guiding me to do more every day.

 guiding me to do more every day.

10:51pm Tuesday 6/25/2024

Last night at the welcome meeting, we were talking about the scripture that Dan had prepared for us. It was a story of Jairus, asking to have his daughter healed, and then the woman who touched Jesus cloak and was healed in the crowds as they walked to Jairus’s Home.

I commented how wonderful it was to have this Bible verse review after watching the chosen (I still always cry seeing this scene). I mentioned how I was raised Methodist and had gone to countless classes and lectures, but the Bible never meant anything to me at all. But now to see and hear about these passages again, now they were so clear from The Chosen. They become so much more real, and viable for us.

It’s wonderful to share and talk about this with the men in our group. Everyone agreed and understood. Then this morning when I woke up doing the Exodus AP, and turned on the JoyFM. I listened to the Family Focus and then Charles Stanley doing my morning exercises. I was getting ready to leave to get to the men’s fraternity. Then I stopped to listen to the morning prayer at JoyFM, and Bill started speaking about watching the last episode of The Chosen.

He said how it ended with Lazarus and Jesus talking about the Old Testament, where Isaiah prophesied about Jesus, his death and suffering. Lazarus said that it was so powerful for him now because the words on the paper didn’t really mean anything, while Jesus sitting now before him was his friend (Isaiah:53).

It was really wonderful to have that experience of hearing that as I was biking to the men’s group. I remember biking home the night before, thinking I was just going to sleep and get up in the morning to bike back again. I realized how wonderful it was to have Jesus as my priority now. I really understood this and accepted it.

I realized I always sort of listen to Jesus, I never really knew what it was all about. But it was always very real for me to hear the voices, and understand the direction I was getting all the time. So after the rosary when the men’s group got together it was my turn to talk about my week.

I realize that week my spiritual director had confronted me about priorities and how getting a job was important. I really wasn’t concerned about it, as Jesus always provided for me. Of course, that same afternoon that I was confronted about a job, I got a call about a job with St Pete College. But the truth is Jesus is my priority taking my time to write now and share the truth of what Jesus does for me. 

I remember again when Christopher moved to Boston to get another degree. Kim and I took them to dinner at the Front Porch and we were just chatting and reminiscing about our times together. Then Kim told them about the new roof. She decided to buy the house from me and her mortgage company asked for a new roof.  It was Friday a week before the closing and I ran into a handyman next door fixing something for a neighbor. I just saw the truck and his tools as he was leaving and I asked him if he ever replaced a roof. He said no, but he had a buddy who did. The next day they visited and started replacing the roof. I agreed to five thousand for the new roof, but then had to run to Home Depot when they wanted to replace some boards.

Anyway, Kim was totally perplexed sharing this story. Who in their right mind waits until the last week to find a new roof? And then recruits a random stranger in the street. No quotes, no references, nothing but trusting divine providence. And then beyond all understanding, the roof was replaced that very weekend. Literally started on the next day. And I even got my homeowners insurance to pay for it, since the roof was leaking anyway. So then Kim closed on the sale Wednesday. . . But what it was all about is the life, that I’ve lived. . . Or always just lived, never really noticing that I did anything different from anyone else. 

I said to my Spiritual Director it’s much like I played basketball all my life and now with the Catholic Church I’m learning all the rules. Yes, it’s always been a relationship with Jesus. Like getting my truck fixed and knowing I have to get online and fix this writing that I started. Yes, Jesus asks me to write all the time. I need to record this experience I share with Him.

It’s always a challenge to write and think about what He does. But I’m always listening and trying to do whatever He wants me to do. I guess, He really wants me to take care of my house that He’s given me now. I’ve tried to do so many things around here that I can’t seem to get things done. Every day He is asking me to do more. Take care of the garden. Take care of the kitchen, take care of the pantry. and “Don’t forget to eat a real meal.” . . . . lol, yes and none of the processed crap . . . 

I know, more and more of our food system is getting corrupted and destroyed. I also know I’m gonna be feeding people more and more myself. It’s really something He’s told me about for a long time. Sometimes I kinda understand and sometimes I don’t. But I guess now again, I’m learning and growing. Like the experience with Kim and Christopher at the Front Porch, I never even noticed what happened, but just flowed through the experiences as I was Given, taking my place and responsibility, and TRUSTING IN FAITH! Kim really opened my eyes to so much, saying how I did that sort of things all the time. . . Which I’m still not sure I understand.

