Friday, June 6, 2025

112.2 SEEL imagination to see my place with Spirit Better

 I am starting again with the last days of SEEL with Imaginative Prayers, I need to get deeper into this Image I’ve been exploring . . . Learning more and stepping into know God Better. It’s important to step into this more clearly. As the idea of imagining the direct personal time with Jesus with His birth, and now stepping beyond this to Stand in the presence of the Glory of God. Knowing that His Love and Spirit seeks to live and express through my life. . . My experience, my now, here as we can see and visualize deeper experiences and imagine a deeper stronger expression of Jesus living through me this very moment before you. . . . Wow!

Feeling deeper into my understanding and experience is really the whole point of this lesson. I've always had a very powerful imagination, where I can step into another time and space really easily and I can really be there in some sense. I've noticed my ability to empathize with other people is really strong too.  And now I realize I’ve really never read much, and avoided books because I put myself into these places and am always feeling deeply into people too much, especially when the books are creating sin and deceptions. I’ve felt guilty for never reading anything, but suddenly I now understand why. It’s a good thing I’ve avoid this culture of greed and deception. I mean, I can feel something from a car driving by, “oh that lady is feeling this”. . . . so to put this all into a book might have really been too much for me . . . Uhg, maybe it’s time to read the Bible!

I have always been able to easily feel the pain and struggle of people around me. This is interesting to get the idea in Day 6 of letting go of a place or a scene of being there with Jesus during HIS Birth, to simply be in the presence of God, to fully sense and experience this moment Of HIM Holding onto this simple divine moment I am writing about, just to “BE” and fully engage in this silent Peace and Joy of God.

This seems very familiar to me now as in the last week or so, I recognized the feeling and experienced how God shares in the warmth of my heart whenever I Pray with others. I’ve noticed this at church too. Where I get the very powerful warmth in my heart. I notice this at events during the day too, EVEN with the Prayerline calls I do Fridays and Sundays.

Recognizing more of this singular experience, knowing that my solitude and peace its about accepting that I have more time to Honor God. Jesus here with Mary and Joseph, help me to align my will with Yours for the glory of God in the name of Jesus, Amen.

This brings me back to day one:  
But again stepping into God’s Wisdom and Glory to recognize that there is something about my past that I buried. And instead of finding and forgiving some karma, I’ve been caught into these obstacles of Doubt and Fear.

This is really so powerful for me, as I realize now how my dad will be here .. tomorrow and my son has lost it yesterday. And now again in my space and time the random experience of sharing God’s Beauty and Love, in His Son dying to share and teach whatever could be next for me. And suddenly, I have this typo “Ely,” and see my mother name? Of course, I couldn’t erase or correct this. . .

Why is my mom showing up for me now? Could it be to understand  more about why I feel lost in doubt and fear about some karma I have hidden deep down inside . . . about my mom. Yes, “About my Mom?”
Yes, so my mom, showed up again this morning  (June 6, 2025 8am Mass). When I first joined the church, I was working again for a time, and they said they needed to buy new hymnals. Wow, so I gave them $444.44 for new hymnals… yes like I always give to the JoyFm, since Madison was born 4/4. . . So this morning was the first time I saw any hymnals with my mom’s name on it. I mean, even a thousand hymnals, I figured 5 or 10 might have my mom’s name, and I would see it sooner or later.

but to see it today! This morning? What? What did I miss now?  What is she teaching me now?

Roy was sitting in front of me. So I had to show it to him. I mean, I just couldn’t believe it. Taking pictures or writing about it is one thing. But no one believes anything anymore, with the AI-bots making videos of people talking and all sorts of made-up crap everywhere. So I wanted him to see it, just so he could confirm to me that I wasn’t seeing things . . . 

Yes, he read it and recognized what it was, commenting about it later at our men’s prayer meeting.  When Scott heard about it, he commented about seeing my Exodus Fraternity Group post asking for the brothers to help me find one of the hymnals with her name on it.

Of course, I just started to cry there in church. Yes,  tears rolling down my face during Mass. And I had to snap pictures and send things out. Like I realized I had tried to talk to Sharon about this trauma I’ve found hidden in me. I knew I needed it pursue this initial instinct speaking with Sharon. I'm really not sure what she can share and explain to me, but I recognize that if this is my instinct, then there is something real here for me to pursue. 

I guess it might be something with Chris too. So now I guess it's all about getting real about my own imagination and visions of Christ Jesus, and my own son.  I wonder when I first considered having a child?


Repeated from Mass this morning... Of course now I know I need to step into something for my mom.  And now I remember sending all her grandkids the Rosary for Christmas one year, and now I wonder if it was about these Holy Women trying to reach my son who was spinning out of control…


I found this picture that my dad wrote on. Yes, that's my dad's handwriting on the top. This is the back of one of the many pictures I made for my mom that was returned to me. I added all the other dates so I could keep track of everyone in the family. I’ve not had any real relationship with any of them.

