Tuesday, November 5, 2024

102.2 SEEL: About coming into Eden

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Wow what a struggle today. I got outside this morning for the Sunrise, watered my plants and even cleared up a bit.Of course, everything else I tried to do has been a struggle. OH, EXCEPT WRITING HERE. Taking time to write about love and Jesus has been awesome joy and fun. The iPad and pen are a pain in the ass, but it is so wonderful to write in the moment when everything I see and feel is such a total blessing. I know that's why I need to write.

It's like considering the Hurricanes, I'm just immune to them. I never consider them an issue, but instead feel exempt. (Wow, check out the name on this one) Like something about them just doesn't apply to me. I guess, I've felt that about a lot of things. Not afraid of anything seems to come with that, or knowing that I always come out ahead. I joke about how crazy expenses show up only when I get a refund for something else, and it just has happened so much that I don't notice or worry anymore.

I guess that just happened yesterday with my hospital bills. And I certainly noticed and thanked Jesus immediately. I guess I am always thanking Jesus as it's just part of my daily experience. Like I think of going outside earlier and hearing the squirrels chirping at me. Yes of course I chirp back and revel in the fun conversation we have chirp, chirp, chirping. On yes so my next Bible verse is Genesis 1:26-2:9 Consider yourself as God's creation, as an incarnation, or image of God in a particular time, . . .   

So yea of course I am always protected and provided for, as I am the image of God, where all the Earth is at my feet that I may honor it all for the glory of God. I feel how that is what I have at hand now where all things honor God, and all my time and writing is to be and accept this moment with Jesus. And behold it is All - very GOOD!

Like with the Hurricanes I sometimes wonder about why this is so important. I know I have a very unique and keen ability to share and learn from my Angels. I talked about that some yesterday recognizing how it's on Guardian Angels that God has assigned to us for all our needs. And so I have been here so long with them that the experience and conversation is so very focused and contemplative. I never knew that word or what it was all about, until Mary spoke at my first class Saint Theresa's Nine Grades of prayer. Oh yes, I’m here about my latest class now that is SEEL:

Read Romans 8:18-25 (All creation is unfinished and yearns for fulfillment in God). Consider: What are the particular high-Lights or milestones of my life, including my life of faith? Note both the highs and the lows, the times of great hope and of challenge or "groaning.".
So what do I see as key high/lights or fulfillment, and my next step in experience and growth in this life of Faith. What more could I imagine as I love, and as I see so much already. Staying in the love and trust of Jesus is always the whole point and a major challenge for all us mortals, who choose to see with our own eyes and the cultural dynamics created by the propaganda of greed and selfishness. I guess, this is why I must write. Proud and boasting about beating the machine in my death bed, only to discover all is here waiting for us already, where we simply must choose to be the hands and heart of Jesus in each moment.

Yes, I learned that Stepping into Eden is really a choice! Where we choose to live as love and accept all things as gifts, everything can be perceived only as gifts and blessings from God. Yes asking for this Perspective of God and all knowledge opens up, while all fear falls away. Ok I confess I have always feared people reading this Journal as I'm very blunt and specific about many things that not many people will understand, or agree with. I recognize this might be why I'm all alone so much of the time. I have never been very interested in all that is useless in our culture. Then raised with narcissist and sarcastic bullies made me very defensive, and what, insecure maybe.

For it is right that we Praise the Lord: I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to grow and achieve as only you can imagine. And I guess this again is about coming into Eden. And where is this, or how can I live and teach here or where it is that I need to be. My next Bible verse is Psalm 33, yes so I'm back into my threes again, isn't that ideal. Consider: What am I waiting for? How is my heart filled with gladness

I guess this is funny too because I’m always coming back to where I seem to be waiting for someone. I know it’s really just Jesus, and there’s no one else I need, and no one else I should wait for. Nor should I really be waiting for anyone. Because the "Word of the Lord is good,” and I see so much in this Goodness everywhere that speaks to me today, beyond another set of threes there are the waters that He sets into motion. The day after our election I read here about how blessed is the nation of the Lord. This really resonates so strongly for me as RFK jr. endorsed Trump and stepped down the day after my Welcome presentation: Mom’s Sermon; which was repeated in his video with so much more focus and dignity than I could ever achieve.

Day six, Read Jeremiah 18:1-6 (We are like clay in the potter's hands). Consider: How do I find myself being shaped and molded by God now? How am I pliable or resistant? Wow, how strong and focused is this, where I just wrote about my Welcome Witness Presentation: Mom’s Sermon; that over took me. I struggled so much to get that done. After my own witness weekend where I cried through all my help letters hoping beyond hope, to find one from my son, but again and again I opened another from my fraternity brothers. And as I struggled through the last of that weekend I had thoughts that my prodigal son story was what I needed to share, only to find it was about those Fraternity Brothers and not about me. So it had to be my Mom's Sermon, which Fr. Kevin called for any way.

Yes, so like Jeremiah, God has been busy reworking this lump of clay that I am. I guess this means my next Welcome Witnessing might be something totally different. And now as I consider this, I realize how I've been slammed down on the wheel to be reworked hundreds of times. And now I recall how other brothers spoke about their transition in Christ. Over and over again men get lost in greed, alcohol, lust and all the other crap in our culture. And of course I went through all that too, returning as the prodigal after my motorcycle accident while in high school. And still I am getting slammed in bike accidents because I'm not listening to the details for each new task before me. This seems so far beyond understanding, and now as I write again, alone, late at night, spoiled rotten with sweet oranges and organic chocolates... I wonder what I needed to add here? Maybe I need to comment about age and immortality as I heard in this exodus message below. Oh Yes, immortal and healed with the oils from Exodus 30:22. . . More things to do!

Exodus reading this morning: The Book of Wisdom says, “God created man for incorruption . . . but through the devil’s envy death entered the world” (Wisdom 2:23–24).



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Monday, November 4, 2024

102.1 SEEL: Manna from Heaven today

 ok, lazy Sunday afternoon, and I stopped to write in my journal and I opened up my iPad and there’s a string of threes in front of me and it’s such a blessing to have the Trinity show-up right in my face. Jesus loves getting right in my face. Of course, he told me to go write. Open it up and there it is: 333 333 113 31 over and over again, it’s such a beautiful thing. I always feel such love and joy and happiness when I get the Trinity right in my face. I always love it when I do the silliest little things that seem so useless. It’s always about me following directions, it’s not about what’s useful and not useful. As if I could ever really know anyway.

I have been really out of it. I'm sore and tired. Alone and bored, feeling sorry for myself. It's funny how I blame my aches and pains for everything. Not doing anything and using that as an excuse. I have to do taxes and research and find files and write letters. I mean, Bonnie even got a thousand dollar invoice and I need to certify a request next. Oh, and the taxes are for my hospital bills.

