107.2 more on sin!?!..

DAY4: Ask: When have I failed to notice or respond to the needs of others? When have I felt isolated from God or others by my own sin? I’m not sure if I can even understand this. Like recently talking with my son, he was very clear about not believing in God or accepting Jesus. However, during our discussion, he mentioned visiting with my father. When I asked for “his impression” of my father’s health and future, his insights and comments were in the Love of God. When I mentioned to him how I felt, and how he was raised in the Spirit of God, he understood his deeper resonance though he still would not acknowledge it as God. Seems to me that whether we accept or understand we are of the vine and have branches pruned or not, we still produce grapes to God's Glory.

.

I’m not sure if my personal experience with my son as described comes close to the experience between Lazarus and the rich man. But I do feel like my son and I would be considered rich, and I do know we have responded to the needs of others readily. I'm not sure or convinced it is still in my son, but I do realize the experiences of his youth still carry into his current state of being.

Equally, I know how generous I've been, where people take advantage of me. I recall My Dean telling me to stop being so “helpful and generous,” as it was taking too much time from completing the tasks I was assigned. This has helped me to develop a deeper level of discernment, through I find people can still take advantage of me.

I do know and see how generous others are around me, especially as I attend a Church within a wealthy community. There certainly are very few people in the disparity of Lazarus, but I know we have cared for many.

DAY 5: Read Romans 5:1-11 ("God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us"). Now use your imagination to place yourself before Jesus on the cross. I have always had trouble with this. I have known and experienced trauma before, and have a very vivid imagination where placing myself with Jesus at the cross is difficult.

What have I done for Christ?
What am I doing for Christ? 
What ought I do for Christ?

While these questions are easy now, as I've made so much progress stepping into my place with God. I feel it has only been in the last few weeks where I've been strong and confident in my tasks and responsibilities before me. Each day I begin with Jesus, each day I listen and follow as best as I can. 

I know it's really been a few weeks where I have started classes, and find myself all on my own, staying in Jesus, trusting in Jesus, and working as I am lead.

And again the Exodus 90 reading this morning brings me deeper into this lesson before me. And their prayer

 Like Moses, we all have excuses. "I am weak, a sinner, an impure man. I'm too busy working hard to support my family. I have plans. I've been working hard at this for years and can't get distracted now." All these things may be true, but God is ready to intervene to fix the problems buried underneath the excuses. "I will be with you." This is God's response, giving us all we need to know to set out on our journey to freedom. He has heard the groans of our heart; he sees past our defenses to the source of the problem, and is waiting to act.

Will we come along in the unfolding of his plan? This can become the appointed time for our deliverance if we cooperate with God and allow him to act, opening our hearts in prayer and in honesty to our fraternity brothers. Pray today about any excuses you are making and how God can overcome them if you allow him space to act in your heart.

DAY 6: Repetition of the parable of the prodigal son and his brother. Conclude with the colloquy from Day 5. My intimate conversations with spirit have become more focused and clear, as where my consecration to Mary, is allowing more from Saint Mary and Saint Joseph. The joyfull experience of the Trinity as Father, Son and Holy Ghost has become very present and clear. Again the prodigal story of my own needs to be brought out to a new place.

DAY 7: Review the week as a whole and savor the graces. Conclude with the colloquy from Day 5. This week has been a challenge to write about. I have been busy with my classes, and realize I still have a lot to do. Wow, and family focus going now this morning is speaking about how important it is to have family meals together. Last week I invited two couples over and have still never followed up on it. It's really insecurity as I pay my bills and wonder if I will any income to cover even my basic expenses.