Well of course not, since my dad always had contempt for me, why would any of my siblings have anything other than contempt. Of course, they all had some excuse about me being a blacksheep or a trouble maker.

Of Course, the reality is something that I only learned about years later. I realized how the Waldwick Police always ignored me, or simply refused to arrest me, because they saw My dad's belt swinging at me in the parking lot before we even left the police staton. Of course. I was trapped in the moving car front seat next to him, and really couldn't hide, run, escape or even protect myself. So I'm sure this was one of the many times that I had belt marks across my face. . . I never considered what a policeman would think seeing this . . . Which became obvious years later!

What was more bizarre than anything, was that my dad picked me up at the police station while I was still in middle school. Like not even a teenager yet. Then the police avoided me. I could see them watching me, almost like they were spying on me, just to see what they would let me get away with next. At least until I was 19 or 20 diving my rabbit through town, drunk . . . .

Yes, that was when I learned about it. The cop pulled me over. Drunk, speeding, avoiding arrest . . . Wow, he could have locked me up. But no!  “Eric is that you, do you know what your Father will do to you if I arrest you again?” And then he asked if any one else could drive. And the other kid in the backseat drove us home . . . One of my friends who did not even have a drivers license . . . Of Course, it was years later before I realized what had actually happened.  I mean my friends were perplexed that any cop would let a drunk go, especially when I turned off my headlights and sped-up when I saw his flashing lights behind me. But then no tickets, no arrest, and all but an escort home . . He was terrified of what would happen to me. The police would have nothing to do with my father’s insane violence and abuse that would bring jail time if witnessed today.

Course I wonder now, if my experiences here had something to do with the laws changing. . . 

six clear steps for unlocking the door of forgiveness. 

1. Find someone you trust to pray with you. It helps if this person is spiritually mature. Look for someone who has suffered as a Christian and been made stronger for it; someone you know has had to forgive; someone with whom you feel safe. This same person may assist you in responding to the message of the next three chapters. 

2. Begin to praise God and thank Him. “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise” (Psalm 100:4). Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you. 

3. When you sense His presence, consider Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Acknowledge His love and His power. As a believer you have identified with Him, you have given Him your life and your life has been hidden in Him. The Holy Spirit lives in you. Areas where you have not forgiven are areas you have not surrendered to the One who loves you. Pray out loud, “Lord Jesus, please forgive me for trying to save my life, for not trusting you.” Humble yourself.

 4. Remember the words of Jesus: “Father forgive them— they know not what they are doing.” These are eternal words, and He has given them to you. The Eternal One is willing to release the power of those words again through you. 

5. Think of the person who hurt you and what that person did. Let yourself feel the pain. Forgiveness takes a deeper hold on us as we forgive from the place of pain. To say you forgive while denying the pain does not deal with the root. Once you have gotten in touch with the pain, say out loud: “In the name of Jesus, I forgive __________ for _______.” Say the name of the person or describe the person (the man with the dark jacket who attacked me outside of my home two years ago). Then be very specific in what you are forgiving the person for. There are at least two reasons to say it out loud. First, it helps you focus and keeps you from being vague. Second, you can listen to yourself. You can tell if you are being real or not. If you trust the person praying with you, you may ask him or her to help you be specific. If that person has discernment or empathy, he or she may be able to give you words that help you. For example, “I forgive _______ for humiliating me and rejecting me and making me feel worthless.” Have your friend pray that the love of God would release you and make you a vessel of His love. Repeat these steps if others come to your mind whom you need to forgive. If you have difficulty speaking declarations of forgiveness, try speaking to the Lord about your hurt and pain. Let Him lead you to the place of forgiveness. He will. I suggested this to Lydia, who did not believe she could forgive her parents or even say the words. I asked her to tell Jesus how angry and hurt she was. She later told me she tried to say, “I don’t want to forgive them,” but instead the words “I forgive my parents” came out. As she prayed, God worked through her. Upon saying the words she began to weep and express sorrow that her parents were never loved and did not know any better. “I realized how miserable they were,” she said, glimpsing their own pain for the first time. 2 Ask God to bring others to your mind. One or two is plenty to start with, since you need to be willing to touch the pain. (You may find that you need to take the next step of renunciation, which is found in the next chapter.) Remember, we should not ask for more than we are willing to give. With every blessing God brings into our life comes the responsibility to use it in accordance with His plan for us. 

6. Give thanks to God for His goodness, and ask Him to direct your paths. Use your newfound freedom to love someone in a practical way. The fruit of forgiveness is love.


Tuesday, June 3, 2025

112.1 SEEL imaginations into the birth of Jesus. . . ❤️💞😇👍

I pray with You Jesus for me to Be All you have prepared me for. 

