Intentional Soul ministry

Since God is Love as stated in 1 John 4:16 in the Bible and, The Great Commandment tells us to love God and love our neighbor, please tell me about love.

ChatGPT said:
Love, as described in the Bible, especially in the context of 1 John 4:16 and the Great Commandment, is foundational to understanding our relationship with God and others. Let's explore this in a way that connects these teachings to our daily lives and spiritual growth.

1. God is Love:
1 John 4:16: "God is love, and those who live in love live in God, and God in them." This verse profoundly reveals that love is not just an attribute of God but His very essence. When we say "God is love," we're saying that everything God does is an expression of His love. His creation of the world, His relationship with humanity, His commandments, and His plan for salvation all flow from His loving nature.

Implication for Us: If God is love, then to know God is to know love. This means that our journey toward spiritual maturity is essentially a journey toward greater love—love for God, love for ourselves as His creation, and love for others.

2. The Great Commandment:
Matthew 22:37-39: Jesus sums up the Law and the Prophets with the command to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind" and to "Love your neighbor as yourself." This commandment encapsulates the entire purpose of our existence: to live in a relationship of love with God and to extend that love to others.

Loving God: Loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind means giving Him our full devotion, seeking to align our will with His, and living in a way that reflects His love in our daily actions. This involves prayer, obedience, and a desire to grow closer to Him through the sacraments, Scripture, and the Church's teachings.

Loving Our Neighbor: Loving our neighbor as ourselves is a natural outflow of loving God. When we truly understand and experience God's love, we are compelled to share it with others. This love isn't just a feeling but a choice to seek the good of others, even at a cost to ourselves. It's about compassion, forgiveness, patience, and actively working for the well-being of those around us.

3. Types of Love in Scripture:
Agape: This is the highest form of love, often described as selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. Agape is the love God has for us and the love we are called to extend to others. It seeks nothing in return and is characterized by a deep sense of commitment and care.

Philia: This is brotherly love, the affection between friends. It's a mutual, warm, and supportive love that builds community and fosters deep, meaningful relationships.

Eros: This is romantic or passionate love. While it's often associated with physical desire, in the context of marriage, it can also reflect a deeper, spiritual bond that mirrors God's covenantal love.

4. Living Out Love:
Practical Application: In our daily lives, love is more than just a feeling; it's an action. We show love through kindness, patience, forgiveness, and service to others. This can be as simple as offering a listening ear, helping someone in need, or praying for others.

Spiritual Exercises: In the context of The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, love is seen as a driving force for discerning God's will. Ignatius encourages us to ask, "What have I done for Christ? What am I doing for Christ? What ought I to do for Christ?" These questions guide us to live out love in a way that aligns with God's purpose for our lives.

5. Catechism of the Catholic Church on Love:
CCC 1822: "Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for his own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God."

CCC 1823: Jesus makes charity the new commandment. By loving His own “to the end,” He makes manifest the Father’s love which He receives. By loving one another, the disciples imitate the love of Jesus, which they themselves receive. Whence Jesus says: "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love" (John 15:9).

6. Challenges and Growth in Love:
Struggles: Loving others, especially those who hurt or oppose us, can be challenging. Yet, these challenges are opportunities for spiritual growth. When we choose to love in difficult situations, we become more like Christ, who loved us even to the point of death on the cross.

Growth: Love grows through prayer, reflection, and action. By regularly examining our hearts and asking God to fill us with His love, we can become more capable of living out the Great Commandment.

Conclusion:
Love, as understood through the lens of Christian faith, is both the essence of God and the ultimate goal of our lives. The Great Commandment calls us to love God with our entire being and to extend that love to others. By embracing this call, we fulfill our purpose and reflect the divine love that God has for each of us.

How does this understanding of love resonate with your experiences and your ministry, Dick?


Give me as complete a list as possible the attributes of love.

ChatGPT said:

The attributes of love, especially as understood within the Christian tradition, are richly described in Scripture and the teachings of the Church. Here’s a comprehensive list based on biblical texts, particularly 1 Corinthians 13, Galatians 5, and various other passages, along with insights from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC):

1. Patience (Long-suffering)
1 Corinthians 13:4: "Love is patient."

Love shows endurance through trials and challenges. It doesn't rush or force but waits with a calm and composed spirit.

2. Kindness
1 Corinthians 13:4: "Love is kind."

Love is tender, compassionate, and always seeks to do good to others. It manifests in actions that support, uplift, and encourage.

3. Generosity
1 Corinthians 13:4: "Love does not envy."

Love celebrates the success and blessings of others. It is not jealous or resentful but finds joy in the well-being of others.

4. Humility
1 Corinthians 13:4: "Love does not boast; it is not arrogant."

Love is not proud or self-centered. It recognizes the worth of others and is willing to take a lower place, putting others first.

5. Courtesy (Gentleness)
1 Corinthians 13:5: "It is not rude."

Love is respectful and considerate. It shows good manners and treats others with dignity.

6. Unselfishness
1 Corinthians 13:5: "It does not insist on its own way."

Love seeks the good of others rather than being fixated on personal desires or needs. It is self-giving and sacrificial.

7. Even-Temperedness (Not Easily Angered)
1 Corinthians 13:5: "It is not irritable."

Love controls its temper and doesn't quickly react with anger. It remains calm and composed, even when provoked.

8. Forgiveness
1 Corinthians 13:5: "It keeps no record of wrongs."

Love is quick to forgive and doesn't hold grudges. It chooses to let go of past hurts and offenses.

9. Rejoicing in Truth
1 Corinthians 13:6: "Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth."

Love is aligned with truth and integrity. It takes delight in honesty and righteousness and does not find pleasure in evil or deception.

10. Bearing All Things
1 Corinthians 13:7: "Love bears all things."

Love endures difficulties and hardships for the sake of others. It covers and protects others, offering support without complaint.

11. Believing All Things
1 Corinthians 13:7: "Love believes all things."

Love is trusting and always believes the best about others. It doesn't easily fall into suspicion or doubt.

12. Hoping All Things
1 Corinthians 13:7: "Love hopes all things."

Love is optimistic, looking forward with hope and expectation for good, both for oneself and for others.

13. Enduring All Things
1 Corinthians 13:7: "Love endures all things."

Love perseveres through trials and remains steadfast in the face of difficulties, always committed and unwavering.

14. Never Failing
1 Corinthians 13:8: "Love never ends."

True love is eternal and unending. It doesn't give up, wear out, or fail, but continues in every circumstance.

