112.2 SEEL imagination to see my place with Spirit Better

 I am starting again with the last days of SEEL with Imaginative Prayers, I need to get deeper into this Image I’ve been exploring . . . Learning more and stepping into know God Better. It’s important to step into this more clearly. As the idea of imagining the direct personal time with Jesus with His birth, and now stepping beyond this to Stand in the presence of the Glory of God. Knowing that His Love and Spirit seeks to live and express through my life. . . My experience, my now, here as we can see and visualize deeper experiences and imagine a deeper stronger expression of Jesus living through me this very moment before you. . . . Wow!

Feeling deeper into my understanding and experience is really the whole point of this lesson. I've always had a very powerful imagination, where I can step into another time and space really easily and I can really be there in some sense. I've noticed my ability to empathize with other people is really strong too.  And now I realize I’ve really never read much, and avoided books because I put myself into these places and am always feeling deeply into people too much, especially when the books are creating sin and deceptions. I’ve felt guilty for never reading anything, but suddenly I now understand why. It’s a good thing I’ve avoid this culture of greed and deception. I mean, I can feel something from a car driving by, “oh that lady is feeling this”. . . . so to put this all into a book might have really been too much for me . . . Uhg, maybe it’s time to read the Bible!

I have always been able to easily feel the pain and struggle of people around me. This is interesting to get the idea in Day 6 of letting go of a place or a scene of being there with Jesus during HIS Birth, to simply be in the presence of God, to fully sense and experience this moment Of HIM Holding onto this simple divine moment I am writing about, just to “BE” and fully engage in this silent Peace and Joy of God.

This seems very familiar to me now as in the last week or so, I recognized the feeling and experienced how God shares in the warmth of my heart whenever I Pray with others. I’ve noticed this at church too. Where I get the very powerful warmth in my heart. I notice this at events during the day too, EVEN with the Prayerline calls I do Fridays and Sundays.

Recognizing more of this singular experience, knowing that my solitude and peace its about accepting that I have more time to Honor God. Jesus here with Mary and Joseph, help me to align my will with Yours for the glory of God in the name of Jesus, Amen.

This brings me back to day one:  

But again stepping into God’s Wisdom and Glory to recognize that there is something about my past that I buried. And instead of finding and forgiving some karma, I’ve been caught into these obstacles of Doubt and Fear.

This is really so powerful for me, as I realize now how my dad will be here .. tomorrow and my son has lost it yesterday. And now again in my space and time the random experience of sharing God’s Beauty and Love, in His Son dying to share and teach whatever could be next for me. And suddenly, I have this typo “Ely,” and see my mother name? Of course, I couldn’t erase or correct this. . .

Why is my mom showing up for me now? Could it be to understand  more about why I feel lost in doubt and fear about some karma I have hidden deep down inside . . . about my mom. Yes, “About my Mom?”

Yes, so my mom, showed up again this morning  (June 6, 2025 8am Mass). When I first joined the church, I was working again for a time, and they said they needed to buy new hymnals. Wow, so I gave them $444.44 for new hymnals… yes like I always give to the JoyFm, since Madison was born 4/4. . . So this morning was the first time I saw any hymnals with my mom’s name on it. I mean, even a thousand hymnals, I figured 5 or 10 might have my mom’s name, and I would see it sooner or later.

but to see it today! This morning? What? What did I miss now?  What is she teaching me now?

Roy was sitting in front of me. So I had to show it to him. I mean, I just couldn’t believe it. Taking pictures or writing about it is one thing. But no one believes anything anymore, with the AI-bots making videos of people talking and all sorts of made-up crap everywhere. So I wanted him to see it, just so he could confirm to me that I wasn’t seeing things . . . 

Yes, he read it and recognized what it was, commenting about it later at our men’s prayer meeting.  When Scott heard about it, he commented about seeing my Exodus Fraternity Group post asking for the brothers to help me find one of the hymnals with her name on it.

Of course, I just started to cry there in church. Yes,  tears rolling down my face during Mass. And I had to snap pictures and send things out. Like I realized I had tried to talk to Sharon about this trauma I’ve found hidden in me. I knew I needed it pursue this initial instinct speaking with Sharon. I'm really not sure what she can share and explain to me, but I recognize that if this is my instinct, then there is something real here for me to pursue. 