 

Uhg, I finally reported my bike accident to USAA last week. And now I found an email from them and also I found a hospital email to request financial help. When an opened the hospital email up it had already been filled out and all the fees were written off. Oh, that's nice. So Jesus stepped in and fixed everything for me again. And I'm totally perplexed again, messing with this iPad. It keeps getting stuck on words I write. Now I can write again, but it will randomly get locked holding onto something. Then I can’t move until I accept whatever change it wants, then hit “undo” and I can write again! Why does it hold the last word? Sent another apple beta feedback!

 Yes Sunday, and I've been doing SEEL all week again. So now I need to put it all together. Last week I read everything before I started to blog so it was rushed. Starting earlier is important, as I can really get focused and specific to expand my relationship with You!. Thank you Dearest Love Lord Jesus Christ. To honor this time and priorities in this moment with You. Yes, we have the next Bible verse Psalm 8 Consider: Who has helped me get to this point in my faith journey

Oh this is interesting how much help I've received on my Faith Journey from All Saint Raphael’s Parish! As I've always written and spoken to Jesus about it. And I know Jesus and God are the “ALL IN ALL” wanting only our Joy and Love with Him. There are countless Saints and Angels who are with us all the time waiting for us to ask for something. Like my conversations recently about prayers for wisdom and guidance, it is really about talking with our Guardian Angels. Asking is Loving the Father! And so I've remembered how it is really about learning how much God has done for us. And recognizing that he's done it ALL for us. Recognize the Beauty and Grace that abounds us and then also be humble and grateful for all He's given and shared with us so we can listen and praise Him by sharing each moment with Him.. . . . Asking and then honoring with praise and gratitude!

Of course, this first reading of Psalm 8 was on the morning after All Saints Day and the celebration Jim hosted for Kevin. I really did not want to go to church and was whining about pain and being sore. I realized how much l try to connect and always talk about getting more engaged and involved with this Catholic Community. Yes, so it was really important that I get out, so I had to go. And of course, I was really grateful that I did. Several other guys from the Men's Fraternity were there too . . . Including Joe, who asked the fraternity about getting a car for his daughter, after her’s was lost with the hurricane. . . lol, I thought of Leslie’s son Elliot . . . 

The deepest blessing here is how I need to recognize how important it is to help others. And discovered I had never replied to Joe about a car and also building Grandma Gracie’s Farms as a casino. A second ball I dropped after our first Welcome Retreat when I had mentioned it to him. And this really means I must both listen and understand! Not just be polite and offer a connection, but then to follow up as well and make it real! I must respect where each individual is and share the spirit as I am seeing before me. Like when Jim’s sons came in to bring pizza for Kevin’s Celebration . . . The dog was so direct and focused with them, which came through to me so strongly that l said it was clear he had a good father, since his direction and love with the dog was equally as golden. lol, it’s so weird trying to remember the conversation that happened in the split second and I said something about college and he was doing biology thinking about a PhD. Tuesday at the Exodus meeting, John also mentioned he was looking at a Phd at USF! He even had spoken to Dr. fountain about it. Ha, I remember now that Dr. Fountain was on my PhD Committee. So then I sent something to John about Phd’s and connecting with professors with Google Scholar and I had to copy it to Kevin and Jim now because of sharing it there as well!

Wow, yes and I remember my note to John was how Professor John had hired me after realizing we were both on the same page, from different sides of the fence, him in the ivory tower of course and me in the dirt. Obviously, John and I had a great conversation and a half after Exodus. I remembered that Professor John had paid for my PhD Because he hired me to work for the Journal. And my first experience with the Journal was connected to GOD bringing mankind back to nature with Theocentrism Discussed in an American machine management journal! WOW!!Yes, Psalms Eight sharing how everything has been a gift from God and my choice is always to honor GOD, going out of my way to post this article link here now for you to enjoy another blessing honoring this random synergy in Jesus.

Now the next verse is Psalm 104, Consider: Where do I see this awesome glory revealed in my life and the larger world? And in all truth, l see the glory of God all around me, in everything I see. Like the experience with Jim’s dog and sons. I have chosen to see God‘s perspective in all experiences rough and easy! His Love Is in this moment that I write on my iPad and this beauty of the night breeze blowing over me as I write. Again I see his love and glory everywhere and all around me. Like how earlier in the week Jim offered to go food shopping for me, and here alone at night l harvested purple sweet potatoes from my front yard, and made myself my steak dinner. I actually called Leslie to invite her over to share with me, since I know I made so much and she’s been struggling as much as I have!

 

Psalm 104 speaks again about the beauty and majesty of our world and experience that is shared bringing out the waters of life again and again. Where else would I be, of course it’s always about waters moving flowing and being so much more beyond the riches of the world. And it all makes me sing. And I am hungry to praise and glorify GOD.

Funny as I read and wrote here of waters. I remember Jim's house and listening to the conversations between the men. They were still speaking of the Floods and how devastating it has been and will continue to be. And I mentioned how many people have posted to LinkedIn about these floods and all the complaints and I couldn't help myself but comment on how it's all about man's greed and control. Fallow the money! We have a car that controls our culture and all the roads fill with water and all the floods come down the Roads. But we still build them and complain about the floods because we can't evolve beyond the car. Pathetic people all addicted to the car and the control of a car not wanting to even try another way to move. Funny, I never mentioned how my post to Linkedin referred to the solution l dreamed up with my motorcycle accident in high school. Yes, my old high school Dream Jesus gave me, that won the Disney awards, and everyone tried to copy. But never asked me, so never were successful. Course I filed a patent on it in college too, and still no one noticed. . . 



Wednesday, October 30, 2024

101 SEEL: Allows me to offer these up to Jesus


New SEEL week One: “Spiritual Exercises for Everyday Living” begins again. Of course, it's Page 2 in the book that has my first Highlight, now bolder, darker and needing more attention… “To whom much is given, much is expected.” . . . and it's really something that I've known and tried to come to terms with for a while since I’m so blessed here!

I mean, everything new that I learn in the Catholic Church has really explained and put context to things I've done before. It's been like hearing the hidden secrets that I had stumbled into through trial and error. I still remember Mary first speaking about a powerful experience with Contemplative Prayer and Jesus during my first class: Saint Theresa of Avila’s Nine Grades of Prayer. Mary reminded me of a similar experience, and I just chimed in after her explaining my own. Once again it was more about understanding and realizing what it was all about. It just slammed me that moment, and I likely interrupted her with my big mouth all excited to share. This was also when Lisette realized she's in this deep Contemplative Prayer with Jesus all the time.  Once again this was revealing to me, as with her, when we talked about it again earlier this month . . . and I suddenly realized how my life of prayer was always started asking for Wisdom "ppp" = “Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to,” with the Wisdom Lessons and Exodus Speaking it was all the same that we shared.

Now the Theme we started with in this SEEL Week One was all about the Unconditional Love of God.