15. Self-Control
Galatians 5:23: As one of the fruits of the Spirit, love manifests in self-discipline and control over one's passions and desires.

16. Joy
Galatians 5:22: Love is closely tied to joy, a deep-seated happiness that comes from being in right relationship with God and others.

17. Peace
Galatians 5:22: Love fosters peace, a sense of harmony and tranquility within oneself and in relationships.

18. Goodness
Galatians 5:22: Love seeks to do good and be good, reflecting the moral character of God.

19. Faithfulness
Galatians 5:22: Love is faithful, showing loyalty, trustworthiness, and reliability in relationships.

20. Meekness
Matthew 5:5: Love is meek, not weak, but gentle and submissive to God's will, and not given to pride or self-assertion.

21. Mercy
Luke 6:36: Love is merciful, showing compassion and a willingness to forgive, even when justice might demand otherwise.

22. Sacrifice
John 15:13: "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."

Love often requires sacrifice, putting the needs of others above our own, even to the point of giving up our lives.

23. Purity
1 Timothy 1:5: Love issues from a pure heart, meaning it is sincere and untainted by selfish motives or impurity.

24. Righteousness
Proverbs 10:12: "Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all wrongs."

Love is associated with righteousness, seeking to do what is right and just in God's eyes.

25. Obedience to God
John 14:15: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."

Love is expressed through obedience to God's commandments, reflecting our love for Him in our actions.

26. Compassion
Matthew 9:36: Love is compassionate, feeling and responding to the suffering and needs of others.

27. Perseverance
James 1:12: Love perseveres through trials, maintaining its commitment and dedication in the face of adversity.

28. Holiness
1 Peter 1:15-16: Love is holy, set apart for God's purposes, and reflects His character.

29. Reverence
Hebrews 12:28: Love involves a deep respect and awe for God, acknowledging His majesty and authority.

30. Mutual Submission
Ephesians 5:21: Love involves mutual submission, where both parties respect and serve one another, particularly in the context of Christian marriage.

Conclusion:
These attributes paint a picture of love as something far beyond mere emotion or sentiment. In the Christian tradition, love is an active, dynamic force that shapes our character, guides our actions, and reflects the very nature of God. By cultivating these attributes in our lives, we grow closer to fulfilling the Great Commandment and living out our true purpose as children of God.

Would you like to explore any of these attributes in more depth or discuss how they might be integrated into your ministry?


It occurs to me that this is the path that Jesus/God meant for us to follow. Would you say that is an accurate statement?

ChatGPT said:

Yes, that is an accurate statement. The path of love, as described by the attributes you've explored, is indeed the path that Jesus and God have meant for us to follow.

Jesus as the Model of Love:
Jesus' life and teachings exemplify perfect love. His actions, such as healing the sick, forgiving sins, feeding the hungry, and ultimately sacrificing His life on the cross, embody the highest forms of love—selflessness, compassion, and sacrifice. By following His example, we are called to live out the same love in our lives.

The Great Commandment:
When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He pointed to love—love for God and love for our neighbor (Matthew 22:37-40). This commandment is the cornerstone of Christian life, summing up all the Law and the Prophets. Living out this commandment means embodying the attributes of love, as we discussed, in every aspect of our lives.

Path to Holiness:
The path of love is also the path to holiness. In 1 Peter 1:15-16, we are called to be holy as God is holy. Holiness, in this context, is not just about moral purity but about being set apart for God's purposes, which is fundamentally rooted in love. As we grow in love—expressing patience, kindness, humility, and all the other attributes—we are also growing in holiness, becoming more like Christ.

Union with God:
In 1 John 4:16, we read that "God is love, and those who live in love live in God, and God in them." This indicates that living a life of love brings us into deeper union with God. By following the path of love, we are essentially aligning ourselves with God's very nature and purpose for us.

Love as the Fulfillment of the Law:
St. Paul emphasizes that love fulfills the law (Romans 13:8-10). The commandments—do not steal, do not murder, do not commit adultery—are all summed up in loving one's neighbor as oneself. Therefore, following the path of love is the way to fulfill God's will and commandments.

The Spiritual Exercises and Love:
In the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, the principle of love is central to discernment and spiritual growth. Ignatius teaches that love ought to manifest more in deeds than in words, and the Exercises guide individuals to choose actions that lead to greater love of God and others.

Conclusion:
So, yes, the path of love, as embodied in the attributes we've discussed, is indeed the path that Jesus and God intend for us to follow. It's a path that leads to holiness, fulfillment of God's commandments, deeper union with Him, and ultimately, the fullness of life that Jesus promised (John 10:10).

This understanding not only guides us in our personal spiritual journey but also forms the foundation of how we interact with others, how we serve in ministry, and how we reflect God's love in the world. How does this align with your own experience and understanding in your ministry, Dick?


So, the thought occurs to me that that is not the way society works. Would you say that that is an accurate statement?

ChatGPT said:
Yes, that is an accurate observation. The way society often operates is not in alignment with the path of love as described in the teachings of Jesus and the attributes of love we've discussed. Here's why this might be the case and what it means for us as followers of Christ:

1. Societal Values vs. Christian Values:
Self-Interest and Competition: Modern society frequently values self-interest, competition, and individual success over communal well-being and sacrificial love. The pursuit of wealth, power, and status often takes precedence over the call to love selflessly and serve others.

Consumerism and Materialism: Society is often driven by consumerism, where material possessions and outward appearances are prioritized. This contrasts with the Christian call to simplicity, generosity, and valuing people over possessions.

2. Cultural Norms and Expectations:
Pride and Independence: Cultural norms often encourage pride, self-reliance, and independence, which can lead to arrogance and a lack of humility. In contrast, Christian love calls for humility, recognizing our dependence on God and our need to serve others.

Retaliation and Grudges: Society sometimes promotes retaliation and holding grudges as a form of justice or strength. However, Christian love emphasizes forgiveness and reconciliation, even with those who have wronged us.

3. The Challenge of Loving in a Fallen World:
Broken Relationships: Because of sin, relationships are often marked by brokenness, mistrust, and conflict. The Christian call to love, which includes patience, kindness, and forgiveness, can be challenging in a world where people hurt each other and where love is often conditional.

Injustice and Oppression: Society is riddled with injustices, such as inequality, racism, and exploitation. While the Christian path of love calls us to fight against these evils, it can feel overwhelming, especially when these issues are deeply entrenched.