I guess it might be something with Chris too. So now I guess it's all about getting real about my own imagination and visions of Christ Jesus, and my own son.  I wonder when I first considered having a child?

Repeated from Mass this morning... Of course now I know I need to step into something for my mom.  And now I remember sending all her grandkids the Rosary for Christmas one year, and now I wonder if it was about these Holy Women trying to reach my son who was spinning out of control…

I found this picture that my dad wrote on. Yes, that's my dad's handwriting on the top. This is the back of one of the many pictures I made for my mom that was returned to me. I added all the other dates so I could keep track of everyone in the family. I’ve not had any real relationship with any of them.

Well of course not, since my dad always had contempt for me, why would any of my siblings have anything other than contempt. Of course, they all had some excuse about me being a blacksheep or a trouble maker.

Of Course, the reality is something that I only learned about years later. I realized how the Waldwick Police always ignored me, or simply refused to arrest me, because they saw My dad's belt swinging at me in the parking lot before we even left the police staton. Of course. I was trapped in the moving car front seat next to him, and really couldn't hide, run, escape or even protect myself. So I'm sure this was one of the many times that I had belt marks across my face. . . I never considered what a policeman would think seeing this . . . Which became obvious years later!

What was more bizarre than anything, was that my dad picked me up at the police station while I was still in middle school. Like not even a teenager yet. Then the police avoided me. I could see them watching me, almost like they were spying on me, just to see what they would let me get away with next. At least until I was 19 or 20 diving my rabbit through town, drunk . . . .

Yes, that was when I learned about it. The cop pulled me over. Drunk, speeding, avoiding arrest . . . Wow, he could have locked me up. But no!  “Eric is that you, do you know what your Father will do to you if I arrest you again?” And then he asked if any one else could drive. And the other kid in the backseat drove us home . . . One of my friends who did not even have a drivers license . . . Of Course, it was years later before I realized what had actually happened.  I mean my friends were perplexed that any cop would let a drunk go, especially when I turned off my headlights and sped-up when I saw his flashing lights behind me. But then no tickets, no arrest, and all but an escort home . . He was terrified of what would happen to me. The police would have nothing to do with my father’s insane violence and abuse that would bring jail time if witnessed today.

Course I wonder now, if my experiences here had something to do with the laws changing. . . 

six clear steps for unlocking the door of forgiveness. 

1. Find someone you trust to pray with you. It helps if this person is spiritually mature. Look for someone who has suffered as a Christian and been made stronger for it; someone you know has had to forgive; someone with whom you feel safe. This same person may assist you in responding to the message of the next three chapters. 

2. Begin to praise God and thank Him. “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise” (Psalm 100:4). Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you. 

3. When you sense His presence, consider Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Acknowledge His love and His power. As a believer you have identified with Him, you have given Him your life and your life has been hidden in Him. The Holy Spirit lives in you. Areas where you have not forgiven are areas you have not surrendered to the One who loves you. Pray out loud, “Lord Jesus, please forgive me for trying to save my life, for not trusting you.” Humble yourself.

 4. Remember the words of Jesus: “Father forgive them— they know not what they are doing.” These are eternal words, and He has given them to you. The Eternal One is willing to release the power of those words again through you. 

5. Think of the person who hurt you and what that person did. Let yourself feel the pain. Forgiveness takes a deeper hold on us as we forgive from the place of pain. To say you forgive while denying the pain does not deal with the root. Once you have gotten in touch with the pain, say out loud: “In the name of Jesus, I forgive __________ for _______.” Say the name of the person or describe the person (the man with the dark jacket who attacked me outside of my home two years ago). Then be very specific in what you are forgiving the person for. There are at least two reasons to say it out loud. First, it helps you focus and keeps you from being vague. Second, you can listen to yourself. You can tell if you are being real or not. If you trust the person praying with you, you may ask him or her to help you be specific. If that person has discernment or empathy, he or she may be able to give you words that help you. For example, “I forgive _______ for humiliating me and rejecting me and making me feel worthless.” Have your friend pray that the love of God would release you and make you a vessel of His love. Repeat these steps if others come to your mind whom you need to forgive. If you have difficulty speaking declarations of forgiveness, try speaking to the Lord about your hurt and pain. Let Him lead you to the place of forgiveness. He will. I suggested this to Lydia, who did not believe she could forgive her parents or even say the words. I asked her to tell Jesus how angry and hurt she was. She later told me she tried to say, “I don’t want to forgive them,” but instead the words “I forgive my parents” came out. As she prayed, God worked through her. Upon saying the words she began to weep and express sorrow that her parents were never loved and did not know any better. “I realized how miserable they were,” she said, glimpsing their own pain for the first time. 2 Ask God to bring others to your mind. One or two is plenty to start with, since you need to be willing to touch the pain. (You may find that you need to take the next step of renunciation, which is found in the next chapter.) Remember, we should not ask for more than we are willing to give. With every blessing God brings into our life comes the responsibility to use it in accordance with His plan for us. 