    • Jesus has taken care of me since

      Covid. He has really ALWAYS protected me. But after Covid it has really been incredible, as I got a job, just when I needed a new bike or to hire an attorney…but then set free!
    • Today I learned I’ve buried something you know about:
    • https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/improve-yourself-improve-your-relationships/
      • I’m not yet sure what it includes. But I know I need to Forgive my family!?!?
    • https://www.intouch.org/listen/radio/forgiving-one-another-part-3
      • Yes these two podcasts . are on every morning 5-6am on TheJoyFM.com … it is always on point .for everything in my life. These verses and lessons are always so strong for me. And I step into this, knowing how God has been leading me into more and more every day into something more.
      • I’m doing the Prayerline again 4-5am Wds, Fr & Sn

And of course, I keep reading into my prayer books this morning. I always start with these Podcasts, and then open my daily readings, which include the Consecration to St Joesph book and this, that I get every month now. 

Of course, this is where I got the Hebrew verse, posted above. But again stepping into God’s Wisdom and Glory to recognize that there is something about my past that I buried. And instead of finding and forgiving some karma, I’ve been caught into these obstacles of Doubt and Fear. 

This is really so powerful for me, as I realize now how my dad will be here .. tomorrow and my son has lost it yesterday. And now again in my space and time the random experience of sharing God’s Beauty and Love, in His Son dying to share and teach whatever could be next for me. And suddenly, I have this typo “Ely,” and see my mother name? Of course, I couldn’t erase or correct this. . . 

Why is my mom showing up for me now? Could it be to understand why I feel lost in doubt and fear about some karma I have hidden deep down inside about my mom.  Yes, “About my  Mom?”

And yes I can write and share more carefully and more focused than ever. Of course, this does not have the beauty and pizzazz that can be found in my handwritten text, but this is autocorrected, typed perfectly and spelled correctly which allows easier reading and understanding. Even when my words are really scribbled here very sloppy most all the time.

I confess, I struggle to stay slow and focused all the time. It's really a challenge for me. And I do realize that “slow and steady” really works better for math and spelling and all sorts of things that I do, and like to do. Like making this blog sing with clarity and focus, comes better with slow steady writing, especially with my pen. I often wonder how can I possibly continue to move forward when there seems to be an onslaught of chaos before me each day.

This is where I need to start in the next section of my SEEL work. Making the transition to express the deeper imagination experiences that I have . . . It’s really where I always am, seeing and feeling things sorta beyond everything around me. It’s really like I’m  never alone, always feeling, hearing, and imagining some collective of angels around me. It’s really neat as any name that comes up, I’ll see their face, and get comforted. Just like a second ago when I typed my mom’s name “Ely,” and instantly I felt her along with other mother figures, Joyce, Dawn, Joni, Jesus, and even St. Mary all here flashing looks and images before me as if they all came to visit.

Just typing “saint” brought the feeling and imagery of Saint Michael, where I’d see his sword of protection around us all. I guess it’s really cool for me, as I visualize it all at once, together. Very different images and people flashing in concert as each name comes and goes in my minds eye.

Then the assignment in Ignatian Imaginative Prayers is to imagine the Birth of Jesus and the trip of Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem, which is now in synchronous to the Exodus Readings, which included this prayer so intimate and clear for me in this moment: 

Let us remember that we are in the loving presence of God. Trust in his mercy as you come close to him today. Take one minute of silence now, praying for God’s blessing on you, your family, fraternity, and all Exodus Men.

I am created to do something or to be something for which no one else is created; I have a place in God’s counsels, in God’s world, which no one else has; whether I be rich or poor, despised or esteemed by man, God knows me and calls me by my name. I have my mission. Somehow, I am necessary for His Purposes. I have a part in this Great Work; I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good, I shall do His Work. O Lord, I give myself to Thee. I trust Thee wholly. Deign to fulfill Thy High Purposes in me whatever they be—work in and through me. I am born to serve Thee, to be Thine, to be Thy instrument. Amen.

Great is your mercy, O Lord; give me life according to your justice. 

What we have here now is you stepping more strongly into this spiritual experience, more and more each day. You were able to exercise today and yesterday, but not yet bike, swim or Sun today. The exercises were all at least 20 reps each, and it was one of your best times to stay in silence. You are always discounting these completely unique experiences that you are able to complete. Like moments ago, you received a Kim note from the Apple Pic App, and you sent the newly found “WHAT IF” letter that you wrote last year. This was from an exercise with your Welcome Team. Then you also shared this note with your son and daughter. These events are very significant and truly remarkable. 