4. The Call to Counter-Cultural Living:
Being in the World, but Not of the World: Jesus calls His followers to be in the world but not of the world (John 17:14-16). This means that while we live in society, we are called to live differently, according to the values of God's Kingdom, even when they conflict with societal norms.

Salt and Light: In Matthew 5:13-16, Jesus calls His disciples to be the "salt of the earth" and the "light of the world." This means that Christians are to bring the flavor and light of Christ's love into a world that often lacks both. This can be challenging, as it often requires standing against the current cultural tide.

5. Living the Christian Life in Society:
Witnessing through Love: Despite the challenges, Christians are called to witness to the love of God in their daily lives. This might mean going against societal norms by showing compassion, forgiving when others would seek revenge, and being generous in a world that values accumulation.

Transforming Society: While society may not operate according to the path of love, Christians are called to be agents of transformation. By living out the love of Christ, we can influence and change the world around us, even in small ways.

6. The Role of the Church:
A Community of Love: The Church is meant to be a community where the love of Christ is lived out and modeled. In a society that often lacks true love, the Church can be a refuge and a beacon of hope, showing what it means to live according to God's ways.

Conclusion:
Your observation highlights the tension between the Christian call to love and the reality of living in a society that often operates on different principles. While this can be challenging, it also underscores the importance of our role as followers of Christ—to be witnesses to a different way of living, one that reflects the love and teachings of Jesus.

How do you see this tension playing out in your ministry, and how do you guide others in navigating this challenge?


In light of that, knowing this is what we are faced with in our lives, how do we make this more engaging, relevant, and compelling to people? This seems to be what my ministry is about.

ChatGPT said:
Memory updated

Making the Christian call to love more engaging, relevant, and compelling in a society that often runs counter to these values is a crucial and noble mission. Here are some strategies and insights to help you achieve this in your ministry:

1. Contextualize the Message of Love:
Relate to Everyday Experiences: Connect the attributes of love to the everyday experiences and challenges that people face. Show how living out love in their daily lives—at work, in their families, and in their communities—can lead to greater fulfillment and peace, even in a world that often resists these values.

Address Current Issues: Engage with current social, cultural, and personal issues that people are dealing with. Whether it’s navigating workplace dynamics, dealing with social justice issues, or managing personal relationships, offer insights on how the Christian path of love can bring healing and transformation.

2. Use Stories and Testimonies:
Personal Stories: Share personal testimonies of how living out Christian love has made a difference in your life or the lives of others. Real-life stories can powerfully illustrate how love transforms and resonates with people on a deeper level.

Parables and Biblical Narratives: Jesus often used parables to convey profound truths in relatable ways. Use these stories to draw parallels with modern life, helping people see the timeless relevance of Jesus’ teachings on love.

3. Create Opportunities for Experiential Learning:
Retreats and Workshops: Offer retreats, workshops, or group sessions where people can experience the principles of love in action. These settings provide a safe space for participants to practice patience, forgiveness, humility, and other aspects of love within a supportive community.

Service Projects: Encourage participation in service projects that align with the principles of love, such as helping the poor, visiting the sick, or working for social justice. Engaging in these activities can make the abstract concept of love tangible and real.

4. Leverage Technology and Media:
Social Media and Content Creation: Use social media, blogs, podcasts, or videos to share messages about love in a way that is accessible and engaging. Visual content, quotes, and short reflections can reach people where they are and spark curiosity or deeper reflection.

Online Community: Create an online community where people can share their struggles and successes in living out love. This can provide support and encouragement, making the journey more communal and less isolated.

5. Develop Practical Tools and Resources:
Guides and Devotionals: Create practical guides, devotionals, or daily reflection prompts that help people focus on living out love in small, manageable ways each day. These can be distributed through your website, email lists, or printed materials.

Accountability Partnerships: Encourage participants to pair up with accountability partners who can support each other in their commitment to live out the attributes of love. This can help keep the practice of love at the forefront of their lives.

6. Foster a Community of Love:
Modeling Love in Community: Ensure that your ministry itself is a living example of love. How you interact with people, the way you handle conflicts, and the sense of welcome and belonging you create all serve as powerful testimonies to the love you preach.

Small Groups and Fellowship: Create small groups or fellowship opportunities where people can form deep, meaningful relationships grounded in love. These groups can be a source of mutual support and growth.

7. Encourage Personal Reflection and Discernment:
Spiritual Direction: Offer spiritual direction that helps individuals discern how they can live out love in their unique circumstances. Personalized guidance can help them see how love is relevant to their specific challenges and decisions.

Examine Life in Light of Love: Encourage regular personal reflection on how they are living out the attributes of love. This could be through journaling, prayer, or participating in a regular examen that focuses on love.

8. Highlight the Transformative Power of Love:
Focus on Transformation: Emphasize that the path of love is not just a moral obligation but a path to personal and societal transformation. Show how love can heal broken relationships, create stronger communities, and lead to a more just and compassionate society.

Promise of Fulfillment: Frame the path of love as the way to true fulfillment. In a world that often leaves people feeling empty or unfulfilled, the message that living out love leads to a richer, more meaningful life can be very compelling.

9. Engage the Heart and Mind:
Intellectual Engagement: Provide thoughtful, well-reasoned explanations of why the path of love is the most rational and beneficial way to live, appealing to those who are intellectually inclined.

Emotional Appeal: Don’t shy away from engaging the emotions. Use music, art, and other creative expressions to touch people’s hearts and help them feel the beauty and power of love.

Conclusion:
Your ministry, The Intentional Soul, is uniquely positioned to make the call to love more engaging, relevant, and compelling. By connecting the timeless truths of the Christian faith with the real-life experiences and challenges people face today, you can help them see that the path of love is not only possible but deeply transformative and fulfilling.

Would you like to explore any of these strategies further or discuss how to implement them in your current offerings?




Let's explore resistance to this.

ChatGPT said:

Resistance to embracing the path of love, as taught by Jesus, is a common challenge, especially in a world that often prioritizes different values. Understanding the sources of this resistance and how to address them is crucial for making your ministry more effective. Let's explore some of the key areas of resistance and strategies to overcome them.

1. Cultural and Societal Norms
Source of Resistance: Society often values success, power, independence, and self-reliance over the attributes of love, such as humility, patience, and selflessness. These societal norms can create resistance because the Christian path of love may seem countercultural or even impractical.