And as I read this first passage from the Bible to pray about, it felt like it was written just for me. . . calling me forward into His LOVE from the "Waters and Rivers" where I have lived for 30 years. I know I was blessed to be "Moving Rivers" for so long as a civil engineer. And I guess I'm sorta in wonder as I consider what I did. I could some how feel into the dynamic systems of the rivers that allowed me to change and move them. It really wasn't rocket science, I simply changed system elements to see what happened, and then used flowrate and elevation charts to define what worked best. It was what always worked for me, trial and error again, like everything else I learned in my whole life.

But now I read about God calling me by name away from this life moving rivers. A year ago when I first started SEEL, I was distracted back into modeling rivers for maybe 6 months. Of course, the day before I was supposed to start work, I got into a bike accident, so you think I would have known it wasn't right for me. But that same work is what brought me to St Pete as well, again lasting for about 6 months when I moved into start a new office before Covid hit closing it. Now I've started teaching again, and have been trying to stay away from Rivers. Of course, I got a call yesterday about helping with a model for $30k. What's funny about this, is doing the midnight models like this allowed me to play with my kids 24/7. I was totally blessed to be able to spend so much time with my children, so extra cash now might be good too.

Now it's really been about spending the time with Jesus. And now again I'm sore and tired from another bike accident. It's my third bike accident in thirty years. I remembered my first on campus at USF in Tampa. Then my second last year on 9/11/2023, labor day before I was planning to work again. And now it was 10/2/24 that I got smashed again.  All I know about it now, was that I needed to slow down more.

My son told me to stay alone in my new house. And I soon realized it was about sharing more deeply in the Unconditional Love of Jesus. I kept trying to find a way to share this, Airbnb and whatever else I could think of. And I guess I need to stop searching or trying to "find a way" to share and Love as only Jesus could express this through me. I'm certainly never going to "plan something" suitable to the power and passion that Jesus Has for me. I still jump on inspirations and thrive on the divine guidance I see in every moment. 

Yes, I know this week I'm trying not to move, and stay relaxed and at ease for my body to heal. Course I know I've beaten pain all my life. I mean, I can't count the times I've been hit, punished, cut, hurt, beaten into blood & bruises. I was always surprised I never broke a bone. But now I've cut my head for a second time. But still I've always been able to muscle through pain, and know that's just who I am.   

Of course, the next Bible Verse is about the Providence of God where three times he says to avoid even the thought of needing something. And as with these aches and pains from my latest bike accident, I know they are temporary and insignificant. . . . Sorta like the thought for food, clothing, or thoughts of any desire, are simply a waste of time and effort. While all thoughts and efforts must be towards the Kingdom of God, and all else will be provided. And again it's a verse that's been written for me. Like calling me by name to step away from the rivers. Now again I've been given so much Blessing from the Kingdom of God that I have no need or desire for anything, trusting in the Providence of God.

Again this is the critical challenge of seeking God's Perspective and Wisdom for this moment in my own Spiritual Growth. I've written many times about this too. Understanding that seeking first the Kingdom brings me back to the very first line I wrote here. . . “To whom much is given, much is expected” . . . so even now as I recover from another bike accident. I suffer through aches and pains knowing this allows me to offer this suffering up to Jesus and accept this time of peace and solitude as more time to study, learn and grow in Jesus, again God's Providence giving to me.

This next Bible verse brings me back again to knowing the experience of God's Providence carrying me through the "Waters of Life." I know each day I'm protected and carried. Even with another Bike accident, where I accept the lesson to slow down more and focus on what's important. Knowing it is all in the Love of God and carrying me forward. Course with muscling through the pains of being bullied all my life, I've always known I'd be fine, I'm safe and protected. This obviously doesn't mean, I avoid all troubles and pains, but they all come and go where I'm always growing and coming out stronger than before.

Now the next Bible Verse for this first week of SEEL is Psalms 131. This is about being at peace in the Lord . . . I guess this is why I've been able to come this far. I know I'm always protected, I know I'm Loved and Guided by God. I know it will all come out fine in the Providence of God. Sure I get impatient and try to do what I think I need to do next. And this has been my focus here alone in this house. Yes it's a big beautiful house so I thought I needed to share it and open the doors to everyone. Clearly that wasn't the best thing for me, or what was necessary. 

Of course, this leads into the next verse this week in SEEL. It's not something for me to know, but to trust and accept that GOD KNOWS. Again this bring me back to the Kingdom First. Trusting and knowing in God's Providence where all things come through God. Its not my work or will, or desire that brings things forth for me, but it's all in God's Hands. . . again trusting in the Providence of God. Trusting this Unconditional Love of God!

Wow, I'm listening to the Intouch ministry on the JoyFM.com radio this morning. God repeats Himself for us to learn and grow by being obedient in God. It takes courage to listen and follow. 



Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Wisdom Dwells in Us Sirach 24:1-12

 Brother, welcome to Exodus.

We continue our series on Bl. Karl of Austria, "The Emperor of Peace," with a presentation by Fr. Boniface Hicks, OSB, our upcoming spiritual guide for Exodus 90. Tune in to learn more about the last Catholic Emperor and how he serves as a model of holiness for men in the modern world. 

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Let us remember that we are in the holy presence of God. Seek the eternal wisdom that dwells among God’s people today. Take one minute of silence now, praying for God’s blessing on you, your family, fraternity, and all Exodus Men.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me bring love. Where there is offence, let me bring pardon. Where there is discord, let me bring union. Where there is error, let me bring truth. Where there is doubt, let me bring faith. Where there is despair, let me bring hope. Where there is darkness, let me bring your light. Where there is sadness, let me bring joy. O Lord, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love, for it is in giving that one receives, it is in self-forgetting that one finds, it is in forgiving that one is forgiven, it is in dying that one awakens to eternal life. Amen.

Wisdom makes her abode in the communion of saints.

A Reading from the Book of Sirach

Wisdom will praise herself and is honored in God, and will glory in the midst of her people. In the assembly of the Most High she will open her mouth, and in the presence of his host she will glory. In the midst of her people she is exalted; in holy fulness she is admired. In the multitude of the chosen she finds praise, and among the blessed she is blessed, saying: “I came forth from the mouth of the Most High, the first-born before all creatures. I ordained that an unfailing light should arise in the heavens, and I covered the earth like a mist. I dwelt in high places, and my throne was in a pillar of cloud. Alone I have made the circuit of the vault of heaven and have walked in the depths of the abyss. In the waves of the sea, in the whole earth, and in every people and nation I have gotten a possession. Among all these I sought a resting place; I sought in whose territory I might lodge.

”Then the Creator of all things gave me a commandment, and the one who created me assigned a place for my tent. And he said, ‘Make your dwelling in Jacob, and in Israel receive your inheritance, and among my chosen put down your roots.’ From eternity, in the beginning, he created me, and for eternity I shall not cease to exist. In the holy tabernacle I ministered before him, and so I was established in Zion. In the beloved city likewise he gave me a resting place, and in Jerusalem was my dominion. So I took root in an honored people, in the portion of the Lord, who is their inheritance, and my abode was in the full assembly of the saints.