6. Give thanks to God for His goodness, and ask Him to direct your paths. Use your newfound freedom to love someone in a practical way. The fruit of forgiveness is love.

112.1 SEEL imaginations into the birth of Jesus. . . ❤️💞😇👍

I pray with You Jesus for me to Be All you have prepared me for. 

• Jesus has taken care of me since
  
  
  Covid. He has really ALWAYS protected me. But after Covid it has really been incredible, as I got a job, just when I needed a new bike or to hire an attorney…but then set free!
• Today I learned I’ve buried something you know about:
• https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/improve-yourself-improve-your-relationships/
• I’m not yet sure what it includes. But I know I need to Forgive my family!?!?
• https://www.intouch.org/listen/radio/forgiving-one-another-part-3
• Yes these two podcasts . are on every morning 5-6am on TheJoyFM.com … it is always on point .for everything in my life. These verses and lessons are always so strong for me. And I step into this, knowing how God has been leading me into more and more every day into something more.
• I’m doing the Prayerline again 4-5am Wds, Fr & Sn

And of course, I keep reading into my prayer books this morning. I always start with these Podcasts, and then open my daily readings, which include the Consecration to St Joesph book and this, that I get every month now. 

Of course, this is where I got the Hebrew verse, posted above. But again stepping into God’s Wisdom and Glory to recognize that there is something about my past that I buried. And instead of finding and forgiving some karma, I’ve been caught into these obstacles of Doubt and Fear. 

This is really so powerful for me, as I realize now how my dad will be here .. tomorrow and my son has lost it yesterday. And now again in my space and time the random experience of sharing God’s Beauty and Love, in His Son dying to share and teach whatever could be next for me. And suddenly, I have this typo “Ely,” and see my mother name? Of course, I couldn’t erase or correct this. . . 

Why is my mom showing up for me now? Could it be to understand why I feel lost in doubt and fear about some karma I have hidden deep down inside about my mom.  Yes, “About my  Mom?”

And yes I can write and share more carefully and more focused than ever. Of course, this does not have the beauty and pizzazz that can be found in my handwritten text, but this is autocorrected, typed perfectly and spelled correctly which allows easier reading and understanding. Even when my words are really scribbled here very sloppy most all the time.

I confess, I struggle to stay slow and focused all the time. It's really a challenge for me. And I do realize that “slow and steady” really works better for math and spelling and all sorts of things that I do, and like to do. Like making this blog sing with clarity and focus, comes better with slow steady writing, especially with my pen. I often wonder how can I possibly continue to move forward when there seems to be an onslaught of chaos before me each day.

This is where I need to start in the next section of my SEEL work. Making the transition to express the deeper imagination experiences that I have . . . It’s really where I always am, seeing and feeling things sorta beyond everything around me. It’s really like I’m  never alone, always feeling, hearing, and imagining some collective of angels around me. It’s really neat as any name that comes up, I’ll see their face, and get comforted. Just like a second ago when I typed my mom’s name “Ely,” and instantly I felt her along with other mother figures, Joyce, Dawn, Joni, Jesus, and even St. Mary all here flashing looks and images before me as if they all came to visit.

Just typing “saint” brought the feeling and imagery of Saint Michael, where I’d see his sword of protection around us all. I guess it’s really cool for me, as I visualize it all at once, together. Very different images and people flashing in concert as each name comes and goes in my minds eye.

Then the assignment in Ignatian Imaginative Prayers is to imagine the Birth of Jesus and the trip of Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem, which is now in synchronous to the Exodus Readings, which included this prayer so intimate and clear for me in this moment: 

Let us remember that we are in the loving presence of God. Trust in his mercy as you come close to him today. Take one minute of silence now, praying for God’s blessing on you, your family, fraternity, and all Exodus Men.