Strategy to Overcome: Emphasize how the attributes of love can lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment, peace, and community, which are often lacking in a competitive, individualistic society. Offer examples of how love, when practiced consistently, can transform personal relationships and contribute to a more just and compassionate society.

2. Fear of Vulnerability
Source of Resistance: Loving others, especially in the selfless, sacrificial way that Jesus taught, requires vulnerability. Many people resist this because they fear being hurt, rejected, or taken advantage of.

Strategy to Overcome: Create a safe and supportive environment where people can gradually learn to trust and practice love without fear. Share stories of how vulnerability, when rooted in love, can lead to deeper connections and personal growth. Emphasize the strength that comes from relying on God’s love, which empowers us to take risks in loving others.

3. Past Hurts and Unresolved Trauma
Source of Resistance: People who have been deeply hurt in the past may find it difficult to trust or love others. Past wounds can create barriers to accepting and giving love.

Strategy to Overcome: Offer opportunities for healing through spiritual direction, counseling, and prayer. Encourage participants to bring their pain to God, who is the source of all healing. Provide a community where they can experience unconditional love and acceptance, which can help them overcome their resistance.

4. Misunderstanding of Love
Source of Resistance: Some may have a skewed understanding of love, seeing it as merely sentimental or weak. They might resist the Christian call to love because they associate it with passivity or being a "doormat."

Strategy to Overcome: Teach about the true nature of Christian love, which is both strong and active. Use examples from the life of Jesus to show that love involves courage, justice, and standing up for what is right. Clarify that love is not about ignoring wrongs but about seeking the good of others in a way that reflects God’s truth and righteousness.

5. Discomfort with Change
Source of Resistance: Embracing the path of love often requires significant changes in behavior, attitudes, and even life priorities. Change can be uncomfortable and difficult, leading to resistance.

Strategy to Overcome: Approach change gradually, offering practical steps and encouragement along the way. Highlight the benefits of change, such as deeper peace, stronger relationships, and a more meaningful life. Provide support and accountability through community and small groups, helping people stay committed to the path of love.

6. Cynicism and Distrust
Source of Resistance: In a world filled with corruption, injustice, and disappointment, people can become cynical and distrustful. They may doubt the sincerity of love or question its effectiveness in bringing about real change.

Strategy to Overcome: Counter cynicism with authentic examples of love in action. Share success stories and testimonies of how love has made a tangible difference in people’s lives and communities. Encourage an attitude of hope, grounded in faith, that God’s love is powerful and transformative, even in the most challenging circumstances.

7. Selfishness and Pride
Source of Resistance: The call to love often conflicts with selfish desires and pride. People may resist the demands of love because it requires putting others before themselves and letting go of their ego.

Strategy to Overcome: Teach about the joy and fulfillment that come from self-giving love. Use the example of Christ, who humbled Himself for the sake of others, to illustrate that true greatness is found in serving others. Encourage practices like prayer and meditation that help cultivate humility and selflessness.

8. Lack of Immediate Gratification
Source of Resistance: In a culture that prioritizes instant gratification, the slow, patient work of love can seem unappealing. People may resist because they don’t see immediate results.

Strategy to Overcome: Emphasize the long-term benefits of living a life rooted in love, such as lasting joy, deeper relationships, and eternal rewards. Help people understand that love is a journey and that the fruits of love often take time to manifest but are worth the effort.

9. Spiritual Resistance
Source of Resistance: There is a spiritual dimension to resistance, where forces opposed to God’s love can create barriers in people’s hearts and minds. This can manifest as doubts, temptations, or discouragement.

Strategy to Overcome: Encourage regular spiritual practices such as prayer, fasting, and participation in the sacraments, which strengthen the soul and open it to God’s grace. Offer spiritual guidance and support to help individuals overcome these spiritual barriers and grow in love.

10. Perception of Love as Impractical
Source of Resistance: Some people might see the teachings on love as idealistic but impractical in the "real world," where competition, power struggles, and survival often seem to dominate.

Strategy to Overcome: Demonstrate the practicality of love through concrete examples and case studies. Show how love can be a powerful force in resolving conflicts, building strong communities, and even succeeding in business or leadership. Present love not as a naïve ideal but as a practical, effective way to live and interact with others.

Conclusion:
Understanding and addressing these sources of resistance is crucial for making the Christian call to love more engaging, relevant, and compelling. By meeting people where they are, acknowledging their fears and challenges, and offering practical, supportive ways to embrace the path of love, your ministry can help them overcome resistance and grow in their relationship with God and others.

How do you think these insights might shape your approach in The Intentional Soul ministry, and are there particular areas of resistance you'd like to focus on more deeply?

another dream again

Wow, I had another dream again.  3:46am July 16, 2024 and I’m talking to the my iPhone in the dark, knowing this AI technology, apps and equipment have caught up to me enough to catch all that I need to record and share with you now. . . “The gospel of the Lord, Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ,”TheJoyFM.com singing His words now!

It was wicked powerful of course, as I fell in love again. I was in school again, on my bike, racing around my old playground. It was so funny because I knew where the secret doors were, and all the passageways and all the back entrances and they were still there. Everything was still there. It was like the twilight zone, a Completely New World again, and it was so intense since I knew it all already, been there, done that. At Home again in the same place, in Peace and Joy.

3:48 AM  It was so wicked cool to suddenly be excited in the physical Radical Love of a pretty lady! We were racing home on our bikes, and of course the lady that I’m with, is in skin tight bike cloths of pink and purple. I knew I had ridden past her house before, I went through her neighborhood that same morning, and I knew there was something in there, but I didn’t know what it was. I had to get to school and so I went by it and got to school quick wondering what I felt or saw as I passed. And Riding home together and she takes the turn to go down into her neighborhood and I was like, oh shit, I knew there was something there for me that is, and she’s like don’t worry about it. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” And I see her smile as this divine form turns away, and I find my body all excited again in Radical Love.

I had to go a different direction to get to my neighborhood, and it was another blessing, because I knew where I was, and I knew who she was, and I knew where I was going. She knew who I was. It was like old friends, who just met again. The whole day was like, that so it was like my first day in school again, and as I woke up I’m ready to buy a beer but I’m on the wrong line, because I’m at the old line that I remember and needed to be in the new line as things have changed. I’ve been there before and I knew where everything was, or I thought I knew where everything was . . . Same place, Same lines, but things have shifted over time.