Reflection

We hear today that Wisdom will praise herself in the assembly of the Most High. In this, we see again that wisdom is a divine reality, intimately connected with God himself and given to us to share. Before we act or speak, we’re called to listen to this divine Wisdom to attune ourselves to her voice in the depths of our being.

Wisdom comes forth from the mouth of the Most High, echoing the creation narrative of God speaking the world into existence. This connection between Wisdom and creation reminds us that the entire universe is infused with God’s wisdom. And this can help liberate us from a narrow, self-centered perspective and renew the wonder of childhood. We’re invited to see the world through the lens of divine Wisdom, recognizing God’s fingerprints in nature, in human creativity, in our lives, and the unfolding of history.

The image of Wisdom covering the earth like a mist speaks to her all-pervasive nature. Just as mist can fill every crevice and coat every surface, divine Wisdom is available to us in every situation and circumstance of our lives. This spurs us to be ever more attentive, seeking God’s wisdom not just in moments of quiet reflection, but in all of daily life, in our work, our relationships, and especially in our challenges.

Wisdom’s dwelling in the pillar of cloud hearkens back to God’s guidance of the Israelites in the wilderness. Wisdom is not static, but dynamic: watching over, guiding, and protecting us on our journey through life. For Exodus men navigating the complexities of modern life, Wisdom is the pole star showing us the path to our heavenly Father through the way of the Lord.

The description of Wisdom’s journey through creation, seeking a resting place, culminates in her choosing to dwell in Israel, specifically in Jerusalem. This localization of Wisdom’s presence doesn’t limit her but rather emphasizes the importance of community and tradition in our pursuit of wisdom. It challenges us to root ourselves in a community of faith, to engage deeply with our spiritual heritage, and to recognize the value of the shared wisdom of the tradition handed down to us.

The image of Wisdom taking root among God’s people challenges us to consider. How deeply rooted are we in divine Wisdom? Are we like trees planted by streams of water, drawing continual nourishment from God’s presence? Or are we more like tumbleweeds, blown about by every wind of doctrine or cultural trend?

For leaders, whether in our families, workplaces, or communities, Sirach’s portrayal of Wisdom offers great guidance. We’re called to lead not trusting in our own powers, perseverance, or wit, but by cooperating with the all-powerful and wise God. True greatness comes not from our own abilities, but from joining ourselves to God’s wisdom and purposes.

Remember, brothers, that the pursuit of Wisdom is not an abstract intellectual exercise, but a lived relationship with the triune God. Allow God’s wisdom to permeate every aspect of your life, shaping your character, guiding your decisions, and transforming your relationships.

Let’s be men who are known for our pursuit of divine Wisdom. With so much superficial opinion and malign influence surrounding us, let our lives stand as testimonies to the enduring power and relevance of God’s wisdom.

Wisdom makes her abode in the communion of saints.

Let us pray.

Eternal Father of Lights, we praise you for the gift of Wisdom, who delights the children of men. You have ordained wisdom as an unfailing light in the heavens, sent to cover the earth like a mist. May we, illuminated by your Holy Spirit, recognize the voice of wisdom, and provide a dwelling place for her in our hearts. Let us be counted among the blessed in whom she finds praise. As we journey through this earthly life, Let wisdom be our constant companion and guide that we may dwell in the full assembly of the saints, and find our portion in you, our eternal inheritance. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, your Wisdom and Power made flesh. Amen.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Friday, October 25, 2024

Wisdom brings gladness

Brother, welcome to Exodus.

St. John Henry Newman, whose feast we celebrate today, passionately sought the truth, even when it upended his life. He followed God's prompting into the fulness of faith handed down to us through the apostles, giving up his prestigious position and friends in Oxford. Newman models the cost and rewards of seeking God's wisdom above all things, enabling him to become a shining light to others. 

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Let us remember that we are in the holy presence of God. Seek God's wisdom and let it guide your words and actions today. Take one minute of silence now, praying for God’s blessing on you, your family, fraternity, and all Exodus Men.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me bring love. Where there is offence, let me bring pardon. Where there is discord, let me bring union. Where there is error, let me bring truth. Where there is doubt, let me bring faith. Where there is despair, let me bring hope. Where there is darkness, let me bring your light. Where there is sadness, let me bring joy. O Lord, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love, for it is in giving that one receives, it is in self-forgetting that one finds, it is in forgiving that one is forgiven, it is in dying that one awakens to eternal life. Amen.

Wisdom brings gladness and a crown of rejoicing.

A Reading from the Book of Sirach

The man who fears the Lord will do this, and he who holds to the law will obtain wisdom. She will come to meet him like a mother, and like the wife of his youth she will welcome him. She will feed him with the bread of understanding, and give him the water of wisdom to drink. He will lean on her and will not fall, and he will rely on her and will not be put to shame. She will exalt him above his neighbors, and will open his mouth in the midst of the assembly; she will fill him with a spirit of wisdom and understanding, and clothe him with a robe of glory. He will find gladness and a crown of rejoicing, and will acquire an everlasting name. Foolish men will not obtain her, and sinful men will not see her.

She is far from men of pride, and liars will never think of her. A hymn of praise is not fitting on the lips of a sinner, for it has not been sent from the Lord. For a hymn of praise should be uttered in wisdom, and the Lord will prosper it.

Reflection

Sirach paints a vivid picture of the relationship between wisdom and those who seek her, offering us a profound insight into the nature of true freedom and fulfillment. As men striving to live lives of purpose and integrity, these words challenge us to reconsider our understanding of wisdom and its role in our spiritual journey.

The passage begins by describing the man who fears the Lord and holds fast to the law. This fear isn’t a cowering dread, but a reverent awe that recognizes God’s sovereignty and goodness. It’s a posture of humility and openness, acknowledging that true wisdom comes not from our own intellect or experience, but from God Himself. Before we act, before we speak, before we decide, we’re called to turn our hearts toward God, seeking understanding as sons at the feet of our all-wise Father.

Sirach then personifies Wisdom as a mother and a virgin bride, embracing and nourishing those who seek her. This imagery speaks to the intimacy and life-giving nature of our relationship with divine wisdom. It’s not a cold, detached knowledge but a warm, nurturing presence that shapes our character and guides our steps. As we cultivate this relationship with Wisdom, we find ourselves growing not just in knowledge but also in virtue and discernment.

The fruits of this relationship with Wisdom are described in rich detail. Those who embrace her are fed with the bread of understanding and given the water of wisdom to drink. This nourishment isn’t just for our minds but for our souls. It sustains us through challenges, refreshes us in times of weariness, and enables us to see the world through God’s eyes. And having embraced divine wisdom, we will show forth to a spiritually malnourished culture a deep, soul-level sustenance that is profoundly attractive.

