened before, but not then. Jon and I had a great meal and great conversation. We spoke about all that Jesus had done for us, and where we were growing and challenged. 

We agreed how the end of the world and greed is crashing more and more all around us. He still is studying the Bible so much more than me, and mentioned some signs of this Change. Like the persecution of Christians. . . . I told him how I will randomly browse through the Twitter Feed (X) and how I saw something about how the Moslems are taking over France. The majority of people there are now Moslems, and so the increased crimes are Moslems killing Christians and Jews.

Yea, I explained how I spent the day replanting my seed table. Yea, I’m still cleaning my backyard moving the stuff all around my deck. So I redid all my seed beds, feeling like I was teaching Urban Agriculture to the surviving people here wondering where their next meal will come from. . . Even recording a video for Sal to tell him how great the steal mixer he made for me works. . . 



Thursday, May 23, 2024

dream and it was in the house

5/6/24 So I had a dream and I was in the house with two friends and we were getting up to go somewhere like to a pawnshop or something like that. We were making something to eat some spaghetti or something. It was leftovers, we decided to go somewhere with things that I had, very specific house in Seminole Heights. 

I think it was Chuck and I thought we had another guest and she was not done yet. Somebody said we had to go somewhere so we went to like this pawn shop and it was a really old store that you could buy and sell things, and it wasn’t like we needed anything. You know we were just piddling around and looking at different things and kind of weird. 

I was like making a knife out of aluminum foil. I found something that looked neat and I started playing with it and I changed it and I fixed it and then suddenly I realized that I forgot the food on the stove. It was still on the stove cooking on the stove last time about half of it was still in the pot. But I realize that I forgot about it, that was like, oh my gosh it boiled over by now and it’s made a big mess that might be on fire. I realized that I pulled apart my fire alarms again to fix batteries, so the fire alarms weren’t there.

Last week the batteries were dead again, so I took them all apart, but I kind of freaked out because I realized it was still on the stove and I gotta get out of here right now. I just left the stove on, OK and I said let’s go right now and I just took everybody and whatever they were looking at. I put everything at the cash register. You know it was just like three trinkets that each one of us had, that we were looking at, or playing with. Whatever it was and I was like, I’ll just buy them all so we could get out of here. 

It was so vivid and so specific and I mean, I could tell you what the pasta looked like I could tell you what the food looked like. I remember we tried to pull it out because we were hungry and it wasn’t hot yet it was like half frozen, so I was like not still gonna put it back on the stove.  All of a sudden, somebody said this took off because whatever it was the store we were just around you could tell we were really focused on anything at least I wasn’t really focused on anything and it came apart and I folded over and I was like I can still make this work and and then I realized oh my gosh, I left the fire going.  And grabbed it when I woke up I was waiting, so weird. Write it down. 

5/16/2023 
I climbed into bed and all I can do is say OH THANK YOU JESUS, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you, Love you, love you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I just can’t help it. I’m so happy and comfortable and in peace and joy and I just spent the last hour in the salt water bath with a beer, ha, ha, ha, wow!

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!
What DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY? 
Each year you step into a new vibration and new place of power. The spirals of the planet and the galaxy are all connected to your own magnetism and spinning. You call it the sine wave of your life. It’s about who you are, and where you are. Each year you really shift, millions of miles from where you started. You are knowing more, stepping into more, shifting into a better place.  Like in your conversation with Dick yesterday morning you recognized how to get all you’ve learned together. 
First, starting each new Task with Prayer, as you learned about at work. It was odd for you to use the bathroom as the reminder there at work, so now as he said, to start “each new task with prayers.” This before you is an easy reminder for you. Creating these routines each day that really work for you is critical. Like with the Exodus 90 Exercises and biking again and swimming. You love starting each new stage of your life, and have celebrated this alone on your birthday and other Holy-days all your life. And you have been asking for us to get more clear with you as well. 
We were very clear to you about sharing the Blessings you witnessed this week at your new class yesterday. The Divine Mercy Novena Chaplet you started yesterday was ideal. Dick even recognized that your new Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday schedule now for Church was better than Sunday, Monday, Tuesday you were struggling with. Yes, yesterday you noticed every blessing they shared in the Novena group was another reminder of events you had seen. And as you tried not to say anything, but again heard connection closer and closer to you, so you finally stepped in. 
You knew at the very beginning that you needed to share. This was really ideal too, because as you heard everyone else you reconnected to all the blessings you saw all week. And each experience you shared with others brings you more clarity and more connection within this community. 
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ for everything you share with me. . . 