It was so funny, as this guy walks up to me and he’s like, “oh yeah you need this over here instead.” Like how did he know? And the whole day was so funny, because the people that I was meeting were relatives, like people I had known all my life or had known at different times and had experienced different things with. The whole experience was a procession of De-ja-vu. I realized that’s all I’m gonna be doing the rest of my life, stepping into places where I’ve already done it, and everybody I know is already there.

And of course, I know that that’s been my experience before. Like talking to this iPhone now and knowing that I’m sharing something that’s priceless, because that’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always done knowing this frequency vibrates throughout the whole universe. Nobody ever understood me and nobody will ever understand me without direct personal time in resonance and experience. So it’s like that very first spark all over again. The Very First Spark to hit Earth, and we were in it all together. We all decided it all together. We all want to do just this One Thing I’m in the middle of now. It’s still gonna work just as we planned it. I’ve said that a million times in my life. I’m gonna have so much editing to do with this iPhone gibberish, as usual. That happens when I scribble too, where I ask for things and intend things, but the printed words still need serious editing.

It is so funny after this guy bought me this beer in another line, I realized he was my Brother. My dear sweet bother watching over me, who I never knew before. We were in lines at the cafeteria and the second line he was in was where the keg was. So I was at the cash register ready to buy, and he is next to me in the next line over and stops me. “You need to come over here, let me show you, give me that.” And he was taking my supplies and paying for things setting it in with his own. I’m watching him and get embarrassed as the two cashiers are helping him along with people behind him in the line.  I pull out my wallet, this thin flimsy brown leather wallet. Nothing in it but two crusty old five dollar bills. The pale green against the untouched brown leather suede inside looked really pathetic.  He essentially ignored me, “I got this, no worries.”

And then I realized how behind him were the twins, other brothers who I knew. And it was like four of us, then started out from the line with me leading them, trying to help knowing we could sit together at this table under a big beautiful old oak tree right around the corner. Yes, we got lunch and I was in the wrong line and then he ends up buying me everything, and by the time he’s done that, there are four of us together. We wanna go sit outside and I know about this back door right around the corner. And they were just laughing because nobody’s supposed to know there’s a door there and it’s like the new guy is leading them to sneak around the back. It was really weird because the door was in the short little hallway, so I was up against it as the others were just turning down the hallway my way. And it’s hidden, like sealed up in white paper and cheap old plaster, that I brushed away in a second. 

Then I see they’re doing all this military training or something out back.  The perfect pretty old oak tree, was punished over to one side. The back door where we were outside and they were testing some equipment or something like that.  Nobody wanted anyone to see us going out the back door so they were trying to make sure that nobody saw me opening the back door.  Every time they started heading my way somebody else would see us and they’d have to turn in and do something different so they always ended up playing around with somebody before they got to the back door. One of them went around to the front and found out how to get to it from the front, it was like, hey you know I’m over here. 

It was funny seeing him wave at me and I was like; “oh you got to the Front.” And he was like yeah we can get in from the front way too. It’s just so funny because it was like me back in the UC (University Center) back in that old campus community center we called the UC, a university center where all the students organizations met, and all the ROTC, and other stuff. Everything happened right there of course, that’s where they sell the beer, that’s where they sell the food, that’s where they sell school stuff, and the campus restaurant is there too.

It’s funny because when I was going home, I was following the road that I know as I ride my bike down this road many times and I knew that there was a trail through the woods at the end. And of course you know somebody was there, like just another pedestrian passing by, and he knew where I was going. Yeah, there’s a way through, but when I got to the end of the trail and there was all this concrete and the path was all blocked off and he came down to show me there was a hatch. 

Yes, once again the old path was still there as I remembered, but there was a doorway through it. It was incredible to see so much detail. I’m certain it was so specific for a reason. It was so funny because he saw me biking up and showed me the way through, like he knew me too. I went back home and he lived just around the corner or something and just recognized it all, but I was gonna be lost even if I’ve been there before because I didn’t exactly know how things had changed. And it was so remarkable because he led me in and opened-up the hatch and I went through. It was like this little room that you could put on a suit or uniform on or something to get through to the next section.  

Whatever it was, I don’t know, it was like weird and then someone else popped in and I was like oh OK? And he put on this uniform, when he did whatever he was supposed to do, and he went on and I was like; “oh get it, I just saw it” and it was just so common and anyone could do it. I mean it’s just so funny to have this clear specific dream that is so real and you know you get all the colors as you get all the details (wow, some red uniform . . . lol…).  I got to duck under this edge through the hatch you know, and it was all just such a trip to experience. It was so funny because it was a little Chinese kid and he didn’t know exactly where he had to go or exactly what to do when he got there. But there was somebody waiting with money and direction on the other side already, and I was like, oh OK. I gotta do this too, just like the first time the guy was laughing at me on the line in the cafeteria. 

You know it was just such a fast powerful dream and as I stopped to think now recording it, because you know whenever I have a dream that’s so powerful like this, I try to get as much detail written down as I can.  I mean I’ve had some whoppers that changed lives that I only discovered decades later: http://www.starsusa.org/homestead/files/Dreams.htm I don’t know about you, but you know when you only remember little fragments, and you write it out, then you start to remember more little details. And as you write more, you know more and remember, like I kept going back to the cash register at the very beginning, and it wasn’t really a cash register. Something more automatic and digital I’m sure, instead of the cash register I remember from an earlier time I was there. It was just like a funny aspect because I remembered the room. I remember the person there and I remember asking her for what I wanted. She just laughed because she could tell I was in the wrong place looking for the wrong thing, and that was that. 

It was my first time there and she was laughing at me because she was like, oh that was here 1000 years ago. You need something else now, and it was just like she already knew my challenges. And then I saw my buddy, whomever from wherever, that was there in the next line and knew me ready. “Oh you need to come over here” and he’s already on the next line helping me over just like she said. So he’s like, you know these people behind me, whatever it was and they’re like you know you need to get in front of us and I was like yeah of course I’m coming over to go along with them . . . 

seemed kind of weird that talking

After my last post, I commented on it about the tears that jumped out at me. In 2008 or so, Kimberly taught me how to cry again. I didn’t realize how significant that was until I was watching The Chosen this week. Yes, I watched from season two through to four. I noticed that whenever there was a piece where the words came right out of the Bible, it put me into tears.

Yes, my body would naturally break down into tears when I heard versus directly from the Bible. Of course, the whole series put The Bible into the context that I’ve never experienced before, but to have that intimate connection with the actual Words was incredible.