Sirach then goes on to describe how Wisdom exalts and glorifies those who hold fast to her. This isn’t about worldly fame or success, but about being lifted up in character and spiritual stature. As we grow in wisdom, we find ourselves standing firm amidst life’s storms, able to navigate complex situations with grace and discernment. This elevation isn’t for our own glory but equips us to be more effective servants of God and others. One of the most powerful promises in this passage is that Wisdom will never abandon those who seek her. In a world full of uncertainties and shifting allegiances, the steadfast nature of Wisdom offers us an anchor for our souls. This promise encourages us to persevere in our pursuit of wisdom, even when the journey is difficult or the benefits aren’t immediately apparent.

As we embrace divine wisdom, we naturally begin to detach from worldly measures of success and fulfillment. We learn to hold our plans and possessions lightly, trusting in the guidance of Wisdom rather than our own schemes. This detachment isn’t about becoming passive or disengaged, but about finding our security and identity in God rather than in temporal things. It means being open to the possibility that God might be leading us in unexpected directions.

In our decision-making, we can practice pausing to seek wisdom before rushing to action. This might mean waiting on a decision that others are pressuring us to make, or being willing to change course when we sense God leading us in a new direction. It means having the courage to choose the wise path even when it’s not the easy or popular one. In our relationships, embracing wisdom means striving to see others as God sees them—as bearers of his image. It also entails responding to conflicts with patience and understanding rather than reactive, escalating anger. It means being willing to offer gentle correction when necessary, and to receive it humbly when offered to us.

Brothers, let’s commit to being men who ardently pursue divine wisdom. We can create space in our lives for deep contemplation and reverent seeking. Let’s have the courage to align our lives with God’s wisdom, even when it goes against the grain of our culture. As we do, we’ll find ourselves growing in true freedom—the freedom to live fully as the men God has created us to be, empowered by His wisdom to make a lasting impact in our world.

Wisdom brings gladness and a crown of rejoicing.

Let us pray.

O Lord, fount of all wisdom and understanding, grant, we implore you, hearts that yearn for your wisdom, that she may come to us as a nurturing mother, and welcome us as a bride in the fullness of youth. May we, strengthened by your grace, stand under your wisdom and never stumble, finding in it our support and our glory. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who is Wisdom Incarnate and the crown of all the saints, and who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever. Amen.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Friday, September 20, 2024

Welcome Retreat, wow ten pm!

Everybody needs to know, this is the transcript of my conversation with my spiritual director:

He's somebody else you talk to, huh? Someone else that visits you Yeah. You've talked to him for years too? 
Yeah, Jim is the guy who called me John the Baptist. 
When he first said that, I mean, the very first time he said it, he didn't give any detail, but this last month or two, I don't remember where we were, whether it was the witness or the exodus. He said very specifically how he reacted to the very first time he saw me and I wasn't just planting something. 
I was like pulling something out or I was saving some little cricket or some little animal or something and I don't remember what exactly he said, but he walked up and he saw me saving this little insect or a bug or a snail or something and it was very real.  It jumped out at him very strongly and the way he told that story was just so beautiful and I was just so flattered. I've always thought he was a great guy anyway, but for him to be so specific and so detailed was really wonderful.

Visiting my Mangroves
Belonging, I belong here
  • Belonging, I belong here
  • Worthy, I deserve this
  • Competence, I can do it, self confidence in skills and abilities.

OK, so I realize this last two week has been wicked powerful. I haven’t written anything about how quickly things have changed. I’m not sure where to start. So here's a clip from Charles Stanley, and then back to the Spiritual Director transcript.

That would turn into scripture in second Peter chapter 1 versus 20-21. We’re reminded that no prophecy of scripture comes from someone’s own imagination, or someone’s own interpretation. But all prophecy is not produced by the world of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit, so what we have in the New Testament is the result of God‘s promise to His people that is consistent with His character throughout the Old Testament.

We have a culture and a standard of human authors that ensure that what we hold in our hands as a Bible is the word of God. The words of Jesus were given to us by his early church. You see this in Act 2:42 as they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and not to other things. I’ll just pause it right there, they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching. This was the key for which books made it into the New Testament. Where do they have the mark of Apostolic Authority on them. These and these alone would make up our New Testament so there’s three reasons why you should trust the word of God that you hold in your hands, even in a skeptical culture, the Word of God is the power of the promise of God in your life. That’s why you should cling to his truth and let it be a refuge for your life. 
 
We are thankful for your word today. I pray that you would help us to allow that word deep inside to be that lamp to our feet that lied into our path. Praying for the people in our prayer center who is lifting up what they consider a blocked Spiritual. 

Start with the prayer with my Spiritual Director transcript . . . 
That's the best part.

Heavenly Father we our grateful for your many graces and blessings, help us to develop a deeper and more profound sense of gratitude for you. Help us to develop our sense of awareness, so that we take less and less for granted and we become more acutely aware of your great grace, and all the benefits you have given us as we pursue our lives, living up to your desires and expectations for us. Help us to be ever mindful that you are ever present. Help us to stay connected to you. Help us to overcome our weaknesses and develop our strengths in relationships and love. As Saint Teresa says, to be your hands and feet on earth and all that we do and that we become a model just as your son was a model when he was here on earth. That we model for people a better life. That we model for people love and healthy relationships and connectivity that we become less and less self-absorbed. Give us the strength and courage to pursue all these things and know that without your great grace, none of this is possible, and we pray these things in your most loving son's name, Amen. 

Oh yes coffee, sorry. 
Well it was kind of funny that was something that happened with Kevin. When he first started coming here for breakfast. I have an espresso machine and I would only use it once a month for guests. Then every time Kevin came here, that was the first place he went. You know, of course I'd start making breakfast or whatever; and I'd follow him sooner or later for coffee too. Then I realized, dang it, it's faster, it's easier. I mean, I'd always just heat water and use instant, you know, I have done that forever. 
And I got the machine just for guests, you know; and since Kevin started, I just decided that it's better to make it using that machine every morning now. I mean, honoring my time with you now, and honoring myself with these gifts from Jesus.

I realized like, it's not just better tasting coffee, and it's faster anyway. You know, I am the engineer, always wanting to be fast, focused and clear and it's like, dang, it's faster. So it's just interesting how things shift and I thanked Kevin several times for changing my life. Like I’ve started making the big breakfast with the cheese and veggie omelette for myself. And so we had our Welcome weekend retreat this last weekend and I can tell you how crazy the whole week was. 
It really was. I mean Thursday the day before, I had my check clear in the bank at 8am, so I had all my bills paid by ten. At noon, the bank tells me to check bounced. 
So all my bills that I just paid are going to bounce too, and I just like freaked out.
Ussepa island visit

I called the bank and tried to figure it out. Okay, what the heck can I do? I found another thousand dollars and moved some money around, but I'm still in the red. 
I still haven't gotten that check to clear. You know, she wrote me a check when I was in that island, and I deposited it right then online and then waited for the week that it took for it to clear. So it still hasn't cleared and I still don't know what's going on. 
But anyway, so that's the way Thursday morning started and then my iPad died. 