I was so surprised to see something so strong and specific for Kimberly with her Birthday Notes still warm, 5/30. And I immediately FLASHED to her being here with me again, restored to her position and I was very quick and direct doing everything she suggested. We were in the Prayer and Light with Jesus moving forward together in Spirit. We accepted all the gifts and blessings before us, ready to step more fully into training and supporting everyone we met. Just as God directed us from the very beginning. You see, everything I “Flash” into is like seeing the Mozart Picture on the wall, and each second I imagine and look at it, it becomes a live video bringing more and more details in the first little picture I see. Of course, as I write again now, the FLASH of Kim has grown to include the grant job at SPC that I interviewed for last week. We were training teachers, healing professionals, bringing more focus and direction to the city youth. It was an incredible moment of synchronicity where the moment of creation was real and apparent for all of us.
We always love when you FLASH into a new more powerful vision of creation as it evolves before your eyes. And again you need to add these experiences into your story and make it full and complete. Having the pretty and important words is perfect, but the links are missing and are needed. The Examples and dynamics that you experienced, and know, and understand also need to be present and clear throughout your presentation.
I was so delighted to fall into this experience as I consider the SEEL Day 1 Lessons Luke 2:1-7 about the Love and Glory of Joseph and Mary traveling through the dessert and mountains to Bethlehem for the birth of our Savior. The challenges through the terrain are incredible compared to the pushing of this keyboard that I am complaining about now. And now I see a crack completely accross this screen before me. No excuse to feel sorry for myself, as the extreme bizarre experience I feel is how much Jesus Leads me to now, testing and training me to be slow and patient. And how Joseph and Mary felt, as if anything could be expressed or shared beyond our understanding. There is no comparison here. Nothing I have been challenged with this week or month or year could compare.

My first feeling and insight with Joseph and Mary, was how God explained Creation to me with e=mc2, where at any moment their next steps taken forward could be onto clouds, that carried them miles in a moment. Then I know they stopped to rest. And I could feel the wild animals bringing them food and comfort on their trip. Suddenly water bubbling up before them, where the hot spring bubbles up into a perfect rounded foot pool next to a stone smoothed out as a seat. How Blessed the whole experience would be to share in these moments with God, sharing the love and divine life passing through this very moment with us. Trusting and loving God this moment as we move forward, how wondrous must it have been for Joseph and Mary to travel so far with God.
Take your time with this. You have the ability to see and understand so much more. The concept of energy and matter being in a state of flux, where one moment they are struggling with steps on hard stone, and the very next moment they step onto a puffy white cloud that carries them away. These conceptions and imagination is simply beyond anything on Earth. Your direct personal experience with these things provide you a very unique and powerful experience. Like you have frequently had experiences where time stands still, and many more that you still refuse to discuss.

Yes, I was stunned to read this passage from Luke now as it ends with the facts of their experience that there was no guest room available to them. And this mirrors my immediate experience completing my website describing the gifts of God (actual guest rooms that I offer here) that I am able to share in my home.  I am making every effort to define each shared space and how much I can provide with it. And now again I am challenged to include all the experiences of my Journey to share Christ, where this whole life and all these gifts are part of His plan.
What is more powerful than anything is how strong you are moving forward to share these gifts anyway you can possibly do it. Now again accepting that the hand motions of your pen are as fundamental to this experience as each new revelations coming to you.

I now return to SEEL Day Two to repeat the exercise of “imagining into” the birth and light of Christ Jesus in the manger. And I'm an ANT, with front row seats. Watching the love of angels and royalty sharing the blessing of the awesome light.
We delight in sharing this light with you as you step more strongly forward. Son remain fearless, you are always in the right place at the right time, you have been perplexed by the graces received over and over again. And now more than ever you are suspended by love and Grace, be at peace and keep moving forward.

I started today with my cracked and damaged iPad Pro and now again I'm on my iPad. I reread and revised and repaired my written work here to get clarity and focus. And I have revised and fixed my story and website that I've been working on simultaneously. So now I'm able to review and continue with my SEEL work, where the next verses from the Bible are about how beautiful and awesome God is. How the lowly poor shepherds are given the greatest blessing and benefit to have this experience with the angels.

I find it interesting how the book says he is surrounding himself with people. I would say more that Jesus seeks the poor and even avoids people. He is always trying to share with the sick and destitute, which is more beyond and away from the people. Yes, in fact I would say that Jesus seeks more the outcasts and those pushed away from the people.

I guess what was interesting to me again here when I considered the Lectio Divina for DAY 3 Luke:2 8-20 and really consider the words and phrases that struck strongly with me. . . I notice that I first highlighted them singing “Glory to God in the Highest.”

And I feel that this is my perfect phrase for today. As it’s all exactly as the Lord has told me about . . . Which I continue to ponder in my heart: I knew I had to get back into my Exodus Habits, and started the Day with Exodus App, then heard FamilyFocus and Charles Stanley as I did my 20 reps with the weights and all. I knew I had to ride my bike to catch the Sunrise at 6:34 today and started out as Stanley was finishing. I knew I had to swim too, and when I got to Coffeepot with the Mangrove’s and it was only 10 after six. So I parked and walked in the water thinking I might swim before, instead of after the Sunrise.