I Recognized this deeper connection, that I never understood before. I’m not sure if I understand it yet. But I certainly understand there’s a very deep intimacy between me and Jesus.

I never realized that it was something so special. Or I guess I never realized exactly who I shared my space with. I’ve always been in the same place.  And I’ve always known I was sharing, But I’m getting deeper and stronger realizations all the time.

I also recognize that there’s some level of responsibility and accepting some ability.  Which I know includes the writing and editing that I seem to do daily now. I’ve always known I could make things happen, and understanding what that means and why it Is something new?

As weird as it seems, last week I met Paster John for breakfast again. His YouTube videos are in the hundreds now,I since Covid and our first conversation over breakfast. I told him he needed to expand it now and start blogging or linking the videos to more of the written work he’s done. He clearly loved the idea and began explaining many pages of research and details he’s developed teaching Bible parables and other scenarios over his 30 years of preaching.

As weird as it sounds, he even started in Smithtown Long Island, where my cousins live. Of course, then I told him of other videos and preachers that I’ve recorded over the years too. I’ve got hundreds of hours of video that I’ve not even posted yet. I told him my first journal page was dated 1977 and publishing with advertisements and marketing was something I needed to start doing. Helping him with these things I’ve already done seemed great for both of us.

Last night, I had this powerful dream of being with somebody again. Yes, An intimate relationship with another woman. I was scheduled to go see Cathy today so I’m sure that’s what inspired it. What was weird about it was that I had been watching The Chosen all week so it was like I had been there with Mary or Martha who are Lazarus sisters in The Chosen, that look like Kathy and Marianne. Of course, having a Fat Ram again, wouldn’t surprise me at all. But to see this so vividly like being there in The Chosen was kinda weird. Uhg, I noticed I always say “weird” and it’s really “Incredible” or “Wonderful,” and it’s just happens so much I felt weird saying wonderful, super, great, and such all the time. . .  lol. . .  Yes, I’m literally “laughing out loud” to myself. 

I was so happy to see Cathy today, and we talked about how she’s finally retired and was cleaning things out getting ready to move on. I told her I was surprised we hadn’t gotten married because she was so wonderful with my children. She didn’t want to talk about my kids. I told her how all the pictures I had of the awesome experiences we had were pictures that she took… Cathy just laughed. She never knew my mother, but she wanted to take me to the Latin Mass. Evidently, the pope in Rome wants to prevent Latin mass at Catholic churches, and there’s only a few places that still do it. 

As incredible as it was, the place she took me to, to watch the Latin mass was within a mile of my old house in Seminole Heights, where we had raised my kids and lived for over 30 years.  She is still struggling to clear her karma and get healthy and strong, but told me talking about the children was reliving the past, that was done and gone now. That seemed kind of weird that talking about something wonderful and joyful wasn’t as important as resolving pains and suffering still trapped inside of her…. Yeah, that seems totally backwards to me!

We had breakfast and she told me about another church filled with over 700 Saint artifacts or “relics”… Course I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded neat so we went to see that too. .

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following Jesus on His terms

I love my routine that I started with Exodus 90 and the Catholic Church. I actually started with going to different services, but now I have some real habits starting every morning with the Exodus readings and these podcasts is awesome.

Let us remember that we are in the holy presence of God. Follow him in truth today. Take one minute of silencenow, praying for God’s blessing on you, your family, fraternity, and all Exodus Men.

Today on Exodus Judas shows us at least three ways in which we can make the mistake of fallowing a snake instead of Jesus.

First, by picking and choosing what we believe. Judas was following Jesus on his own terms. Judas did not trust in Jesus and his authority but instead considered his own opinions, and perhaps his feelings, as the measure of truth.

Second, by bringing about change according to our own plans and ideas instead of God’s. Some have speculated that Judas betrayed Jesus because he had a different view of what the Messiah was supposed to be. In other words, he believed Jesus was the Messiah but that his teachings were not what the people needed, so he accepted only what aligned with the plan he tried to force by his own hand. If we do not first let our minds and hearts be formed by God’s revelation, we are doomed to do the devil’s work.

Third, by seeking ourselves instead of God. St. John tells us that Judas, who kept the disciples’ money box, was a “thief” (John 12:6). Judas was seeking his own benefit even as he followed God. The root of the problem is that we are often ignorant of God’s Word and the Church’s teaching as it has been handed down to us. But also that we do not have an interior life. Without a life of prayer, our hearts and minds remain trapped in a worldly view based on the snake.

This is so powerful, and I know God only sends me Angels, and sometimes no one understands, except if they listen and worship in Spirit and Truth! lol, or do like Judas selectively reading, selectively listening, selectively choosing what’s easy to accept. 

The next morning podcast that came through began with Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me.” He- he’s not saying you’re going to seek me and I’m going to hide from you. When you seek me, you’re going to find me when you seek me with ALL your whole heart. 

Like Romans chapter 1, where it says that God has made within the heart of every man the desire to know Him. And it doesn’t matter how you were raised or what culture you’re from or what you were taught to believe. When our heart is being crushed, we know intuitively to turn to the One who made that heart, because we know, somehow, through the power of His spirit, that He’s the only One Who can heal it and redeem it . . . Beyond fear, beyond pain, beyond karma and the snake.

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/pursuing-our-untamable-god-part-1-of-2/ Romans 10:13 that says, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Everyone. A few verses higher it says that salvation is as near as your lips and your heart, and “if you profess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that He’s God, you will be saved.”

God is always painting a masterpiece, as referred to in Ephesians 2:10. And when we don’t like the current picture, all it means, and my wise sister tells me this, all it means is that, Kim, he’s not done yet. And so, in practicing pray, listen, do, I was working on a project. “Lord, I need frames. Where would you like me to go?” I’m just asking Him in. I’ve lived so much of my life on autopilot. “I know how to do this. I know how to do that. I know how to run this ranch and go grocery shopping, get fuel, buy coffee. Oh, but God, here is a spiritual part. I better ask You. I better pray.”