Yes, I was up with Apple until 10 o'clock at night Thursday because everything I had done for the Welcome Retreat was on my iPad. I was like, oh okay Jesus, I guess satan is out to stop me, or whatever it was. 
I was like fine, what’s new. I'm getting slammed and I know Jesus is with me so I will always get through anything. Oh yea, I sent my Witness write-up to the guys, so I could find it in my emails. I still had to put all the music together for the event. Yes, at the Monday meeting I said I could help with the music, so they gave me the list of songs and I started putting them on the iPad, so that I had everything ready. . . Yes, everything ready on the now dead iPad!

Friday morning, I woke up at dawn again, even though I was only asleep a couple hours and I started putting everything together and got out there. 
I mean, I was there early. We were supposed to get there at 4 o'clock to help setup, and I was out there at three. That whole weekend was really powerful. Everybody got a lot out of it including each one of us. There were essentially 10 people on the team and then 24 guests. 
The whole group was 34 and each one of us had a table of six, so me and Todd shared a table of six guys. It was over about lunchtime on Sunday and we stayed there until five or six cleaning up and sitting there talking about it and everything.

Each one of us had noticed somebody at our table who really had a powerful experience with the Holy Spirit where they recognized, “hey, I need to step into this more.” The next Tuesday morning there were two new guys at our Exodus 90 group from the Welcome Retreat. 
So that was positive too. When I did my witness presentation, I was the last one Saturday night. I think I didn't even start talking until like 10 o'clock. 
Yeah, so I was so fried. All I could do was read the paper and I skipped paragraphs and I skipped paragraphs and I skipped, just because I just wanted to make sure I finished it. I really felt like crap. 
I didn't feel like I did what I needed to do. I didn't feel good about it at all. Three or four guys said something to me specifically, so it was cool because it resonated with someone.

When I prayed about it the next day, the message I got was that the one comment that Jim told me, made it all worth it. He and I have been through a lot over the whole experience. He was one of the guys that was there at the first year of the Exodus 90 group and I remember when he first saw me, he always used to joke that I was John The Baptist. 
He actually saw me planting mangroves, because he lived in the neighborhood. When I bike out and I play in the mangroves and stuff, that's like down the street from his house and so he had seen me out there a few times and walked up to me. It was interesting because he said that specifically in one of our meetings, how he ran into me out there. 

He said this guy reminded him of John the Baptist playing in the woods, taking care of the bugs and the bees out in the wild. And I always thought that was the greatest compliment I'd ever got. And he repeated it a few times. 
I mean he said the story about how his first experience in seeing me outside and running into me there. You know, because I literally had a big grey beard and my hair was long and bushy. I really looked like a homeless guy, and for them to receive me so well, always made me so happy. Then for Jim to be willing to say something to me after my botched witness made it all worth it, because he recognized the most important statement that he's going to use the word of Jesus in his prayers more to make sure that he's clear on, you know, talking to Jesus.

I just was thrilled and the other thing that was really been my challenge is trying to understand where I am and what I'm doing here, and why? With my botched witness and everything else I couldn’t understand anything. When I got home that Sunday, I sat down to eat and finally going through my email, the thing that popped up was a video of RFK stepping down from running as president! Uh, what's his name? 
Robert F. Kennedy and running for president as an independent getting his name on the ballot across the country. 
Email, opened after Welcome

That Sunday, he announced that he was going to endorse Trump instead, which really sounded off the deep-end crazy. But in his speech, half of it was talking about health and nutrition and how the industry, you know, the food companies were all created by the cigarette companies. When the cigarette companies first got sued, they took all their cigarette-science and all their addiction research over to make all the foods addictive. So half of his speech was my mom's sermon, which was just like a big confirmation that I said what I needed to say at the right time. Here the truth is coming out, in the national media already. And I was just so happy about that because after my presentation I felt like I missed the mark because I just wasn't awake. You know, I just didn't feel good about it.

But then to come home and the first thing I hear was it’s all good. 
So it's interesting because then, you know, I had some crazy dream again. I went and helped Bonnie again and she asked for my itemized invoice and she lost it. She's like, what do you mean? I'm paying for this? 
What do you mean? I'm paying for that? I'm like oh my god, give me a break just write your check and get this over with and she complained and complained and I was like, oh fine I'll take that off. 
I don't care, you know, she's just yelling, and screaming, and whining, and what was it 10 bucks taken off? Give me a break you owe me two grand, you know she still hasn't paid it yet and I got a message from Leslie who said it has all blown up and she's like we'll talk tomorrow about it. 

And so it's interesting because what came to me was, it is just satan trying to stress me out. Lol, like I said that I had some crazy dreams that Monday, Tuesday, and I had spent yesterday at the college again. I was sitting with a professor and I actually sat there with her and I graded the first assignment and she was so happy because she's falling behind. She's got her husband out of hospital, but she hasn't really looked at anything and she was so worried about the class that she had to do that night, so she was putting everything together for it. And I said, okay I'll just do the grades on this one. 
And she was thrilled and so we sat and had lunch together and talked it all through.

I did the same thing Wednesday again, and I still haven't gotten paid by them either. I don't know if I'm getting a salary for teaching the classes. It was funny because I said that to Kevin. Yea, Kevin and I went out for a beer because we haven't had breakfast in a couple weeks. 
Yes, both of us busy with the Welcome Retreat and then something else happened, and so let's just go out for a beer. And I think it was Tuesday night? Yeah Tuesday, and we went out for a beer. 
You know, we had Tuesday with the men's group in the morning. And then we went out for a beer and he was telling me that, I shouldn't do anything for Bonnie until she pays me. So that's sort of still up in the air. 
And then he says I should write the college dean. You want to find out if you're getting paid, you should at least write them and ask what's going on? You know, tell them what you're doing, tell them what you're working on, tell them what's going on and ask that they at least tell me when do I get paid something? 


I was like, that's a good idea. Because, I mean, I just started and my first day of work was supposed to be the 12th, so it's been two weeks. Usually they'd send a paycheck every two weeks. 
So I assume I should get something Friday or I don't know. So everybody I've talked to says that the adjuncts in the state don’t get paid anything, or as little as possible. 
I've been living on a shoestring anyway, and maybe the shoestring gets a little longer, maybe it's still just a shoestring.

But it's funny, because I know I told you about my bankruptcy attorney, who hasn't done anything yet. I got another mortgage bill in the mail. I sent that to him and he said that we could have lunch on Friday, so I guess I'll talk to him tomorrow and find out what he's doing or whether there is anything to do. And then there is another attorney that's dealing with the Airbnb mess and he called me and had me sign some contingency agreement, which had me stressed out for a week as well, because I didn't know what it was. But what was cool is that there's an attorney in the men's group that looked at it. Oh yeah, this is standard, he said. It all looks the same as we always use. 
And I was like, okay. And I don't know where that is and where that's going and I still don't have my phone working. 