Thank you so so much Jesus for sharing this time with me. Thank you for this wonderful life, that You’ve given to me. Thank You for leading and guiding me to do more every day. I know You will always provide for me. I know that I’m always safe. I know You’re on Your way back. Please help me to be ready and listen and follow all You ask. For the glory, of Father Son and Holy Ghost, amen. 

6:54am Wednesday June 26th, 2024

As I got downstairs to start putting new shelves in my pantry. I brought my iPad and iPhone with me because I knew I had to edit this blog post and add links in. Yes, i couldn’t sleep without writing, and i just turned on my iPhone and spoke into it. . . Lol. . . “Period, new-line, new-line. . . “ So i knew it was full of errors. . . Oh, and adding links, as there is something about the real places and real experiences that makes reading this so much more real for people. . . Yeay, whatever!

So I got downstairs and plugged in my iPhone and turned on the radio again. . . And this song came on OUTLINING my Priorities AGAIN! . . . Lol, or my life story . . . 

The story of me was a story of shame
Wrong turns written on every page
So many parts that were so messed up
But I love the part where You showed up
Rewriting my past, rewriting my hurt
Line by line, word by word
And now my story is livin' proof
There's not a chapter that you can't use

My story, Your glory
My pain, Your purpose
My mess, Your message
In all things, I know You're workin'
One life, one mission
One reason why I'm livin'
All for You, not for me
My story, Your glory

Now the story of me is a story of grace
Fingerprints of mercy on every page
No more ashamed of the path I took
You set me free to be an open book
If even my scars are part of Your plan
Take all of my heart, Lord, here I am
My only cause 'til You call me home
Is knowin' You more and makin' You known

My story, Your glory
My pain, Your purpose
My mess, Your message
In all things, I know You're workin'
One life, one mission
One reason why I'm livin'
All for You, not for me
My story, Your glory

All of me, all for You
Let all I say and all I do
Point to the one who changed my life
And let me speak the legacy I leave behind

My story, Your glory
My pain, Your purpose
My mess, Your message
In all things, I know You're workin'
One life, one mission
One reason why I'm livin'
All for You, not for me
My story, Your glory

Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, , , , yes it looked this song up on my iPhone and “cut and pasted” from the iPhone to the IPad. . . . Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ You are the COOLEST!  Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to Achieve Your Glory. . . Amen.

Opposition added these links above . . . . Evidently it distracts you from the priority of the two links already there . . . . So again asking for the “word” Jesus in the voice in my head, so I’m sure I’m following directions, and move all the extra links here to find as needed. . .  

doing the Exodus AP, and turned on the JoyFM. I listened to the Family Focus and then Charles Stanley . -

.

how I felt it was a done deal

What a wonderful life!

I’m always invited to the coolest things. Thankfully I’ve been in this class here in the Atrium at church where they are teaching people how to direct children to Jesus. It really seems so preposterous, since young children already know Jesus, and are really struggling to get into our world separated from Jesus by birth. I realize I kept Emily in Jesus by always asking her instead of telling her. . . And was so fascinated to learn what they did.

I’m never sure what I’m doing or what is next for me in this incredible blessing. I’m always perplexed by this. Like yesterday I was literally embarrassed when Dick asked about my to-do list wanting to know my priorities. He was very clear and focused on how “getting a job” and making some income was a critical top priority for our lives.

The one priority I’ve all but ignored all week. Then halfway through the day I got a call about coming in for an interview with St Pete College. It was kinda a surprise for me! I told Dick how I’d asked Richard for a recommendation at USF, and then the same day I got a note from HR that I was still listed for the job there.

I was just real about what happened and how I felt it was a done deal at USF. Dick said “hopes” don’t work with the business world, but numbers. I’ve always been provided for, and I guess I’ve seen this all my life, or more so, recognize it’s really “my life” to be provided for; and I shouldn’t question or anything, since it’s really just been so consistent.

I remember Kim’s story about the roof contractor who showed up the weekend before we closed, where the roof was required for closing, and I hadn’t even looked at it. Course, now I’m fumbling through all this technology wondering how I can get what I need done? It’s just not working for me. Like now I’m punching the tiny keys on my iPhone to get these words out, feeling this blog is my number one priority as well.

Once again it just seems so bizarre and astonishing to consider that my world and life is spinning around such trivia.

Yes we know Journalling for Jesus is really not trivia and really not something I even understand most of the time but I know it’s something I have to do and it never stops but grows more all the time!

that’s why you bring me here to write

OK, so I joined the ladies group, every Thursday I go to their class at Lisette’s house. Second or third class she said something about needing help with mass. I said I could help with anything but reading. So she offered to give me the training the next Tuesday after the men’s group.