5/17/2023 7:37am
OK I had another dream last night. This one was like a nightmare and I really tried to avoid writing up anything at all. I know you want me to, but YUCKO. And I finally started talking about it and I didn’t save that, so I’m starting over again now a few hours later. I don’t know why, because I can’t stand writing or dealing with nightmares, but it was so clear it was so strong.  Yes, I often will talk to my iPhone to print into a blog with a dream, because the more I move and think the quicker the dreams fade.  So the IPhone blog page is fast and easy always ideal.

It was a dark scary dream, I was in kind of an old city area, like deep in the hood. And I was with this kid and he knew that he knew where he was going. Like after drugs or something else he shouldn’t be doing anyways. I thought he knew what he wanted and I kept trying to tell him that I know, it’s not a good place to go, but he kept going and I knew it was getting worse and worse and I kept trying to stop him, but he went too far. I mean, I wouldn’t go any further.  He was a big kid, like his dad thinking no one could stop him.

Next thing I knew I was with his dad. He is a big guy like Mr. McDade or something like that. Maybe it was him after one of his sons equally tall and lanky? Again, he wanted to get his son back. I brought him in there again. It was just a nasty space. You know the further you got into it, the more you saw mean people and dirty and nasty and crime all around and you know it was just dark. I mean, I got nervous about myself getting out. OK, don’t know if he actually found his son, because I wouldn’t get into the darkest back corner where they were. But when I got to that last section that you knew they did that it was really bad, because I could recognize the places.

Ye, I recognized the buildings broken down, and the dangerous streets. I could recognize so many things. I got the feeling like I’ve been to hell and back. . . . Again!

I realize now that it’s Pentecost this weekend so that might be why I had to write this! I actually haven’t written more than a few words, I’ve been talking it into my iphone. Which is kind of funny because Johnny came by to get some fedex box, and he had gotten a new cheap flip phone for himself. Yes and was gonna give me his old iPhone like he did with the iwatch. So then I’d have this 11 max that Kim got for me and then the one that Johnny gives me is a 14. They’re coming out with the 16 soon too

I need a better camera, but I don’t know, wait-and-see!

NOW AGAIN I must get more specific and clear about my own personal needs and desires. Getting real about what I want and who I am is really critical.
What have you found now as yon are practicing your exercises and readings and really learning to play more. Do you an how such mine you an speaking with us and do you recognize how much more we are sharing with you, 
I seem to have found the same place I’ve always been. Starting over again, but with more clarity and focus. And My Father brings me home, Always in the Right Place at the Right time who I am is really critical.Yes as the Darkness and the Light are the Same for You Jesus, and you Know You can always carry me through. As you will always be with me and I thank YOU!
What you found again here and now, how you are writing with your pen allows you to express and share something more at a deeper level.  You have been getting clearer all the time and know more about your place and tasks than ever. Getting things done outside allows you to do more every day. You have more trust and more confidence in these steps before you. This focus brings you more power and direction each day. Such actions will allow more to open for you. As everything shifts as you become ready to step into more. . . . . .
I am is really comfortable and happy. Last week at the farmers market, the guy in line before me got a pretty New York strip steak so I did too. Fresh organic and yummy! So I made a bunch of mushrooms and onions. Today I got some sweet potatoes from my front yard and it was so yummy together
What have you found now ?
I am always in such Joy getting into bed . . . Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus, I Love You Jesus, I Love You Jesus, I Love You, I Love You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!
What have you found?
I am always dumbfounded by the circumstances that evolve in any day of the week for me. My time and experiences are always so incredible. I know, I wanted to say DIVINE to Honor YOU, especially since you got this stupid keyboard working again. Yes, I went into the bathroom ready to sit and relax with my iPadPro and my pencil. Then I noticed the pencil was already on, so the battery there is dead dead dead. Seemed like there would be no blogging as I sat, but then I fiddled with this keyboard enough so now I’m typing. 