Yea, I switched my iPhone to another company and I'm still having troubles. 
I mean, you can see I've got this zoom app working, as they installed the Wi-Fi, but they're supposed to transfer the phone and now it doesn't look like they can transfer the iPhone. So what the heck am I doing here? Okay am I going to do a small claims to get my two thousand dollars from working with Bonnie. 
Then do I need to do something else to get my iPhone fixed? Do I need to just do all this legal stuff that keeps coming into my face? I'm like wondering if that is what I need to do? And it was weird because when I first talked to this guy who asked me about the Airbnb claim and this attorney walks up to me and says, hey you know, I could help you with that. 


I know, I was like, really? And he's like, well, you've got damages. You've got a claim you can file against AirBNB and I was like, oh okay. 
And I listed out everything for him and I gave it all to him and and I was like, is there anything I can do to help? And he says, you know, you could help me if you could find other claims that were the same or, other issues that have been filed against Airbnb? I don't know, I just dealt with all this legal crap anyway. 
So I know how to get into the system and I know how to find things so I got into the clerk’s office and I searched for Airbnb and I found a couple things and then I guess every county has a clerk’s office, so I'll just found another one. And I found another one in Miami and I found one in California and some others. 

I thought it was some other state in the westcoast and found another one in a northeast, you know, just trying to find clerks offices that'll give you the case data for free, not all of them will do that. 
Some of them will sell it to you or, you have to pay to get in, or you have to pay for a subscription, or it's only for legal people or whatever. But some are like "you know it's public record, help yourself." And it was interesting because I found like four or five cases against AirBnB, where they had never verified the person involved, whether it was the landlord or the tenant. Whoever it was that did something wrong, had never been verified, had never been checked and weren't a real person or they weren't part of what everybody believes. What Airbnb sells is that they verify or check the people who engage. So using their program you know that you have a real person coming into your house because they are a member of Airbnb and Airbnb certifies who they are. 


And every single case I found had the same problem, where the person wasn’t a real person or it wasn't who they said they were, and AirBnB never checked it and what was interesting about it was that every case that I found got to discovery, got to wear the evidence was going to be presented to the court and then it was closed. And it was like the next page was the case dismissed, or case closed. And so they're paying it off before anybody sees the evidence. 
It's like, oh, they're doing the same thing every single time because they don't want anybody else to know about the scam that they're pulling. And it was so obvious how they were playing the game. 

And so when I put all this stuff together and I sent it to the attorney, he was happy as could be. So all we have to do is file, and when we get to discovery, we'll get paid. So, what he said last week is that he sent them a letter a month ago, and he's got to prepare the case and file it so that's the next show.  I'm like okay, I guess I could do the same thing with everything else, you know, my water system isn't working, my air conditioner isn't working. 
I've got so many things that are just so screwed up and the iPhone is still not working. I realized that I’ve been trying to get T-Mobile to fix their system. I finally bought the new 5G phone and the 5G didn't work either and talking to the the rep or talking to the technical guy, who told me they haven't had 4G working for years.

He's like “yeah, we shut it off years ago,” and I'm thinking so they shut it off two years ago, and you're accepting my monthly payment on a 4G phone? Hold it. 
You know, if you're going to shut off the service, you got to at least, tell your customers that you're not supporting this anymore, not take my check every month and tell me that it works. Then when it doesn't work, they play with the settings to “fix it” but never really fix it. So this is looking like more crazy stuff and I’m thinking, is that what I need to do with my time? Is that why I'm a back in school again? 
To get back into research again, and back into all this stuff again.

It's interesting because the professor that I'm working with actually took classes with my major professor at USF. When I taught his class last year, she said they already knew each other. 
They've worked together before. And so, I mean, I don't know if she's going to stay there for another month or be out. I mean, yesterday her husband called her like three or four times. 
And I don't know, but it seems he's got dementia because you could tell that she was like babysitting or something, and you could tell that she was really careful speaking with him and being very careful or very clear. Like this is where you're going to find your lunch and this is what I left for you and this is . . . I could tell she's definitely got her hands full, so I don't know if that means that she's going to be there for another month or another year or who knows? 

So now you know all the chaos I've been dealing with. It's been fun and it's interesting as this morning the Family Focus and the Charles Stanley Podcasts both pointed to the gifts of the spirit. 
And if you're in peace and if you're in joy then you're going the right way. And if you find yourself in worries and fear, you're not going the right way. . .  you know it's all Spirit. 

Yes, not the gifts of the spirit, but the Fruit of the Spirit. Oh Right, right. Yeah, yeah, they are two different things, yeah, yeah, so so it's amazing that my Spiretual Director Dick, knows what he's talking about. Well, that's what came out with the Chat GBT love story too. It was all the same things we've talked about from the very beginning. Which is wonderful. 
Well, the nice thing about it, once people get it, the comment always comes “it can't be that simple.” And yes, it can and yes, it is just that simple. 
It's not easy to be love based, but that's the essence. That's the simplest form. And then it's kind of a rebuilding project that now we have to rebuild life around the idea and reality of love. 
So it makes life simpler and actually brings the fruit of the spirit that much easier in simpler. 

Yeah, brings us to where we belong in our truth, into our own growth and everything that keeps impressing on people is that once you get the concept of our spirituality, you essentially begin to live a transcendent life; compared to the life of fear and chaos that the secular life offers. 
It's like you rise above and become as several authors will say, you become an observer and you simply know. If you're in the crowd, you rise above the crowd, and now you can see things, you know, because you are at a higher level, a higher vantage point. 

Yes, and that's part of our challenge. I mean, that's kind of why I’m was so happy to see someone else repeating my welcome message. 
I mean, it was literally the next day and it has been on the national news. I mean, I copied the YouTube link to the welcome team. I think I sent it to you as well or to the men's group. Oh you know, Kevin has read it a few times, and it was interesting because Kevin was in the Welcome Retreat. He was one of the people that came because he never had gone through Welcome himself. 
So that was something that he said too, that three or four guys that were on his table decided they needed to get back into the Catholic Church. And so he was he was really happy to see it affecting other people so strongly. It was his first experience with Welcome and he really enjoyed it a lot too.


He had read my witness a few times before and over beer the other night he commented at how he always perceived it as changing our culture, as opposed to just changing his own diet. Wanting to change is one thing to recognize, simply that half the food in the store is poison. It's another thing to help your neighbors or help your family and help everybody else recognize how much of the food in the store is really poison. And it's interesting to see it shift to where it's a political issue now or it's gotten to be a political issue now. 
That comment that Kevin makes about it being out of reach and now it doesn't look like it's out of reach anymore. It's something that's shifting in our culture.