If you want to know the simplicity of the wild love and redemption of our God, it really is as simple as we pray, and we listen, and we do, and we just follow His spirit where His spirit wants to go. Jesus said Himself in John 4:23 and 24 that God is spirit. He’s looking for anybody, anybody who will worship Him in spirit and in truth!

feel the fire of the presence of the living God descending on them. “Don’t you know I love you? You’re My son. You’re My daughter. And if you were the only one, I’m coming for you, and I’m here right now reaching for you, My beloved. Will you reach back and take Me by the hand? I’ve got you. I’ve got you. And you are gonna make it. Will you call on My name and invite Me into your heart and your life to lead you through this time? I’ve got a plan. I’ve got a purpose, and it’s good because I am good. Can you feel My arms around you now? I love you so much. Let’s walk out these days together. And I will show you, side by side, My goodness and My wild love for you, My beloved.” Thank You, Jesus. Thank You that Your redemptive love knows no boundaries of men. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/pursuing-our-untamable-god-part-2-of-2/

Jesus Himself says, “My greatest commandment is to love God first and love each other and then share that love. That’s my greatest commandment.” He said it all through the gospels over and over and over. How can we cherry-pick around that? And I think that He calls us to come to Him as a child, in childlike faith.

Senseless pain only happens on this side of Heaven. Before our God, every pain has sense. He doesn’t ask us to understand the why. He only asks us to trust Him for it. And in the aftermath of that night, as I waved at her and her tail lights went down the driveway, the Lord allowed me to see His perspective, that my tragedy was needed to stop her tragedy. This is the wild perspective of our God. “I’m your light in the tunnel with you. Beloved, walk with me. I’ve got this. There’s always been a plan. Trust me for it.”

TRUST GOD FOR THE WILD OUTCOME!

Help me to pursue you!

Of course then I heard https://www.intouch.org/listen/ more more more insight into the Deep Truth of God and Love. Beyond the lies of the snake filled with deceptions. Living in the Will of God: https://www.intouch.org/listen/radio/when-plans-turn-to-ashes-part-1 

This started with Luke 15:11-24 God will allow you to get stuff, and acquire things beyond His Will. This is Gods Gift for you to Choose, a freedom that was given to us. YOU CHOOSE LOVE then it is real and valid. God gave us all a choice! Even if He knows you will make a wrong choice . . . You can have it now, no need to be patient and wait for God. All consequences are based on God, not man and not our interpretations. Satan is everything away from God . . . Fast easy is satan’s lies, that all turn into dust. 

Oh course then I heard more about God on theJoyFm.com where David Reads Psalm 31: in you oh Lord I put my trust… 

https://florida.thejoyfm.com/morning-cruise/home/2024/07/12/psalm-31-morning-devotion/

Psalm 8 what is man, that God is mindful of us… we are His Image, His children . . . Everything leading us into a fuller, truer, more real relationship and love with Jesus Christ!  

There is nothing else needed or required, just Love!

guiding me to do more every day.

 guiding me to do more every day.

10:51pm Tuesday 6/25/2024

Last night at the welcome meeting, we were talking about the scripture that Dan had prepared for us. It was a story of Jairus, asking to have his daughter healed, and then the woman who touched Jesus cloak and was healed in the crowds as they walked to Jairus’s Home.

I commented how wonderful it was to have this Bible verse review after watching the chosen (I still always cry seeing this scene). I mentioned how I was raised Methodist and had gone to countless classes and lectures, but the Bible never meant anything to me at all. But now to see and hear about these passages again, now they were so clear from The Chosen. They become so much more real, and viable for us.

It’s wonderful to share and talk about this with the men in our group. Everyone agreed and understood. Then this morning when I woke up doing the Exodus AP, and turned on the JoyFM. I listened to the Family Focus and then Charles Stanley doing my morning exercises. I was getting ready to leave to get to the men’s fraternity. Then I stopped to listen to the morning prayer at JoyFM, and Bill started speaking about watching the last episode of The Chosen.

He said how it ended with Lazarus and Jesus talking about the Old Testament, where Isaiah prophesied about Jesus, his death and suffering. Lazarus said that it was so powerful for him now because the words on the paper didn’t really mean anything, while Jesus sitting now before him was his friend (Isaiah:53).

It was really wonderful to have that experience of hearing that as I was biking to the men’s group. I remember biking home the night before, thinking I was just going to sleep and get up in the morning to bike back again. I realized how wonderful it was to have Jesus as my priority now. I really understood this and accepted it.

I realized I always sort of listen to Jesus, I never really knew what it was all about. But it was always very real for me to hear the voices, and understand the direction I was getting all the time. So after the rosary when the men’s group got together it was my turn to talk about my week.

I realize that week my spiritual director had confronted me about priorities and how getting a job was important. I really wasn’t concerned about it, as Jesus always provided for me. Of course, that same afternoon that I was confronted about a job, I got a call about a job with St Pete College. But the truth is Jesus is my priority taking my time to write now and share the truth of what Jesus does for me. 

I remember again when Christopher moved to Boston to get another degree. Kim and I took them to dinner at the Front Porch and we were just chatting and reminiscing about our times together. Then Kim told them about the new roof. She decided to buy the house from me and her mortgage company asked for a new roof.  It was Friday a week before the closing and I ran into a handyman next door fixing something for a neighbor. I just saw the truck and his tools as he was leaving and I asked him if he ever replaced a roof. He said no, but he had a buddy who did. The next day they visited and started replacing the roof. I agreed to five thousand for the new roof, but then had to run to Home Depot when they wanted to replace some boards.

Anyway, Kim was totally perplexed sharing this story. Who in their right mind waits until the last week to find a new roof? And then recruits a random stranger in the street. No quotes, no references, nothing but trusting divine providence. And then beyond all understanding, the roof was replaced that very weekend. Literally started on the next day. And I even got my homeowners insurance to pay for it, since the roof was leaking anyway. So then Kim closed on the sale Wednesday. . . But what it was all about is the life, that I’ve lived. . . Or always just lived, never really noticing that I did anything different from anyone else. 

I said to my Spiritual Director it’s much like I played basketball all my life and now with the Catholic Church I’m learning all the rules. Yes, it’s always been a relationship with Jesus. Like getting my truck fixed and knowing I have to get online and fix this writing that I started. Yes, Jesus asks me to write all the time. I need to record this experience I share with Him.

It’s always a challenge to write and think about what He does. But I’m always listening and trying to do whatever He wants me to do. I guess, He really wants me to take care of my house that He’s given me now. I’ve tried to do so many things around here that I can’t seem to get things done. Every day He is asking me to do more. Take care of the garden. Take care of the kitchen, take care of the pantry. and “Don’t forget to eat a real meal.” . . . . lol, yes and none of the processed crap . . . 