I Picked up some trash and then back on my bike down to the volleyball courts where I could sit out on the pier there. Watching the busy birds chirping at me from all directions. Course, it was a cloudy morning and I thought maybe I would go back and swim instead. So I stretched and got myself doing circles and feeling deep into the Earth. Until I saw the first little break of Sunshine over the clouds and got into my prayers. About halfway through the Sun was out strong, so I did my first cycle all the way through. When I was done the Sun was full and clear above the clouds so I did The Lords Prayer again allowing the Sun deep into my eyes having this wonderful light and beauty filling my heart again now!

Now again in this next Bible Verse for DAY  4 Matthew 2:1-12 I was caught by the direct experiences with God, and the beauty and blessing of being filled with His Light. I really felt that this morning out with the Sun myself. But reading this now, I could imagine how the Star they followed would seemingly be sitting on the stable He was in. Like as if it were this giant street light right above the door in the eyes of the Magi. 

Of course, king harod likely couldn’t see the star at all, or certainly not distinguish one from another. While the Magi were blessed with dreams of God visiting them in additional to the wonders of the fruit of the spirit in this moment filled with joy and peace. As I imagine the moment of divinity they shared seeing the body Jesus, it must have been like staring deep into the center of the star... Recognizing that they are marveling at a child, but the radiance and beauty of the All Mighty is so much more.

I am reminded of my own experience saying the Lords Prayer this morning as the sun shown deep into my soul. I love doing my Yoga with the sunrise and the beauty of God all around me. I always want to jump right in the water next! Now DAY  5 with Isaiah 52:7-10

To consider this verse with the nativity scene is like really amplifying my last few words. To see the beauty and majesty of God, who reigns overall in this incredible moment of light and salvation. Where all this majesty comes together in the star of the birth of Christ. . . . like the Earth and the sunrise in my one moment with Christ this morning. . . Wow all the ends of creation coming back in on top of itself in my wonder of this moment!

I always have the sense that His second coming was at Pentecost and that he sent his Holy Spirit to live with us now. So there’s not anything else coming, but it all is about us following through with here and now, being real about Christ living here with us now. I always feel like the revelation in the end of times is more of a story about everybody else who doesn’t choose to live with Jesus now! It’s all God wrath on those foolish enough to miss the boat!

Thursday, May 22, 2025

111.1 SEEL He has not created me for naught

Finishing week of Prayer #11. . . Page 132: The Ignatian Adventure 
DAY 5: Read Luke 1:39-56 (Mary visits Elizabeth). Again, use your imagination to pray with this scene. Notice how God saves within a particular family. Marvel at how God needs the help of these gracious women to "work the redemption of the human race" (SE 107) Pray Mary's Magnificat with her, in a spirit of joy.

Wow, this really hit home for me now. I’ve been leaning on several “gracious women” more than ever this week. Even now as I’m challenged by my son again, my daughter is sharing some common sense. I’ve always been so blessed with my children.  And I know they have a powerful place with Jesus because I went through so much to get them here, working with them. . . . Wow, half my life was all for them. I mean, Maryanne had an abortion while I was in High School. She was in college to become a nurse, so when she got a positive pregnancy test, her and a girlfriend went and “took care of it” before she ever told me anything. 

That has since freaked me out more than ever. But she would get pregnant every month and was anxious to keep our child. But raising a child was not something I could do so causally . . . . And it was very clear to me there was a child ready to come to me. So when my dad said college in Florida, it was an unexpected solution. So 4-5 years of college and it was time for babies. . . 

What a crazy story to get into now. I’m sure I’ve shared it hundreds of times. Each time it seems to get shorter and more focused. 

So now what does this really mean. I certainly was singing the Magnificat when Colleen got pregnant. Lol, I remember now that for years I spelled the names wrong so no one would really know who I was talking about so Neelloc was a young healthy mother . . . . Just what I needed after losing babies before. Course I played with Emily too much before she was born, and got her all wrapped up in the umbilical cord. . . Yes, and almost lost her, where she had it twice around her neck, turning her blue when the doctors pulled her out. 

DAY 6: Read Matthew 1:18-25 (Joseph's dream). God again relies on human freedom and cooperation to save us in our need. Be with Joseph as he generously and courageously responds to God's calling him to become a husband and father. Hear how the angel comforts Joseph, telling him not to be afraid, just as the angel Gabriel urged Mary. Love dispels all fear.

Wow, how are we stepping into the next level of our Spiritual Life. . . What does this next step look like.  Like praying with my tiny baby in the NICU. I guess I was listening to her Angels telling me how to pray and sing to the little baby.  So to read these bible versus and consider the experiences of Joseph as another called into action by God.  I’m sure we all get calls. Not always so clear and powerful. And Such Love always dispels all fears. 

DAY 7: Savor the graces of the week, or make a repetition of one of the previous Scripture passages. Undertake nothing without consulting God.
Considering the Angel Gabriel Bringing it back in my life and experience is where I’ve always been. Heal and freedom, will release, and forgive.

