seemed kind of weird that talking

After my last post, I commented on it about the tears that jumped out at me. In 2008 or so, Kimberly taught me how to cry again. I didn’t realize how significant that was until I was watching The Chosen this week. Yes, I watched from season two through to four. I noticed that whenever there was a piece where the words came right out of the Bible, it put me into tears.

Yes, my body would naturally break down into tears when I heard versus directly from the Bible. Of course, the whole series put The Bible into the context that I’ve never experienced before, but to have that intimate connection with the actual Words was incredible.

I Recognized this deeper connection, that I never understood before. I’m not sure if I understand it yet. But I certainly understand there’s a very deep intimacy between me and Jesus.

I never realized that it was something so special. Or I guess I never realized exactly who I shared my space with. I’ve always been in the same place.  And I’ve always known I was sharing, But I’m getting deeper and stronger realizations all the time.

I also recognize that there’s some level of responsibility and accepting some ability.  Which I know includes the writing and editing that I seem to do daily now. I’ve always known I could make things happen, and understanding what that means and why it Is something new?

As weird as it seems, last week I met Paster John for breakfast again. His YouTube videos are in the hundreds now,I since Covid and our first conversation over breakfast. I told him he needed to expand it now and start blogging or linking the videos to more of the written work he’s done. He clearly loved the idea and began explaining many pages of research and details he’s developed teaching Bible parables and other scenarios over his 30 years of preaching.

As weird as it sounds, he even started in Smithtown Long Island, where my cousins live. Of course, then I told him of other videos and preachers that I’ve recorded over the years too. I’ve got hundreds of hours of video that I’ve not even posted yet. I told him my first journal page was dated 1977 and publishing with advertisements and marketing was something I needed to start doing. Helping him with these things I’ve already done seemed great for both of us.

Last night, I had this powerful dream of being with somebody again. Yes, An intimate relationship with another woman. I was scheduled to go see Cathy today so I’m sure that’s what inspired it. What was weird about it was that I had been watching The Chosen all week so it was like I had been there with Mary or Martha who are Lazarus sisters in The Chosen, that look like Kathy and Marianne. Of course, having a Fat Ram again, wouldn’t surprise me at all. But to see this so vividly like being there in The Chosen was kinda weird. Uhg, I noticed I always say “weird” and it’s really “Incredible” or “Wonderful,” and it’s just happens so much I felt weird saying wonderful, super, great, and such all the time. . .  lol. . .  Yes, I’m literally “laughing out loud” to myself. 

I was so happy to see Cathy today, and we talked about how she’s finally retired and was cleaning things out getting ready to move on. I told her I was surprised we hadn’t gotten married because she was so wonderful with my children. She didn’t want to talk about my kids. I told her how all the pictures I had of the awesome experiences we had were pictures that she took… Cathy just laughed. She never knew my mother, but she wanted to take me to the Latin Mass. Evidently, the pope in Rome wants to prevent Latin mass at Catholic churches, and there’s only a few places that still do it. 

As incredible as it was, the place she took me to, to watch the Latin mass was within a mile of my old house in Seminole Heights, where we had raised my kids and lived for over 30 years.  She is still struggling to clear her karma and get healthy and strong, but told me talking about the children was reliving the past, that was done and gone now. That seemed kind of weird that talking about something wonderful and joyful wasn’t as important as resolving pains and suffering still trapped inside of her…. Yeah, that seems totally backwards to me!

We had breakfast and she told me about another church filled with over 700 Saint artifacts or “relics”… Course I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded neat so we went to see that too. .

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