I know, more and more of our food system is getting corrupted and destroyed. I also know I’m gonna be feeding people more and more myself. It’s really something He’s told me about for a long time. Sometimes I kinda understand and sometimes I don’t. But I guess now again, I’m learning and growing. Like the experience with Kim and Christopher at the Front Porch, I never even noticed what happened, but just flowed through the experiences as I was Given, taking my place and responsibility, and TRUSTING IN FAITH! Kim really opened my eyes to so much, saying how I did that sort of things all the time. . . Which I’m still not sure I understand.

Thank you so so much Jesus for sharing this time with me. Thank you for this wonderful life, that You’ve given to me. Thank You for leading and guiding me to do more every day. I know You will always provide for me. I know that I’m always safe. I know You’re on Your way back. Please help me to be ready and listen and follow all You ask. For the glory, of Father Son and Holy Ghost, amen. 

6:54am Wednesday June 26th, 2024

As I got downstairs to start putting new shelves in my pantry. I brought my iPad and iPhone with me because I knew I had to edit this blog post and add links in. Yes, i couldn’t sleep without writing, and i just turned on my iPhone and spoke into it. . . Lol. . . “Period, new-line, new-line. . . “ So i knew it was full of errors. . . Oh, and adding links, as there is something about the real places and real experiences that makes reading this so much more real for people. . . Yeay, whatever!

So I got downstairs and plugged in my iPhone and turned on the radio again. . . And this song came on OUTLINING my Priorities AGAIN! . . . Lol, or my life story . . . 

The story of me was a story of shame
Wrong turns written on every page
So many parts that were so messed up
But I love the part where You showed up
Rewriting my past, rewriting my hurt
Line by line, word by word
And now my story is livin' proof
There's not a chapter that you can't use

My story, Your glory
My pain, Your purpose
My mess, Your message
In all things, I know You're workin'
One life, one mission
One reason why I'm livin'
All for You, not for me
My story, Your glory

Now the story of me is a story of grace
Fingerprints of mercy on every page
No more ashamed of the path I took
You set me free to be an open book
If even my scars are part of Your plan
Take all of my heart, Lord, here I am
My only cause 'til You call me home
Is knowin' You more and makin' You known

My story, Your glory
My pain, Your purpose
My mess, Your message
In all things, I know You're workin'
One life, one mission
One reason why I'm livin'
All for You, not for me
My story, Your glory

All of me, all for You
Let all I say and all I do
Point to the one who changed my life
And let me speak the legacy I leave behind

My story, Your glory
My pain, Your purpose
My mess, Your message
In all things, I know You're workin'
One life, one mission
One reason why I'm livin'
All for You, not for me
My story, Your glory

Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, , , , yes it looked this song up on my iPhone and “cut and pasted” from the iPhone to the IPad. . . . Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ You are the COOLEST!  Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to Achieve Your Glory. . . Amen.

Opposition added these links above . . . . Evidently it distracts you from the priority of the two links already there . . . . So again asking for the “word” Jesus in the voice in my head, so I’m sure I’m following directions, and move all the extra links here to find as needed. . .  

doing the Exodus AP, and turned on the JoyFM. I listened to the Family Focus and then Charles Stanley . -

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how I felt it was a done deal

What a wonderful life!

I’m always invited to the coolest things. Thankfully I’ve been in this class here in the Atrium at church where they are teaching people how to direct children to Jesus. It really seems so preposterous, since young children already know Jesus, and are really struggling to get into our world separated from Jesus by birth. I realize I kept Emily in Jesus by always asking her instead of telling her. . . And was so fascinated to learn what they did.

I’m never sure what I’m doing or what is next for me in this incredible blessing. I’m always perplexed by this. Like yesterday I was literally embarrassed when Dick asked about my to-do list wanting to know my priorities. He was very clear and focused on how “getting a job” and making some income was a critical top priority for our lives.

The one priority I’ve all but ignored all week. Then halfway through the day I got a call about coming in for an interview with St Pete College. It was kinda a surprise for me! I told Dick how I’d asked Richard for a recommendation at USF, and then the same day I got a note from HR that I was still listed for the job there.

I was just real about what happened and how I felt it was a done deal at USF. Dick said “hopes” don’t work with the business world, but numbers. I’ve always been provided for, and I guess I’ve seen this all my life, or more so, recognize it’s really “my life” to be provided for; and I shouldn’t question or anything, since it’s really just been so consistent.

I remember Kim’s story about the roof contractor who showed up the weekend before we closed, where the roof was required for closing, and I hadn’t even looked at it. Course, now I’m fumbling through all this technology wondering how I can get what I need done? It’s just not working for me. Like now I’m punching the tiny keys on my iPhone to get these words out, feeling this blog is my number one priority as well.

Once again it just seems so bizarre and astonishing to consider that my world and life is spinning around such trivia.

Yes we know Journalling for Jesus is really not trivia and really not something I even understand most of the time but I know it’s something I have to do and it never stops but grows more all the time!

that’s why you bring me here to write

OK, so I joined the ladies group, every Thursday I go to their class at Lisette’s house. Second or third class she said something about needing help with mass. I said I could help with anything but reading. So she offered to give me the training the next Tuesday after the men’s group.

I’ve done the service with mass now, four times. I guess the first was Thursday, with Father Kevin. And then Sunday with him again and Thursday again with Father Jonathan. Father Curtis sent me some Diocese classes to take regarding child, safety, and suicide prevention. I have no Wi-Fi at home so I’ve been in a coffee shop doing these the last couple days. I’m supposed to get fingerprinted, but I haven’t been able to get that done yet.

So last week, Todd mentioned in the men’s group that Mike’s wife Jesse was teaching a class. I knew Jesse runs the atrium for the church so I thought it might be related. I asked her about it as soon as I could and she sent me the details saying I needed to discus it with Father Curtis.

Course I have scheduled to see him today at 9am. And then Kevin will be here this morning for breakfast so I woke up really early. I have a big mess downstairs as I’ve been cleaning out my pantry. I had all these big heavy appliances on the top shelves, which was really stupid, so I’ve been cleaning it all out.

Then I finished the classes Fr Curtis gave me and started on the stuff from Jessie yesterday and it all hit me, that’s all I’ve ever done. 

Yes? Child safety, suicide, sex and such was all the things I survived to prepare for my own kids who walked into it all intentionally. Then my kids were raised in Jesus like the Atrium programs talks about. So it’s all stuff I’ve done and seen already!

So it’s more intimidating than ever. I’m so lucky I can talk about it with Kevin before I see Fr. Curtis. But still what am I gonna say, what am I gonna do?

Of course that’s why you bring me here to write!