Touch opens the windows to the heart... so this is what I missed Christopher, you never learned the Christian morals: 

Please forgive me...  I chose


I am Sorry Chris, you were born as a man, and you came for a reason. Please don't give up on it, please keep looking and find this reason!

I am created to do something or to be something for which no one else is created; I have a place in God’s counsels, in God’s world, which no one else has; whether I be rich or poor, despised or esteemed by man, God knows me and calls me by my name. I have my mission. Somehow, I am necessary for his purposes. I have a part in this great work; I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good, I shall do his work. O Lord, I give myself to Thee. I trust Thee wholly. Deign to fulfill Thy high purposes in me whatever they be—work in and through me. I am born to serve Thee, to be Thine, to be Thy instrument. Amen.


This prayer above is the ending for the current Exodus 50 of Easter that our Fraternity of 50 or 60 respite every day. . . While there are nearly a hundred thousand men, worldwide who say this in support of each other . . . stranger still; many of these men are doing this for their family, children and sons in mind. . .  Exactly like I do.


Know Jesus will catch you if you fall... I came here to Tampa with the radio singing "God's Will" for me... I met Chuck from NJ, and we started stars...!

This morning joyFM said how he solved his headache, a large coke and fries from McDonalds.!?!??

Something about the strong salt and sugar clears the head, science messages of TikTok!

Holy shit, that's SATAN! Clear as day, oops wrong radio!?!?


Yes I am more than just sad, I'm worried. . . Terrified, freaking, struggling . . 



Yes I am more than just sad, I'm worried...

Yes Chris this is all about loving freely, exactly what I’m doing now in loving you and all God has Given to me... 

I LOVE ALL YOU four, just exactly the way you ARE🤣 which we can share and experience together. . . 

Like many of my posting here, Love and beauty will always BE true harmonic relationship together. . .  https://youtu.be/gbfWTlPt8mU

And these Challenges will come to us all, like when you were dropping out of USF to write music . . . No Arch Program means you never would have even met Claudia, but instead you got your only “D” and stayed in to the end

I’m trilled YOUR FAMILY helped you then. . . Like we are here again now trying to help you.

As weird as it might be, I’ve said this to my children hundreds of times. The wonder of meeting Chris for Pizza in the Andros Confeteria and his first random comment is “ I’m dropping out to write music” . . . And after not a single word for ten years, all I could do was say “WOW, that’s cool,” tell me about this. . . And we got into the deep discussion and experience of his trip to Europe with the Architecture Program. It was certainly a wonder to hear about this experience with Matthew and Linaea. Especially as it started in Ireland with Linaea driving a stick-shift out to a historic brewery to deliver an unknown package to a stranger; which resulted in an incredible meal and gift bags filled with liquors and chocolates.

There is a time and place for everything... and I love you and know where you are now, as you know I HAVE BEEN THERE, too!

Having the divine experience and responsibility to father, shepherd and guide anyway that I can. I’ve shared countless prayers, lessons, preachers, and podcasts from the great variety of places sharing the same fundamental truths of love and salvation. This has inspired loving responses from Half my children, while my son, the intended recipient, has since twisted and perverted my meaning into something else. I was thrilled with his first reply as posted here, asking where the “LOVE” is? As crazy as it seems, I even sent him a link I found on my server of my similar experiences I mentioned above. . . . Though like my comments below, he obviously doesn’t read of understand anything from me. . .  Of purse, now again I recall the Andros Cafeteria where he claimed he had read “ALL MY BLOGS” and wanted to know more about e=mc2. . . Affirming the reality of the presence of Jesus in US!

Making the Truth and Love in Christ Jesus is critical!  Like have you listened to any of these lessons, or witnessed how it changed my life?

Please, continue your search for Christ, instead of giving up on “who you already are.” You are Perfect now! 

Like your Challenge on Interstate 4 in Tampa. You slammed the steering wheel demanding your Purpose. 

And then another short phrase considered common-knowledge now. Where he was Baker-Acted to a hospital, while a drug induced accident would have been jail time instead. And the violent replies with all sorts of new perspectives on what these events were?  My own memory be dammed, as he’s never tried to correct me before, but suddenly I’m an old-senile fool and harassing him, instead of the loving father trying to review the experiences I’ve witnessed. So suddenly now he’s in complete control of his childish fantasies while these other times completely shifted the progress of his life. . . . And somehow my memory and description of what I heard and saw has been twisted to be events that I caused or influenced to bring changes in his life. Wow, retelling his experiences are now my fault? Or my works? Has the truth and love I see and share become so terrifying now that it needs to be twisted and perverted to mean something else.   

Immediately you found it, as seconds later you saved a girls life!!!!

