104.1 SEEL
The InTouch podcast, focused on how "humility" should be our goal .., I am outside with my iPad on my hammock. This old dirty hammock has been ripped up a bit. I put it into the washing machine, it didn't really get any clearer but the tears got worse.
I have not written much lately, and I realize my personal journalling should really be separated from the SEEL work that I need to do. It's weird writing now outside in the sunshine. Sometimes my scribbles are typed perfectly and then the very next line nothing comes out even close.
This Peace with Jesus is about being undisturbed, real and genuine; unanxious with the crazy events of my life. Content in all life, with Trusting Jesus in all things. Sustaining peace has been consistent, and I really feel lucky, as I've learned to just smile and go along.
Charles Stanley is talking about people being "Exalted" for service or something. I guess this really brings me back to where I started: “those who are given much, much is expected." attention… “To whom much is given, much is expected” . . . I went back to SEEL 101 to find this bold text I posted above, and so I decided to keep them both. I noticed I have the same words, but it’s slightly different. It feels like something I need to explore deeper. I guess it’s an added pronoun for “those.” Now, I struggle and fight with my tasks and responsibly. Now we read and study about mother Mary who completely submitted herself to God.
And I guess this brings me back to my prodigal son story. Submitting my life to Jesus where all my will and expertise were given to Spirit. As weird as it seems I've already written about how I needed to find my old Journals so I can better understand how I had done this. What is strange now is that I scanned all the pages when the house sold in Seminole Heights. I did look through all my digital records and never found any of it. Then I was cleaning off my back porch and found a big wooden box that would work great to store the Journal pages. Yes, guided to do the same thing again. It’s obvious to me how much U get guided all the time, but I guess it’s important to share and explain these moments. Yes, when I moved in here, I found all my old Journals still in boxes that I had. Course I piled them all in the garage and never opened one.
I know l had to revise some of my commitments when l came home from the hospital in 1980. I'm not sure how successful I have been. I remember telling Jesus that He brought me back to do something here and now, so I didn't want any airy-fairy stuff coming through to me. With all that I've been through and seen before me, seeing Angels and Spirits seems like it would have helped instead of hurt. So I have kinda asked to revise our commitments, though I'm not entirely sure I was successful. I mean my discernment might have been clearer and stronger with wings and halos. I tend to trust everyone too easily and accept what shows up as my next responsibility in Christ.
I guess that is why I need to stay alone at home now. I have nothing to do but write and share in Christ Jesus. I try to clean and stay focused about my place and responsibility. And it's never really clear to me. The been doing a lot of reading and not much else.
3:58:49pm. 12/9/2024 I finished my classes on Friday. I didn't know my grades were due but luckily I was almost done with everything when I got a call from the office. I asked Lynn to help and it was all done in no time. I have done more since then, but I don't know what to do next.
2:05:53 pm 12/10/2024 Keeping peace with us always Ephesians 4, rejoice in the Lord always. I never felt trapped by my materialism. I always feel so much responsibility to be productive with all I am given. I see my time now as a way of escaping all my chores, writing, and learning instead of redoing my compost, plants, and gardens.. I still feel like I have so much to do. And I know I have to do these lessons. I know I am rich and I wonder if it will be gone next month. I have a hearing date February 20th about the house. Yes, 1420 on 20th Ave will be in court which all full like it's done already when I see these numbers all line up. Like peace is a gift from God to is my home and all God has given to me. So in peace I can accept all that GOD has given to me and know my work here will never finish through This freedom I have been granted.
Now, I need to repeat this last reading again. And as I read this over again I wondered how to apply it more to myself. Course I've never really "trusted" in riches beyond anything else, but have trusted God to bring me through. The riches have helped, and really have always just shown up as needed. But it's never been a priority, or even something that I really pursued. Funny, what comes to mind was when I first started working. Like when I come to St. Pete I was in a house in no time. I don't think I was in my new job for a full month and I was moving into a house. And then every time Colleen got pregnant I lost a job, where the new job was set within the week. Business just came so easy for me. Like, I remember how many times I've just told people how to do things, and solved all their problems with No invoice, no consulting or anything. Of course, what comes to mind now was when the county engineer asked me to this meeting with a bunch of developers, engineers, and attorneys. “What’s the model going to do here” . . . Easy peezy for me, but I could see that blew the place to pieces.
Philippians 3:7-16. Pray for St. Paul's single-minded and single-hearted focus on Christ. Ask: When have I experienced or witnessed such focus, such freedom in my life? When have I experienced or witnessed such focus, such freedom in my life? LOL, When have I NOT witnessed such focus, such freedom in my life? Seems like once again getting new words and definitions for things I’ve always known and always done.
I had a visit with Kay, and then Kevin called almost to confirm the joy of helping his wife on Monday. We spoke a lot, or I was able to speak with them both a lot. It brought me back to my Welcome witnessing and I had to find my blog posting about it which was really wicked kewl. I found it and discovered it was the transcripts from my conversation explaining it all to my Spiritual Director.
It was a great blissing to read though it all again. And to see or realize how much has come from it, or how for I've gone since then. I feel like I've done a lot to prepare and step into something more and new and stronger than ever
before.
Read John 3:22-30. Reflect on John the Baptist's freedom: "He must increase, but I must decrease." How have I demonstrated such freedom and other-centeredness? Where in my life do I still need to let go of excessive self-preoccupation and control?
I’m not sure if I have done this much at all. I know I've been inspired and dive into things with great focus and ambition. And I've seen and learned as necessary and then move on as necessary easily too. I've been perplexed lately as l have so many great opportunities, and have so many resources beyond my understanding. I've lost control of most all things. And recognize how much I still need to do.
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