ONE at the top of the page

Okay first week with SEEL. I opened the book and have been praying and focused on the DAY ONE, Psalm 8, and WHO has helped me get to this moment now! And it’s always about Jesus who I se and feel coming through me in everything. IN the Air and the winds, in the rain and the mist, and in Earth and the dirt. . . All life has spoken to me. And it’s really my Church, St Raphael’s who has helped. “There’s my promised land” (song on the radio I hear now with TobyMac on TheJoyFM.com) . . . As “this whole life is part of a PLAN” . . . 

Yes these versus feels like the Contemplative Prayer book our Men’s Fraternity just finished, which is really the Grade Nine Prayer we did in the very first Class that Bonnie told me about when I was lost at St Pauls.

OF COURSE, then I see this morning, ready to read the next day in the Ignatian Adventure that I started with day ONE at the top of the page, but it was week two instead of week one! Opps, so today’s prayer and dedication needs to start at day one, in week one. Isaiah:1-7, and I can’t read more than the first verse and im in tears. For I’ve been called by name, Called by my Mom’s Name, Called as Rafé (aka . . . Raffie) that nickname of Her Father. As I am called forth into a New Life, and a New Community, and New Family and Church as my Catholic Mom KNEW. . . As she KNEW in naming me for Her Father. 

As the river and waters flow . . . Brings me to know that by my Baptism I and cleaned into the Grace of God. And my whole life has been the river. First the one behind my house in the woods of New Jersey, and as my professional career, modeling Rivers as and Engineer, and again now as we address these waters before us dealing in my newest career focused on saving lives as the waters rise around us.

Now today,…lol…I know again how I need to begin with the reading which Harriet provide on the first day. I was missing some when I  went to the meeting and had only printed the DOC files to convert into PDF to create my notes files. But had never included the PDFs she sent that I needed to include as well:  

"have as their purpose the conquest of self and the regulation of one's life in such a way that no decision is made under the influence of any inordinate attachment."

And I realize as I read this line that since 2017, my last SLAM was about this same things too. Lost Wife, Job and Home, BOOM! And it was all about getting more clear and focused on my love and growth with Jesus. This is when I moved my dad out of my Mom’s house. We never sorted or organized, but only did the most basic repairs and cleaning out the Garage again as I did in NJ after high school. But this time, I got my dad to pray with me each morning before doing anything. We would have the direct experience of ease and comfort moving and doing our chores whenever we prayed first. Several times we forgot to pray and would get hurt, struggle and encounter conflict. 

I would stop him and reach out my hands to hold his in prayer. Of course, this happened several times during the few weeks we moved and cleaned everything out. As crazy as it seems the old plastic bins full of screws and nails I organized in NJ were multiplied into many now, which he didn’t want anymore. So now I have 5-6 plastic drawer boxes filled with screws and nails in my garage. 

Yes, this has evolved for me into chanting: “Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ,” just to get the WORD, feeling and Love of Jesus in my mind and heart. 

As I read this, I started to cry. My mom had named me at conception. it was her promise and commitment with the marriage. I was the only child “planned” in the family. The wedding commitment included a child named for her Father. As I cried reading this prayer i stopped to write my Step-Mom. This last week she took my dad to the hospital. . . 

You Have Called Me by Name Oh, Lord my God, You have called from the sleep of nothingness merely because in your tremendous love you want to make good and beautiful beings. You have called me by my name in my mother's womb. You have given me breath and light and movement and walked with me every moment of my existence. I am amazed, Lord God of the universe, that you attend to me and, more, cherish me. Create in me the faithfulness that moves you, and I will trust you and yearn for you all my days. Amen. -Joseph Tetlow, SJ

“In the world, greater is the One Living inside of me, , , , every day I loss the battle . . . I hear a voice, and he calls me redeemed…” TheJoyFM.com Greater by MercyMe…. 6:26am