Oh and adding this new insight, that came to me when I shared my challenges with my peers in the Exodus Fraternity. How it was clear to me Chris got what he wanted immediately, not only God’s protection through a crazy accident, but the humble and holy I’ve of the neighbor, or stranger in distress. . . Once again the immediate experiences being the holy communion and duties of Christ to “Love thy neighbor, as thyself” And I guess such a new realization that he actually got exactly what he was demanding might conflict with his personal fantasies that he is all alone and never benefitted from Christ, the Holy Ghost or God in anyway….Oh and he defines this as a “impulsive mistake made under-the-influence”  or a drug-induced blunder of no meaning or bearing. . . Again discounting one of many traumatic experiences of divine guidance which saved his ass to bring him forward for the Service and Glory of God in his destiny. . .  

Now: 

Living in fear & guilt creates your bondage, is never knowing real forgiveness and confession to heal


Walk in light of God, confess sins and accept blood of Christ  to release, remit, cancel debt of Sin to Share in God's Holy Pure Light...


Even Moses took off his shoes, releasing sin to accept the pure holy light you seek

John 1:9




Thursday, April 24, 2025

110.1 SEEL WEEK OF PRAYER #10: God's MERCIFUL Love FOR ME

DISCERNMENT: really feels like actively seeking the deeper meanings and holistic understandings for everything combined in our interior AND exterior LIFE EXPERIENCE . . . INCLUDING the deeper interior "experiences" of understanding, insight, imagination, visualization, seeing, (( I SEE YOU )) hearing, feeling, knowing, guessing, accepting, perceiving and imagining . . . Like the full human experience. NOW I SUDDENLY flash back to the concept of the Unity Method Patent, (( which I cut and pasted into here in seconds )) it is defined by the “Perceptive View of God.” Yes, God’s Perspective, or God's Perceptions with the basic understanding that all is love; as energy and matter are always in flux with unity (( IN LOVE )) as a primary focus . . . All life benefits from increased cohesion, cooperation, and compatibility . . . In Love, As Love and For Love . . . Where the action of Loving, produces the noun of Love through the verb Love experienced!

And suddenly, I have a new insight into the experience of Evolution . . . Every moment I grow and learn more . . . It is simply part of my experience . . . Except that everybody has their own limited perception. Then tonight I recognized that my own perceptions have been enhanced by requesting “His Perception.” Yes, or I really demanded it, as a condition for me to return to Earth. Stepping beyond the material and physical experience with a lot of people to the simple realization and understanding that UNITY inevitably will result in better experience for all.  Better understanding leads to Better Immediate experiences . . . It’s really about recognizing that the fruit of the spirit is love. The Spirit of the Love brings the Fruit of Love!!! Love brings us a fuller experience. Love brings a fuller understanding. Love brings coherency and evolution. I can step beyond the physical limitations of a social structure that are completely irrelevant. Choosing to step into the deeper meaning of power founded in love to Bring greater personal intimacy and joy.

Yes, as above so it is below. 1:45 4/25/2025 and I'm pulled to write again, still . . . Like when I see the beauty of my granddaughter and children with pretty numbers I always snap a screenshot to write another Love note. It's always such a joy to share the love of the moment. Yes, it's a challenge to keep up with it all, but I'm always in Joy.

DAY 1: Read 2 Corinthians 12:5-10 So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Can you recall times when you have felt such power, such indwelling of Christ in your life?

Yes, I have found clear comfort and blessings knowing that Christ protects me and carries me forward to do and achieve as only God could imagine. I've never boasted about my challenges and weakness, even avoided discussing and exploring these issues. I have discovered and understood more and more over time. When I read this bible verse and contemplate, I remember all the trauma and chaos I witnessed even when I was not in trouble. The insight was that I had come full circle again, where my trauma and experiences were all to the Glory of GOD, where this weakness becomes strong in His love and support.


DAY 2: Read Luke 18:9-14 Can you relate to the Pharisee? The tax collector? Who would you rather be? And again I relate more to the tax collector, the outcast, the spectator, looking or watching from the back of the room. And now as I wrote this feeling more connected and guided to join in the experiences first hand. Shifting to where I belong instead of always being the outsider who is not good enough to join in and “CHOOSING” to participate with all the others. As again last night with the LifeTeen group at church, I realize how I “could really” greet and chat with everyone there, as I’ve met and known most for a while already. Hiding is no longer necessary.

DAY 3: Read John 8:2-11 Speak to Jesus or the woman as in a colloquy. col•lo•quy | noun (plural colloquies)
  1. formal a conversation: they broke off their colloquy at once | an evening of sophisticated colloquy. 
  2. a gathering for discussion of theological questions: students attend colloquies and seminars in their chosen fields of study.
Being able to forget and release my trauma of youth, is certainly a challenge. I always feel like I still have something to learn from it all. But never seem to be clear about what that means or how to step into this more. I guess like everything else, I feel like I will step into whatever I need when I am ready for it. And again the clarity and focus that comes to me in prayer and serious contemplation is realizing how I am released from all sins with daily Mass. And since there is “no one to condemn” me, it’s not necessary for me to hide anymore. Just like I realize I’ve learned to “interrupt” everyone in conversations since I was never listened to and never respected enough or “allowed to” add to conversations with my primary family . . . Wow, sounds like some more serious details I am learning that I need to add to my Welcome Witnessing. 

