I am starting again with the last days of SEEL with Imaginative Prayers, I need to get deeper into this Image I’ve been exploring . . . Learning more and stepping into know God Better. It’s important to step into this more clearly. As the idea of imagining the direct personal time with Jesus with His birth, and now stepping beyond this to Stand in the presence of the Glory of God. Knowing that His Love and Spirit seeks to live and express through my life. . . My experience, my now, here as we can see and visualize deeper experiences and imagine a deeper stronger expression of Jesus living through me this very moment before you. . . . Wow!
Feeling deeper into my understanding and experience is really the whole point of this lesson. I've always had a very powerful imagination, where I can step into another time and space really easily and I can really be there in some sense. I've noticed my ability to empathize with other people is really strong too. And now I realize I’ve really never read much, and avoided books because I put myself into these places and am always feeling deeply into people too much, especially when the books are creating sin and deceptions. I’ve felt guilty for never reading anything, but suddenly I now understand why. It’s a good thing I’ve avoid this culture of greed and deception. I mean, I can feel something from a car driving by, “oh that lady is feeling this”. . . . so to put this all into a book might have really been too much for me . . . Uhg, maybe it’s time to read the Bible!
I have always been able to easily feel the pain and struggle of people around me. This is interesting to get the idea in Day 6 of letting go of a place or a scene of being there with Jesus during HIS Birth, to simply be in the presence of God, to fully sense and experience this moment Of HIM Holding onto this simple divine moment I am writing about, just to “BE” and fully engage in this silent Peace and Joy of God.
This seems very familiar to me now as in the last week or so, I recognized the feeling and experienced how God shares in the warmth of my heart whenever I Pray with others. I’ve noticed this at church too. Where I get the very powerful warmth in my heart. I notice this at events during the day too, EVEN with the Prayerline calls I do Fridays and Sundays.
Recognizing more of this singular experience, knowing that my solitude and peace its about accepting that I have more time to Honor God. Jesus here with Mary and Joseph, help me to align my will with Yours for the glory of God in the name of Jesus, Amen.
This brings me back to day one:
But again stepping into God’s Wisdom and Glory to recognize that there is something about my past that I buried. And instead of finding and forgiving some karma, I’ve been caught into these obstacles of Doubt and Fear.
This is really so powerful for me, as I realize now how my dad will be here .. tomorrow and my son has lost it yesterday. And now again in my space and time the random experience of sharing God’s Beauty and Love, in His Son dying to share and teach whatever could be next for me. And suddenly, I have this typo “Ely,” and see my mother name? Of course, I couldn’t erase or correct this. . .
Why is my mom showing up for me now? Could it be to understand more about why I feel lost in doubt and fear about some karma I have hidden deep down inside . . . about my mom. Yes, “About my Mom?”Yes, so my mom, showed up again this morning (June 6, 2025 8am Mass). When I first joined the church, I was working again for a time, and they said they needed to buy new hymnals. Wow, so I gave them $444.44 for new hymnals… yes like I always give to the JoyFm, since Madison was born 4/4. . . So this morning was the first time I saw any hymnals with my mom’s name on it. I mean, even a thousand hymnals, I figured 5 or 10 might have my mom’s name, and I would see it sooner or later.
but to see it today! This morning? What? What did I miss now? What is she teaching me now?
Of course, I just started to cry there in church. Yes, tears rolling down my face during Mass. And I had to snap pictures and send things out. Like I realized I had tried to talk to Sharon about this trauma I’ve found hidden in me. I knew I needed it pursue this initial instinct speaking with Sharon. I'm really not sure what she can share and explain to me, but I recognize that if this is my instinct, then there is something real here for me to pursue.
I guess it might be something with Chris too. So now I guess it's all about getting real about my own imagination and visions of Christ Jesus, and my own son. I wonder when I first considered having a child?
Repeated from Mass this morning... Of course now I know I need to step into something for my mom. And now I remember sending all her grandkids the Rosary for Christmas one year, and now I wonder if it was about these Holy Women trying to reach my son who was spinning out of control…
Well of course not, since my dad always had contempt for me, why would any of my siblings have anything other than contempt. Of course, they all had some excuse about me being a blacksheep or a trouble maker.