Yes, I seem to type when I have work to do. I’ll write with the pen when it’s more emotional, then I’ll talk into it when I have a lot to say and get done. It’s always kinda cool. Anyway yesterday was really powerful, or I guess I had a great weekend. It was my birthday Thursday, and I had a free dinner at Ruth Chris Steak House. I was some financial retirement marketing thing, but seeing my birthdate on it, felt like a gift so i went. 

Thursday morning started with Mass and then followed by the ladies group again. Yes I got to mass early Last Sunday after a short swim. Mary was busy setting things up for Mass, as usual and walked by me so I told her how I missed the weekly meetings with all the ladies. She told me they still meet Thursday mornings after Mass and invited me to go with her. So it was great to go on my Birthday.  And I even invited someone to join me with the Steak Dinner. Yea, late notice so forget that.

When the group started, people were invited to share any blessing from the previous week. I kept getting symbols to share more as several mentioned events that I had also experienced.  And of course this included the people sitting right next to me, so I finally chimed in as well.  I mentioned the first blessing was to finally get back into my routine, biking and swimming as some awesome group of ladies got me into the Men Exodus Group where I’ve gotten very focused in my healthy habits. Better still was to get this invite to join the ladies who got me started at St Raphael’s so I felt I had gone in full circle. 
What have you found deeper still in this?
I guess I realized how I needed to include more of my mother’s history in the Welcome Witnessing. What seems really critical now was how I expressed to the ladies how wonderful it was to be paper of a Men’s group that really I the only family I have now. And I couldn’t say that last bit without crying. So it was great to share with the ladies. Of course I remember the first class with them, when Mary spoke about the ninth grade of prayer that she had experienced once. I could relate so much and responded I had done something similarly before I recognized it was something no one else had experienced.
What else did you find in that? 
Yes I remember how embarrassed i was that the experience we shared i sorta do all the time. And to learn and understand that it’s not very common seems really critical at this moment now.
What have you found. 
I really get frustrated when I wanna type and the keyboard isn’t working. I can test it and get it working in other apps, but then when I start to type again in my blog, it stops working. I seem to be spinning again, where I’m not sure what I’m doing and where I should be. I cleaned my laptop and got everything working in the new Sonoma. But then it dies again. And I’ve opened up my desktop and gotten that working and even can FTP to the server. I have not edited or done anything yet. I’m talking to this blog now and it is getting every other word wrong!
What have you found with your prayer life.
I realized I’ve still not been doing prayers with each task. Seems like I am really going backwards again. Yes I’m really happy about cleaning and fixing some things, but the. The next moment I can’t seem to get it right. I always feel like I have so many responsibilities, and when nothing comes together, I feel irresponsible and I do nothing, because it just doesn’t work. I had scheduled an electrician to visit today and he cancelled so nothing has worked all day. I did try a few other things, but still not.

I've got my pen working again, but still have all sorts of errors. Like over five times to get the last word right. It's crazy as I know so much needs do be done and no one seems to be engaged.

Saturday, May 11, 2024

How could I love you more

.

 I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you so much for all you do, share, and express for us to return to your love. I opened Wikipedia as l was Looking up “love” to see what it has, I needed to add what was missing. And the website blocked my ip address. It was really funny, as I have always walked through everything, never stopped by anyone.

Justification of the law by living only for the Spirit. Only the spirit of God, not the flesh. I keep feeling how I need to express the love vibration of GoD. . . How all creation is a vibration of you growing and evolving to become the new light and life of the expanding universe. And I realize all is at hand exactly as we had intended from the start. Which means we will all shift to a new life of truth.

 I know you are trying to make this easy for me. And I know I get stressed out over silly crazy things all the time. I know you are always with me, and I know you always provide for me, and I never have anything to fear or concern myself with. I can’t tell you how strange it is for me to always be protected and benefitting from anything that comes along. And I can’t seem to understand what it is you want me to do next, or what are the critical steps that I need to take ahead of me now.