I’ve done the service with mass now, four times. I guess the first was Thursday, with Father Kevin. And then Sunday with him again and Thursday again with Father Jonathan. Father Curtis sent me some Diocese classes to take regarding child, safety, and suicide prevention. I have no Wi-Fi at home so I’ve been in a coffee shop doing these the last couple days. I’m supposed to get fingerprinted, but I haven’t been able to get that done yet.

So last week, Todd mentioned in the men’s group that Mike’s wife Jesse was teaching a class. I knew Jesse runs the atrium for the church so I thought it might be related. I asked her about it as soon as I could and she sent me the details saying I needed to discus it with Father Curtis.

Course I have scheduled to see him today at 9am. And then Kevin will be here this morning for breakfast so I woke up really early. I have a big mess downstairs as I’ve been cleaning out my pantry. I had all these big heavy appliances on the top shelves, which was really stupid, so I’ve been cleaning it all out.

Then I finished the classes Fr Curtis gave me and started on the stuff from Jessie yesterday and it all hit me, that’s all I’ve ever done. 

Yes? Child safety, suicide, sex and such was all the things I survived to prepare for my own kids who walked into it all intentionally. Then my kids were raised in Jesus like the Atrium programs talks about. So it’s all stuff I’ve done and seen already!

So it’s more intimidating than ever. I’m so lucky I can talk about it with Kevin before I see Fr. Curtis. But still what am I gonna say, what am I gonna do?

Of course that’s why you bring me here to write!

making progress on so much

2:44 Mon Jun 10, 2023

I get so very annoyed with this technology crap, I wish I could just scribble on paper again…. But all the scanners are not quick enough, nor do I ever stay in the same place long and stable enough for it to get out like you need.

This never works consistently. I'm always having to edit and revise this.  If it’s going to use AI, then it needs to get better faster, and stop reverting to dead crap we have fixed before. I have been happy with using chrome to blog in blogger. But I've not been able to keep a live link very long, so it really gets so frustrating.

Dear Jesus, if you get me up in the middle of the night to write, then you have to make these annoying tools more effective, and consistent. Yes, I know I can talk to it as well. But that can be so annoying too, because it shifts my experience. When I type, I’m always hitting the wrong keys anyways, and sometimes it corrects and sometimes it doesn’t. So that’s wicked annoying too, especially when I reread and see stupid errors like “connects,” instead of “corrects” here above. But then when I hand write, it only gets so many words correctly, and then there’s something missing or wrong that it takes 20 minutes to fix. This voice activated stuff works pretty good sometimes, but I also need to be able to just keep talking. It keeps sticking these periods in the middle of the sentences, but then they disappear. I hate having to say that word all the time, “period,” yes i said “period,” keep the fucken dot there please. And if I pause, and then continue talking, shouldn’t it make the period into a coma instead so I can complete the thought. 

. . . . This voice activated stuff works pretty good sometimes but I also need to be able to just keep talking. Keep sticking these periods in the middle of the sentences but then they disappear. I hate having to say that word all the time… I guess I just need to practice more , I guess I just need to practice more . . . . Now why did it put in the same phrase in twice, I have no idea. Yes the stupid app put the same phrase in twice, and I’m not deleting it now. I guess maybe I say duplicate and it comes out again. I’m sure there’s a Help video somewhere, but then I have to find it. Of course, there’s no Wi-Fi, so I couldn’t download it even if I did find it. 

Call Ken Steinke be writing about

So I guess what I need to be writing about. 

I said the same words twice there, the top line with ‘kin’ was what it came out with! Which totally disgusts me. Like Steve Jobs is rolling over in his grave to hide, disgusted and appalled that the AI-Bots we created to get more data out quicker, are now working more to confuse the data and misprint, misguide, misdirect all those that follow each keystroke. It’s really pathetic that it’s come this far, and it is only gettin worse now as we get to the finish line. Yes, I just wrote this all into a feedback report to apple, and I’m trying to link both the watches and video clips and everything. 

Yes, I’m still annoyed, as it’s like pulling teeth to ever get real feedback to them, and forget about any replies, they have no clue what we’re doing anyway . . . . even though we’ve been consistent and progressing strong since 1982. . . Oh before that? Wow.w.w.w.w

4:00:00am. Yesterday was totally incredible.

I got up at five as usual. Started with the Exodus app and went downstairs to get a cuppa coffee. Did the 12 sit-ups, 12 push-ups, 12-20pound lift squats, 12-10pound on the arm out, 12-10 little curls, and then 12-10 up over my head. Listened to the Exodus twice, and then started Pastor John’s sermon. I grabbed my Mangrove-tool, Strapped it to my bike, grab my helmet and took off.