DAY 4: Repetition of any day. DAY 5: Read Luke 15:1-7, with a colloquy. Do you know what it's like to be lost and then found? Have you acted as a good shepherd" to another person? I guess I’ve always felt lost, or like an outcast by my primary family, OH EXCEPT my Mom of course. Which is really a wonderful realization now, as my dad raised us in a Methodist Church, but clearly my Mom made sure I learned or experienced the (Catholic) Truth. She always made me feel really special, and considering how I’ve treated my peers, I recognize that I’ve always been the shepherd. I guess the first thing that comes to mind was sitting at the Gasparilla Art Festival watching my kids playing in the grass before the orchestra stage sipping a beer. And chuck called me. He was in NJ again since we graduated from engineering at USF. Yes, he was still single, living in his parents basement. While I had wife, kids, house and all. Then he asked me about moving back to Tampa and wanted me to copy pages from my Journal.

Course I told him that he belonged here, and there was nothing better. But I understood what he wanted. Yes, I thought it was odd. But all he wanted were the pages that ended with my pretty sketched out “Thank you Jesus" prayers at the end. I Guess he had seen hundreds of pages like that when we developed STARS together, as he would always want to read my latest insights. Course, I remember sending him a hundred pages and then he returned them all when he moved back to Tampa again… yes another good shepherd, as he married here, two kids and countless successes.  Now, I laugh again as I remember his big folder of copies I took to NC to give to Neal Donald Walsh after his first Conversations with God book… lol, shepherding thousands now, as I couldn't write as well as a professional journalist!

DAY 6: Read Ezekiel 36:25-28, with a colloquy ("A new heart I give you, and a new spirit I will put within you"). Have you felt what this new heart is for you? Do you see the remains of your "heart of stone"? What new spirit is stirring within you? I love this scenario referring me back to "my waters. . ." as I'm now getting into a new model. Yes, another engineer called me to help him out. So sure a new model is always cool. And I've dragged my feet with it, but realized how God wants me to get back into my habits and routines that I've created for my life and health. My life with my children was my best experience ever. So returning to the private practice I created seems kinda obvious and common sense. I worked when I wanted, but would get really serious at it and burn through as much so I could, so I could play with my kids more. Lol, course I remember Busch Gardens, the Lowry Park Zoo and Florida Aquarium passes as we had them all for different years. Then the annual trips to Asheville NC, which morphed into Bread & Breakfast retreats, or Disney World with my divorce. . . 
Yes, I snapped pictures of my breakfast this morning. I was singing when I chopped the little coconut cubes to put on top of the yummy berries and fruit. Yes, I’ve always loved coconut, since my mom’s coconut candy as a little child. But then found the glass dish full of chocolate cake in my fridge. Oh Yum, more little chocolate cubes as I was inspired. Then the nine seed mix, organic yogurt, and almond butter mix . . . wow, it was so beautiful to see it made before my eyes. . . and I could feel the love and grace of sharing in the beauty and divinity that only God could Create for me. . . 

Ok, I confess, I was more than inspired. I've been getting my Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, transferred to Saint Mary and Saint Joseph, so now the direction and inspirations I get are ASKED FOR. PLEASE Love Lord Jesus Christ Saint Mary and Saint Joseph GUIDE ME, LEAD ME. . . SHOW ME!  And Mary Loves FOOD, just like my Mom Ely Maria. . . oh and Jesus and Joseph are definitely FOODIES like me!


DAY 7: Review your journal from the past few weeks. Savor and distill the graces. Yes, I noticed this morning a big pot of veggies and another pot of chopped fruit in my fridge. Wow, that is all I would eat when alone, eating real food really feels like one of those awesome habits I created in school. Now with Exodus 90, I have been making my bed, praying more regularly, and doing exercise. YES TODAY, I even added another move. . . 20 situps, 20 pushups, 20 squats, 20 arm flex, 20 inner curls, 20 out curls over the head. . . oh and after the pushups I did 20 lunges. . . I think that's what it's called. . . so I know the arm flexes need to shift into two or three more moves too. . . Uhg, more weights. OH AND I've brought the one pound weights on my bike a few times, it works easy, I just need to remember them . . . . Oh and I’m back on my Bike from my PhD too, no e-bikes, but my regular old Schwinn . . . LOVE, JOY, PEACE!!!! Thanks to YOU DEAR GOD!







112.2 SEEL imagination to see my place with Spirit Better

  I am starting again with the last days of SEEL with Imaginative Prayers, I need to get deeper into this Image I’ve been exploring . . . Le...