I really have so much at hand and am beginning to get myself together. Each day I get more and more insight and direction. I keep getting messages and insight each day for me to move forward. I feel very lucky to see so much coming together before me. Like back to the original focus in the garden loving God and my own neighbors.

It is time for you to get more focused. The sun coming into your face over and over again is as clear and strong as we can make it for you. You have emails telling you the same story as well,

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Yes I know and I share as I can. As remarkable as it might seem, the more I know and understand what is before me the easier it is for me to get things done - and now again, I can feel and sense a new level of understanding . . it is another shift in the vibrations of creation. 

Each word, each typo, each scribble shows a higher and higher level of love. Vibrations of Joy and Place, watching the Magic of creation unfold before our eyes. 

This is exactly as we had planned from the very beginning. Even better than we could ever imagine, as you have seen and heard all of your life. Each Instant needs to just blow out your love. And then you realize that this is not your responsibility and you’ve been working, sleeping, trying to do something that somebody else is supposed to be doing and it’s distracting you from your place. Nothing will happen until you admit it and do it yourself its all exactly as you choose.

Finally done something. I've had this to do list in my face since 4/18 and only yesterday did I actually do anything on it. I actually got a lot done on the list even.

It is time for you to turn on your server and get your sites back in order.

 I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ... Each time I get into my office, I only can handle it for a little while. I wonder if I get frustrated with the mess or nothing working right. And it is not only the clutter and mess in my office, but also the cutter and mess on my laptop.

I'm making a lot of progress with everything now. I always get this feeling of peace with the teachings of patience that keep showing up everywhere. It makes me wonder what I'm waiting for or what it is before me that I need to address. 

It is time, for everything to crash. Fill all your gas tanks

I knew it was always about me now. How could I love you more. Each moment this Love gets stronger and stronger. Never am I fearful, it always feels like love, I am always in joy and peace as I know and see what is before me, and it really feels Good too

yez It’s time, For you to get specific and Accept Each step before you. The act of creation is a choice, a desire for love and peace, knowing full well that it all has to be exactly as it is. What a total trip to understand and accept your place and time to share. 

I'm trying to understand this moment before me. And accept it as my choice and responsibility. Like taking care of my house, and laundry, and plants, and foods, and, and, and. Then there is so much in Christ and in love. I know it's really time for you to come. I'm sorry I always ask you to give us more time. I know it's not fair to all those who have passed wanting to return to love and family. 

It’s time

Yes for me now too. Yes I am ready. Bring all things to your Will and Truth again. We all belong with you. Yea I am ready let things BE in Your Love and Peace, Amen

It is time

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

challenged to Trust and Love

I love reading the Welcome Team Guide, by the Dynamic Catholic
I am up to Session Nine: The Jesus Question.
I feel like I know Jesus better than anyone else in my life.  I guess that is because I really do not know anyone as much as I Know Jesus. Then I also have never had someone so close to me in my life.  I realize how much this is who I am. Like I know Jesus, and we grew-up together.  As a child I could hear and find Jesus in everything I did and everywhere I went. Of course, it was very easy to pay attention to Him in Church, or in the Woods, or out alone somewhere.  Confusion and conflict only came with other people and circumstances surrounded me….
 
