101 SEEL: Allows me to offer these up to Jesus

New SEEL week One: “Spiritual Exercises for Everyday Living” begins again. Of course, it's Page 2 in the book that has my first Highlight, now bolder, darker and needing more attention… “To whom much is given, much is expected.” . . . and it's really something that I've known and tried to come to terms with for a while since I’m so blessed here!

I mean, everything new that I learn in the Catholic Church has really explained and put context to things I've done before. It's been like hearing the hidden secrets that I had stumbled into through trial and error. I still remember Mary first speaking about a powerful experience with Contemplative Prayer and Jesus during my first class: Saint Theresa of Avila’s Nine Grades of Prayer. Mary reminded me of a similar experience, and I just chimed in after her explaining my own. Once again it was more about understanding and realizing what it was all about. It just slammed me that moment, and I likely interrupted her with my big mouth all excited to share. This was also when Lisette realized she's in this deep Contemplative Prayer with Jesus all the time.  Once again this was revealing to me, as with her, when we talked about it again earlier this month . . . and I suddenly realized how my life of prayer was always started asking for Wisdom "ppp" = “Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to,” with the Wisdom Lessons and Exodus Speaking it was all the same that we shared.

Now the Theme we started with in this SEEL Week One was all about the Unconditional Love of God.

And as I read this first passage from the Bible to pray about, it felt like it was written just for me. . . calling me forward into His LOVE from the "Waters and Rivers" where I have lived for 30 years. I know I was blessed to be "Moving Rivers" for so long as a civil engineer. And I guess I'm sorta in wonder as I consider what I did. I could some how feel into the dynamic systems of the rivers that allowed me to change and move them. It really wasn't rocket science, I simply changed system elements to see what happened, and then used flowrate and elevation charts to define what worked best. It was what always worked for me, trial and error again, like everything else I learned in my whole life.

But now I read about God calling me by name away from this life moving rivers. A year ago when I first started SEEL, I was distracted back into modeling rivers for maybe 6 months. Of course, the day before I was supposed to start work, I got into a bike accident, so you think I would have known it wasn't right for me. But that same work is what brought me to St Pete as well, again lasting for about 6 months when I moved into start a new office before Covid hit closing it. Now I've started teaching again, and have been trying to stay away from Rivers. Of course, I got a call yesterday about helping with a model for $30k. What's funny about this, is doing the midnight models like this allowed me to play with my kids 24/7. I was totally blessed to be able to spend so much time with my children, so extra cash now might be good too.

Now it's really been about spending the time with Jesus. And now again I'm sore and tired from another bike accident. It's my third bike accident in thirty years. I remembered my first on campus at USF in Tampa. Then my second last year on 9/11/2023, labor day before I was planning to work again. And now it was 10/2/24 that I got smashed again.  All I know about it now, was that I needed to slow down more.

My son told me to stay alone in my new house. And I soon realized it was about sharing more deeply in the Unconditional Love of Jesus. I kept trying to find a way to share this, Airbnb and whatever else I could think of. And I guess I need to stop searching or trying to "find a way" to share and Love as only Jesus could express this through me. I'm certainly never going to "plan something" suitable to the power and passion that Jesus Has for me. I still jump on inspirations and thrive on the divine guidance I see in every moment. 

Yes, I know this week I'm trying not to move, and stay relaxed and at ease for my body to heal. Course I know I've beaten pain all my life. I mean, I can't count the times I've been hit, punished, cut, hurt, beaten into blood & bruises. I was always surprised I never broke a bone. But now I've cut my head for a second time. But still I've always been able to muscle through pain, and know that's just who I am.   

Of course, the next Bible Verse is about the Providence of God where three times he says to avoid even the thought of needing something. And as with these aches and pains from my latest bike accident, I know they are temporary and insignificant. . . . Sorta like the thought for food, clothing, or thoughts of any desire, are simply a waste of time and effort. While all thoughts and efforts must be towards the Kingdom of God, and all else will be provided. And again it's a verse that's been written for me. Like calling me by name to step away from the rivers. Now again I've been given so much Blessing from the Kingdom of God that I have no need or desire for anything, trusting in the Providence of God.

Again this is the critical challenge of seeking God's Perspective and Wisdom for this moment in my own Spiritual Growth. I've written many times about this too. Understanding that seeking first the Kingdom brings me back to the very first line I wrote here. . . “To whom much is given, much is expected” . . . so even now as I recover from another bike accident. I suffer through aches and pains knowing this allows me to offer this suffering up to Jesus and accept this time of peace and solitude as more time to study, learn and grow in Jesus, again God's Providence giving to me.

This next Bible verse brings me back again to knowing the experience of God's Providence carrying me through the "Waters of Life." I know each day I'm protected and carried. Even with another Bike accident, where I accept the lesson to slow down more and focus on what's important. Knowing it is all in the Love of God and carrying me forward. Course with muscling through the pains of being bullied all my life, I've always known I'd be fine, I'm safe and protected. This obviously doesn't mean, I avoid all troubles and pains, but they all come and go where I'm always growing and coming out stronger than before.

Now the next Bible Verse for this first week of SEEL is Psalms 131. This is about being at peace in the Lord . . . I guess this is why I've been able to come this far. I know I'm always protected, I know I'm Loved and Guided by God. I know it will all come out fine in the Providence of God. Sure I get impatient and try to do what I think I need to do next. And this has been my focus here alone in this house. Yes it's a big beautiful house so I thought I needed to share it and open the doors to everyone. Clearly that wasn't the best thing for me, or what was necessary. 

Of course, this leads into the next verse this week in SEEL. It's not something for me to know, but to trust and accept that GOD KNOWS. Again this bring me back to the Kingdom First. Trusting and knowing in God's Providence where all things come through God. Its not my work or will, or desire that brings things forth for me, but it's all in God's Hands. . . again trusting in the Providence of God. Trusting this Unconditional Love of God!

Wow, I'm listening to the Intouch ministry on the JoyFM.com radio this morning. God repeats Himself for us to learn and grow by being obedient in God. It takes courage to listen and follow.