I am created to do something or to be something for which no one else is created; I have a place in God’s counsels, in God’s world, which no one else has; whether I be rich or poor, despised or esteemed by man, God knows me and calls me by my name. I have my mission. Somehow, I am necessary for His Purposes. I have a part in this Great Work; I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good, I shall do His Work. O Lord, I give myself to Thee. I trust Thee wholly. Deign to fulfill Thy High Purposes in me whatever they be—work in and through me. I am born to serve Thee, to be Thine, to be Thy instrument. Amen.

Great is your mercy, O Lord; give me life according to your justice. 

What we have here now is you stepping more strongly into this spiritual experience, more and more each day. You were able to exercise today and yesterday, but not yet bike, swim or Sun today. The exercises were all at least 20 reps each, and it was one of your best times to stay in silence. You are always discounting these completely unique experiences that you are able to complete. Like moments ago, you received a Kim note from the Apple Pic App, and you sent the newly found “WHAT IF” letter that you wrote last year. This was from an exercise with your Welcome Team. Then you also shared this note with your son and daughter. These events are very significant and truly remarkable. 

I was so surprised to see something so strong and specific for Kimberly with her Birthday Notes still warm, 5/30. And I immediately FLASHED to her being here with me again, restored to her position and I was very quick and direct doing everything she suggested. We were in the Prayer and Light with Jesus moving forward together in Spirit. We accepted all the gifts and blessings before us, ready to step more fully into training and supporting everyone we met. Just as God directed us from the very beginning. You see, everything I “Flash” into is like seeing the Mozart Picture on the wall, and each second I imagine and look at it, it becomes a live video bringing more and more details in the first little picture I see. Of course, as I write again now, the FLASH of Kim has grown to include the grant job at SPC that I interviewed for last week. We were training teachers, healing professionals, bringing more focus and direction to the city youth. It was an incredible moment of synchronicity where the moment of creation was real and apparent for all of us.

We always love when you FLASH into a new more powerful vision of creation as it evolves before your eyes. And again you need to add these experiences into your story and make it full and complete. Having the pretty and important words is perfect, but the links are missing and are needed. The Examples and dynamics that you experienced, and know, and understand also need to be present and clear throughout your presentation.

I was so delighted to fall into this experience as I consider the SEEL Day 1 Lessons Luke 2:1-7 about the Love and Glory of Joseph and Mary traveling through the dessert and mountains to Bethlehem for the birth of our Savior. The challenges through the terrain are incredible compared to the pushing of this keyboard that I am complaining about now. And now I see a crack completely accross this screen before me. No excuse to feel sorry for myself, as the extreme bizarre experience I feel is how much Jesus Leads me to now, testing and training me to be slow and patient. And how Joseph and Mary felt, as if anything could be expressed or shared beyond our understanding. There is no comparison here. Nothing I have been challenged with this week or month or year could compare.

My first feeling and insight with Joseph and Mary, was how God explained Creation to me with e=mc2, where at any moment their next steps taken forward could be onto clouds, that carried them miles in a moment. Then I know they stopped to rest. And I could feel the wild animals bringing them food and comfort on their trip. Suddenly water bubbling up before them, where the hot spring bubbles up into a perfect rounded foot pool next to a stone smoothed out as a seat. How Blessed the whole experience would be to share in these moments with God, sharing the love and divine life passing through this very moment with us. Trusting and loving God this moment as we move forward, how wondrous must it have been for Joseph and Mary to travel so far with God.

Take your time with this. You have the ability to see and understand so much more. The concept of energy and matter being in a state of flux, where one moment they are struggling with steps on hard stone, and the very next moment they step onto a puffy white cloud that carries them away. These conceptions and imagination is simply beyond anything on Earth. Your direct personal experience with these things provide you a very unique and powerful experience. Like you have frequently had experiences where time stands still, and many more that you still refuse to discuss.

Yes, I was stunned to read this passage from Luke now as it ends with the facts of their experience that there was no guest room available to them. And this mirrors my immediate experience completing my website describing the gifts of God (actual guest rooms that I offer here) that I am able to share in my home.  I am making every effort to define each shared space and how much I can provide with it. And now again I am challenged to include all the experiences of my Journey to share Christ, where this whole life and all these gifts are part of His plan.