Write down everything you know about Jesus Christ.
  1. HE IS:
    1. The Word, as Our Truth!
    2. The Son of God, as Our Savior from sin!
    3. The Life of the Holy Spirit, as our  counselor, wisdom, guidance
    4. The Alpha and Omega
    5. The Beginning and the End
    6. My friend and confidant 
    7. Always around, and always listening. . . IT is interesting is how strong HE can get, sometimes telling me what to do. But then at other times, seemingly no where to be found. Then I’ve learned to chant “Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ” to get Him close again like when I need help to complete tasks and stay focused.
    8. Always interested in participating, and sharing in my experiences and challenges. Like now writing about Him, it’s kinda weird as He is watching, like reading everything over my shoulder, curious what else I will say or add . . . . .or curious what I will forget.
  2. Who is HE:
    1. I know he is LOVE, and each life on Earth is an Aspect of LOVE, seeking to grow and achieve more Love, a Higher Level of Love, a Greater Aspect of Love. Each of us is born with the mustard seed of Love gifted to us to carry and bring HIM forth from deep inside of us.
    2. I know Love is eternal, so that we Live forever and we get More clear as we are More LOVE. 
    3. I know the MORE we can LOVE NOW, the more we are given to Love, to Share, to BE.
    4. I know we can achieve anything in LOVE. Being and expressing Higher, Clearer, Stronger forms of Love to lead us into a deeper Union and Mystery of Love with Jesus.
    5. I know we can each BE and Live as Jesus in Love, in Healing, in connection to Nature, in all life.
Jesus is the son of God who showed us the deeper truths and power of Spirit to be fulfilled in the trust and love of The Word. Our generation now, which must Believe and Trust in the Word, and only our personal experiences of His Word, must have a level of Faith and Trust so much deeper and more profound than ever before. The Word is all that we have. We can witness and share the Word with each other, but never have we been so far and separated from Him. Today, there are so many false-prophets and countless pretense of the word in abundance all around us. All aspects of our culture and society propose and support methods and means opposing the word, which force a stronger more secure level of Faith and Love to be sustained.

Like I’ve been so completely challenged to Trust and Love where too much has been given to me, and too much comes through to me. I AM perplexed daily by the Grace and Freedom I have to share and express the Love of God. I was awake st 3am again. Completed the Exodus readings, and started the 33day of Merciful Love book again. I opened it in Adobe and had the app read it to me. Wow, was that just perfect. I wanted to get through everything I needed to read before my Fraternity Meeting today. Now I need to read for Welcome too.






Monday, April 8, 2024

how much a blessing my life is.

Ok I admit, things are happening faster than ever. I realize how much I have learned and how much things have shifted around in my life. It has really been incredible as I learn and share more and more everyday. Of course, I have always realized how much of a blessing my life is. I simply have so much and enjoy so much beauty and peace, like even this moment enjoying the fresh cool breeze coming through my house. I realize it is really beyond the capacity of understanding for most people. I know I am lucky to share and express anything or have anyone understand me at all.

I mean like how Jesus really provides for me all the time. I’m always perplexed and challenged. Like stopping to eat, as I know I can not continue to write with an empty stomach, as I'll just get stupid or lose touch. Yes, I know this after many years of missing meals. Ok, so I pack up my iPad and pencil and iPhone with whatever I think I might be able to use or complete while I eat my lunch. And then go down stairs, wondering what is fast and easy to eat. Oh, I know, I have a big bowl of chopped veggie in the fridge. So I step outside with my scissors, and I clip a few leaves of this lettuce and then pick a few perfect little red tomato's and then a few leaves of arugula, and a few big Cuban Oregano leaves and I'm all set for lunch. Yes, I grabbed my mail, while I was out and it looks like an IRS notice and medical Bills. Yucko!

I take my big bowl of salad and sit with those envelopes. Oh, great it's "not a bill" but the breakdown and accounting of all the dentist did. Super duper. Then the IRS notice says I've over paid. What? A refund from the IRS, who over pays them. How awesome is that, another check for almost $3000. I guess I am focused and doing what Jesus wants me to do, cause clearly He is providing for me.

And honestly I have three people in my life now, that really make an effort to listen and understand me. Not just me personally, but also my current challenges and circumstances. And the real experience and emotions of the moment and the spiritual expressions and learning beyond this immediate moment. I really find it to be remarkable. Not only to have people who really understand, but more so people that take on the challenge to help and guide me through whatever insane experience and challenge I am led to share with them. 

Of course, now as I sit outside on my rocking chair in my front porch, and I realize I meet all three of these people within hours of each other every weekend. Yes so I'm totally blessed. . And now Carol has picked me up for the Phyllis Wheatley board meeting that we attend together once a month. 