Of Course, the reality is something that I only learned about years later. I realized how the Waldwick Police always ignored me, or simply refused to arrest me, because they saw My dad's belt swinging at me in the parking lot before we even left the police staton. Of course. I was trapped in the moving car front seat next to him, and really couldn't hide, run, escape or even protect myself. So I'm sure this was one of the many times that I had belt marks across my face. . . I never considered what a policeman would think seeing this . . . Which became obvious years later!
What was more bizarre than anything, was that my dad picked me up at the police station while I was still in middle school. Like not even a teenager yet. Then the police avoided me. I could see them watching me, almost like they were spying on me, just to see what they would let me get away with next. At least until I was 19 or 20 diving my rabbit through town, drunk . . . .
Yes, that was when I learned about it. The cop pulled me over. Drunk, speeding, avoiding arrest . . . Wow, he could have locked me up. But no! “Eric is that you, do you know what your Father will do to you if I arrest you again?” And then he asked if any one else could drive. And the other kid in the backseat drove us home . . . One of my friends who did not even have a drivers license . . . Of Course, it was years later before I realized what had actually happened. I mean my friends were perplexed that any cop would let a drunk go, especially when I turned off my headlights and sped-up when I saw his flashing lights behind me. But then no tickets, no arrest, and all but an escort home . . He was terrified of what would happen to me. The police would have nothing to do with my father’s insane violence and abuse that would bring jail time if witnessed today.
Course I wonder now, if my experiences here had something to do with the laws changing. . .
six clear steps for unlocking the door of forgiveness.
1. Find someone you trust to pray with you. It helps if this person is spiritually mature. Look for someone who has suffered as a Christian and been made stronger for it; someone you know has had to forgive; someone with whom you feel safe. This same person may assist you in responding to the message of the next three chapters.
2. Begin to praise God and thank Him. “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise” (Psalm 100:4). Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you.
3. When you sense His presence, consider Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Acknowledge His love and His power. As a believer you have identified with Him, you have given Him your life and your life has been hidden in Him. The Holy Spirit lives in you. Areas where you have not forgiven are areas you have not surrendered to the One who loves you. Pray out loud, “Lord Jesus, please forgive me for trying to save my life, for not trusting you.” Humble yourself.
4. Remember the words of Jesus: “Father forgive them— they know not what they are doing.” These are eternal words, and He has given them to you. The Eternal One is willing to release the power of those words again through you.
5. Think of the person who hurt you and what that person did. Let yourself feel the pain. Forgiveness takes a deeper hold on us as we forgive from the place of pain. To say you forgive while denying the pain does not deal with the root. Once you have gotten in touch with the pain, say out loud: “In the name of Jesus, I forgive __________ for _______.” Say the name of the person or describe the person (the man with the dark jacket who attacked me outside of my home two years ago). Then be very specific in what you are forgiving the person for. There are at least two reasons to say it out loud. First, it helps you focus and keeps you from being vague. Second, you can listen to yourself. You can tell if you are being real or not. If you trust the person praying with you, you may ask him or her to help you be specific. If that person has discernment or empathy, he or she may be able to give you words that help you. For example, “I forgive _______ for humiliating me and rejecting me and making me feel worthless.” Have your friend pray that the love of God would release you and make you a vessel of His love. Repeat these steps if others come to your mind whom you need to forgive. If you have difficulty speaking declarations of forgiveness, try speaking to the Lord about your hurt and pain. Let Him lead you to the place of forgiveness. He will. I suggested this to Lydia, who did not believe she could forgive her parents or even say the words. I asked her to tell Jesus how angry and hurt she was. She later told me she tried to say, “I don’t want to forgive them,” but instead the words “I forgive my parents” came out. As she prayed, God worked through her. Upon saying the words she began to weep and express sorrow that her parents were never loved and did not know any better. “I realized how miserable they were,” she said, glimpsing their own pain for the first time. 2 Ask God to bring others to your mind. One or two is plenty to start with, since you need to be willing to touch the pain. (You may find that you need to take the next step of renunciation, which is found in the next chapter.) Remember, we should not ask for more than we are willing to give. With every blessing God brings into our life comes the responsibility to use it in accordance with His plan for us.
6. Give thanks to God for His goodness, and ask Him to direct your paths. Use your newfound freedom to love someone in a practical way. The fruit of forgiveness is love.