What is more powerful than anything is how strong you are moving forward to share these gifts anyway you can possibly do it. Now again accepting that the hand motions of your pen are as fundamental to this experience as each new revelations coming to you.

I now return to SEEL Day Two to repeat the exercise of “imagining into” the birth and light of Christ Jesus in the manger. And I'm an ANT, with front row seats. Watching the love of angels and royalty sharing the blessing of the awesome light.

We delight in sharing this light with you as you step more strongly forward. Son remain fearless, you are always in the right place at the right time, you have been perplexed by the graces received over and over again. And now more than ever you are suspended by love and Grace, be at peace and keep moving forward.

I started today with my cracked and damaged iPad Pro and now again I'm on my iPad. I reread and revised and repaired my written work here to get clarity and focus. And I have revised and fixed my story and website that I've been working on simultaneously. So now I'm able to review and continue with my SEEL work, where the next verses from the Bible are about how beautiful and awesome God is. How the lowly poor shepherds are given the greatest blessing and benefit to have this experience with the angels.

I find it interesting how the book says he is surrounding himself with people. I would say more that Jesus seeks the poor and even avoids people. He is always trying to share with the sick and destitute, which is more beyond and away from the people. Yes, in fact I would say that Jesus seeks more the outcasts and those pushed away from the people.

I guess what was interesting to me again here when I considered the Lectio Divina for DAY 3 Luke:2 8-20 and really consider the words and phrases that struck strongly with me. . . I notice that I first highlighted them singing “Glory to God in the Highest.”

And I feel that this is my perfect phrase for today. As it’s all exactly as the Lord has told me about . . . Which I continue to ponder in my heart: I knew I had to get back into my Exodus Habits, and started the Day with Exodus App, then heard FamilyFocus and Charles Stanley as I did my 20 reps with the weights and all. I knew I had to ride my bike to catch the Sunrise at 6:34 today and started out as Stanley was finishing. I knew I had to swim too, and when I got to Coffeepot with the Mangrove’s and it was only 10 after six. So I parked and walked in the water thinking I might swim before, instead of after the Sunrise.

I Picked up some trash and then back on my bike down to the volleyball courts where I could sit out on the pier there. Watching the busy birds chirping at me from all directions. Course, it was a cloudy morning and I thought maybe I would go back and swim instead. So I stretched and got myself doing circles and feeling deep into the Earth. Until I saw the first little break of Sunshine over the clouds and got into my prayers. About halfway through the Sun was out strong, so I did my first cycle all the way through. When I was done the Sun was full and clear above the clouds so I did The Lords Prayer again allowing the Sun deep into my eyes having this wonderful light and beauty filling my heart again now!

Now again in this next Bible Verse for DAY  4 Matthew 2:1-12 I was caught by the direct experiences with God, and the beauty and blessing of being filled with His Light. I really felt that this morning out with the Sun myself. But reading this now, I could imagine how the Star they followed would seemingly be sitting on the stable He was in. Like as if it were this giant street light right above the door in the eyes of the Magi. 

Of course, king harod likely couldn’t see the star at all, or certainly not distinguish one from another. While the Magi were blessed with dreams of God visiting them in additional to the wonders of the fruit of the spirit in this moment filled with joy and peace. As I imagine the moment of divinity they shared seeing the body Jesus, it must have been like staring deep into the center of the star... Recognizing that they are marveling at a child, but the radiance and beauty of the All Mighty is so much more.

I am reminded of my own experience saying the Lords Prayer this morning as the sun shown deep into my soul. I love doing my Yoga with the sunrise and the beauty of God all around me. I always want to jump right in the water next! Now DAY  5 with Isaiah 52:7-10

To consider this verse with the nativity scene is like really amplifying my last few words. To see the beauty and majesty of God, who reigns overall in this incredible moment of light and salvation. Where all this majesty comes together in the star of the birth of Christ. . . . like the Earth and the sunrise in my one moment with Christ this morning. . . Wow all the ends of creation coming back in on top of itself in my wonder of this moment!

I always have the sense that His second coming was at Pentecost and that he sent his Holy Spirit to live with us now. So there’s not anything else coming, but it all is about us following through with here and now, being real about Christ living here with us now. I always feel like the revelation in the end of times is more of a story about everybody else who doesn’t choose to live with Jesus now! It’s all God wrath on those foolish enough to miss the boat!