Riding to the beach at North Shore and I picked up a big palm branch in the road. And I took it down to the one old mangrove that I had tried to save. By the time I got to the park, I had picked up a few other branches to add to my palm branch. When I got to the mangrove and it had been killed. No concrete bricks around as if somebody has been down there to big foot prints, yes smashing in the poor little mangrove.

I was all but crying when I saw it and know it was the same big boots that had smashed my other mangroves.  So I swam and didn’t really plant or do anything. All the branches I collected I put there next to the group of trees that’s still surviving. I wonder if they are trying to wipe out all those too. Of course the one bunch up at 26th Ave N are going really great.

So I swam and the road over to mass. Of course when I got there I had forgotten about the time completely, and heard the bells ringing as I plugged in my bike. Opps I’m supposed to be dressed and ready to serve when the bells ring. 

I ran over to the front of the church and Father Jonathan was there ready to do the mass. Cool, so I told him I’d get the cross and be with him in a second. He really had no idea what I was talking about. I told him how awesome it was to get back into my regular mass, swim, bike and exercise routines as I had before Exodus. . . And then ran off to get ready.

I was fumbling with my leather sandals and finally just kicked them off knowing Fr. Jonathan could care less. But they told me to get them anyway, so I ran back to get them. Now they didn’t like me running around. But as usual I was all excited like a little kid, trying to get things together to work right. They had three kids there helping anyway, so I really wasn’t needed, but we had planned for me to be there so I made sure I was there.

When it was all done, I was so embarrassed I ran out as quickly as I could. I thought for sure I’d be fired again. I did get a email from Father Curtis, but that was about background checks and all. Oh great, that will get me kicked-out too. Then Mary wanted me to come see her Tuesday as well, so she could go over all the things I did wrong and that they were still keeping me on the schedule to help.

8:23 Wed Jun 12

Today, I found out Apple finally is releasing IOS 18 which will include all kinds of AI features built into Siri.  I got another 20TB hard drive so I can get everything locked in my safety deposit box. So now I’ve got all these copies running. Then I was thinking these new AI apps will be doing more of what I’ve been asking it to do. I mean they seem to have added a dozen things that I've been asking for. It’s really kinda weird again, as I just sent them this big long notice. I got all the data from both watch’s and the iPhone. . . Not sure if I got the iPad as well, but wanted them to get the data, and pictures, and videos and all together.

Yes again, they haven’t figured out the Workout app yet, but they are making progress on so many other things. It was kinda cool, as I was watching the WDC apple show I got the feeling that they built a new Beta App for me to program my website development. Like it’s going to give me all the tools and features I need to start publishing more and more quickly. . . Lol, even now when I have NO Wi-Fi!

We agreed how the end of the world

Wonderful weekend, again , , , 

I had Jonny over for dinner last night. It was wonderful of course. I thought it was funny how he invited himself for steak and wine. I certainly had invited him countless times, but thought it was odd how he made his request with a specific date and time. I asked him to bring the wine and I had planned to make a great meal for us.

When he arrived, he had brought wine and steaks; and corn on the cob, and broccoli, and garlic bread, with all the spices and such ready to cook the whole meal for us. Of course, I already had steaks seasoned, and cut onions and mushrooms ready to go. I added his cut onions, peppers and cilantro. Then put out some chili heated with melted cheese to nibble with nacho chips.

Yea I heated that up a few times to melt the cheddar cheese I put into it. 

He asked if I had Todd, Kevin and the men’s group over again. So I told him the nacho’s and chili were part of the meal we had on Wednesday with the Welcome Team. And then I called Kevin on the phone, to invite his family for a steak dinner knowing we had enough there for his family as well.

Yea, I got an answering machine and hung up. Catching him randomly open for something has happened before, but not then. Jon and I had a great meal and great conversation. We spoke about all that Jesus had done for us, and where we were growing and challenged. 

We agreed how the end of the world and greed is crashing more and more all around us. He still is studying the Bible so much more than me, and mentioned some signs of this Change. Like the persecution of Christians. . . . I told him how I will randomly browse through the Twitter Feed (X) and how I saw something about how the Moslems are taking over France. The majority of people there are now Moslems, and so the increased crimes are Moslems killing Christians and Jews.

Yea, I explained how I spent the day replanting my seed table. Yea, I’m still cleaning my backyard moving the stuff all around my deck. So I redid all my seed beds, feeling like I was teaching Urban Agriculture to the surviving people here wondering where their next meal will come from. . . Even recording a video for Sal to tell him how great the steal mixer he made for me works. . .