Thursday, February 22, 2024

this tool lets me do all kinds

I am perplexed again. I realized that I can’t get to sleep and I need to share something about Jesus. I’m really not sure what. (Lol: https://journals2mygod.blogspot.com/2024/02/theres-mountains-so-your-climbing.html) He’s been getting more intense and more focused. Like there’s something gonna shift drastically. I just picked up my iPhone and started talking. It’s incredible how accurate this is now. 

At work today, I even noticed how the GIS program was doing things that I had wanted the CAD programs to do 20 years ago. It’s really weird when I see things shift in front of me like that. Like I had a new install on my iPhone twice this weekend. Usually I get a new Beta install once a month but twice in one weekend. I guess I did send in like three comments this weekend about things they needed to fix. I wonder if they fixed them all.

I don’t know who I was speaking to this week, but I mentioned how Apple and Microsoft have been fighting for centuries and if those two companies could collaborate, we would be light years ahead by now. They get so arrogant and so selfish that they think they know what they’re doing. But instead, if they collaborated and worked together, we would have so much better technology, tools and resources. 

The amount of money they spend on secrecy and deception is obscene! And then advertisement is a complete waste of money, because it’s all a con-job anyway. But you know if they actually work together and collaborated intelligently to serve people instead of just steal from us, everybody would be better off.

It’s really the same story between nations and cities and states. Instead of fighting and struggling if they actually collaborated, everybody would be better off. It’s actually just the rich and the powerful that like to fight. All the rest of us are happy to collaborate and share because we know we’re better off doing that. 

Sooner or later we’ll be able to. I Always get this sense that the greed and a selfishness will strangle itself and all die off. Just like I always have this feeling that we’ll just be out of gas. Like one day we wake up and there’s no gasoline anymore. All of us have to do something without a car. The whole culture would change; people would support each other and help each other instead of racing around selfishly. 

We’d get back into families and communities instead of all this other bullshit. Wouldn’t it be remarkable if we could just get rid of the car? Everybody’s staying in their local community and their own neighborhood supporting and working with each other. Wow, what an incredible idea.

So I wonder if that’s what I needed to write about, or talk about. I bet you this tool lets me do all kinds of things that I haven’t figured out yet. Like I’m sure it puts in a period automatically instead of me saying it every time. I keep saying it anyway, even though I see the punctuation show up.

I thank you Lord Jesus for the wonderful opportunity to share Your Light, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to achieve in Your Spirit! Amen!

Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Prodigal who wouldn’t accept

I’m a Roman Catholic.

Wow, I didn’t realize that “Roman” Catholic was more specific than anything else. I’ve finally becoming what I decided my Mom really had intended for me. And as a major confirmation, I realized how I had completed my Mom’s Sermon. It was even on my dad’s birthday, when the actual last piece was in place, that it dawned on me how I’d finished. Of course, I sent it to my dad and still feel he never saw it or understood. . . Ok, I sent it to my Step Mom, who shares everything like this with my dad. .

Or she reads, understands, and explores likely before sharing, to get it into context so he actually learns and grows from it, instead of fighting or ignoring it.

Simultaneously to this, I have been through the Men’s Welcome Retreat with the church. This ended with an AWESOME Rosary and then we washed each others’ feet.  And finally went in for a confession. I realized that though being a Prodigal, I never had done the actual Sacrament of Reconciliation. GREAT FAITH is focused on the Father, Focused on the Nature of GOD, Father Focused, Seeking to Understand, Will endure NO MATTER WHAT.  Learning to endure, to see beyond the visible, to sense in Spirit what God’s is Saying, Focused on the Ways and Character of GOD. GREAT FAITH, I’m Trusting God NO matter what!

This is what Charles Stanley is saying on the podcast right now: Matthew 8:8 and it’s about GOD now. . . Yes, 8:8 is my Emily’s Birthday, so this is more present and powerful for me than ever. It’s almost like my Daughter came to me to teach me this lesson. And she fought for 6 years to get to me. I knew someone was coming when Maryanne told me in High School. 

Yes, again I’m back in High School, the Prodigal who wouldn’t accept or believe anything was from God, Even though I had already exploited everything I was ever given . . Wow.