I still am kind of perplexed by that because those big food companies are still buying out the small little companies, you know, like Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream used to be a hundred percent real. 
And they've been bought out by big companies and now it's got toxic waste in the ice cream. I also heard the same thing happened with Braggs, you ever hear about Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar? They changed a few things after the family finally sold out to some bit conglomerate. So now it is not the same, and it's not real anymore. 
And it's scary, even if you could outlaw the poison and the food. 
Do you really think they'd change their process enough to make a difference? 

Yeah. Right, you know it's all about profit... And so once that's your God, so to speak, then everything has to line-up accordingly to the bottom line. 
And so, yeah, the ethics, morals, and everything is available for compromise when that is your focus. That's why we have so many things that are out of whack. I remember seeing that in the government, every job that I had in the system, you would you see how everybody's got rules and guidelines, but there's always something somewhere where they twist it. 

I saw it in the county. 
I saw it in the city. I saw it in the university and it's like built into the system, where they write all the rules for everybody else, but that doesn't mean we follow them all. And it's just built into the system to allow that deception. This comes back to what Kevin said: can we really change anything? 
I mean, you'd have to really shut it all down and start over. Is it realistic to shut down all the companies and all the governments and all the everything and start over. I don't know. 
You know it's starts at a very low level, somebody develops a crusade to bring the truth and it boils down to how many people will embrace the truth and encourage people take care of yourself first. 

You know, that whole mentality, if you're on an airplane and there's a problem, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first, because you can't help anybody if you are in distress. And so, you know, it goes back to that where you can't give what you don't have. 
So it's like you have the knowledge now of the food, the poison, and all of the corruption and that sort of thing. And so then you begin to spread the word to people who will listen and slowly, but surely, that's how the organic food started to be really recognized and that our food supplies are crap. And further, we try to operate under the organic banner and then that got corrupted, and we can still make attempts, which is getting harder and harder. 
I mean, you gotta go visit the farmer and you gotta sit down and talk with him and find out what he's doing and it's just crazy. It really is, you know, and I mean, I was talking to someone just yesterday about the cows and how difficult it is to find real beef and and where there's still someone that takes care of it and doesn't add toxic crap, it's scary how much the big giant companies have taken over all the butchers, so all the butcher shops are owned by the big industry. So you may get your perfect beef all the way up, but when it's chopped up and packaged, it gets covered with poison and they spray it, they color it, and they add all kinds of crap. 


Oh great, those little mama and pop places aren't around anymore that know how to do it the right way. And it's crazy trying to reach more people and trying to set up a system to connect more people and that's really all we can do. That's where it has to start, people with good ideas have to develop the same leverage that big corporations use. And technology helps kind of level the playing field somewhat. 
That to me, is what scaling it is all about, how do you reach more people? 

How do you get your message out there to people that are interested in your message. You know, that's part of what our spirituality is all about, bringing the good news to others and there's a lot of good news to bring, particularly in light of all of the chaos and corruption that's going on in the world. 
So that sounds overbearing, so much to do, so much still out of reach, or I guess it's not so much out of reach anymore, but it's still cooperating with God, because if we try to do it on our own, then we get overwhelmed. 
But when we do it with God, it's like there's much more peace about the business of the right thing to do. 

Then you focus on this, that is what you can do. Yes, this is as far as I can go and if God wants me to do more, he'll give me new ideas. 
Um, you know, that's kind of why I'm thinking about scaling. God put it on my heart that way. You can do more. So you mentioned, email chimp. I think it has a blog with it and I know it has a calendar feature built into it too. You know, it's like the bigger you get the more it costs and with what I'm trying to do, your first 500, I think is free with mail chip, it's like that first 500 and then three more tiers. Well, okay, but everybody needs or wants more than 500 and so once you start into the paid tier, it's like you have to be really careful of what the limitations are, and then it's like a big game to them, and it feels like a great game of gotcha.

Well, that's kind of what's happened with all the industries altogether. I mean, technically speaking blackrock and vanguard own just about everything. And if you look at what that means, I personally think that all the houses for sale in this area are them buying up land, buying up property and they're buying up all the farms and they're buying up the business, and I mean they're printing their own money so they don't care. 
They'll buy up everything and the more control that they can put over things, the better. 

Honestly, that is part of the reason why I kept my reformatted laptop. I have countless videos and data to publish. And when it went back to the original adobe stuff, it was the last version of adobe that gave you everything on a disk. You know, back in the old days, where you didn't pay for subscription, you paid for the software and you had the software. 
That was the last version of their creative suite that they had, and then after that we saw all subscriptions. When that showed up on my laptop, I was like, yeay, but I still haven't touched it. I haven't done anything with it. 

The other thing that came to mind was there's a a couple websites that I found where software developers share tools, places where developers share with each other to build things. 
And that might be something for both of us to explore because they haven't been bought out by Blackrock yet. And so it's a private group and a private developer and someone you could talk to. Okay, this is what I need to do. Let's do it together kind of thing, because almost everybody out there who is developing software needs to have a test case, and needs to have a place to build. If you're bringing in clients then you have something that they don't have and that's an advantage. 
I could send you the one that I found that I loved and I never remember the name of the company.
 
There are several different ones that are very well run and it's public and open source. I still have a bunch of tools that I've picked up from there that they commercialize and kind of don't commercialize. If you're playing with a beta, then it's free, but once you get started buying into it, then it's at least not part of the conglomerate. It's not part of the machine yet, so that might be the best avenue for both of us to engage in technologies that aren't part of the machine. You know, just like just like Airbnb it's just a big machine that has all this tech support from India, and it's just a bank that they're paying, some third party out there that answers the phone every day and fills out a form. 
I mean, that's all they're doing. I think the same thing has happened with Apple. When I spent Thursday night with them on the phone, it was like pulling teeth to get it resolved. And the best they could do is, you gotta take it to the shop. 
So it's like, we can send you new one since it’s underwarranty, so we’ll send you a new one in three days.

So My iPad is still dead. It's an excuse for me to drive to Tampa and I need to drive to Tampa at least to give them a shot to see if they can fix it. I got two or three other things I got to do in Tampa anyway. And I haven't been there in months. I better get out there before things fall apart or whatever. 

When I first moved into Saint Pete, my daughter said that if you got on the bridge before 7:30, it's a 30 minute ride. If you hit the bridge after 7:30, it's an hour ride. You know, it doubles that quickly and it's like the professor said last night, she's used to a two-hour commute to get to school. 
And she's on the north side of Tampa, so she's coming from the far side of Tampa, then across the bridge or across the bay into Clearwater. It was 30 minutes for me to get up to Clearwater from St. Pete. 
But it's insane because they keep adding more roads and the roads get filled-up as fast as they build them. Yes, they fill up with cars as quickly as possible and then you get a rainstorm or something and everything slows down. So it gets crazy very quickly. Honestly, that's why I was so happy to get to Saint Pete because I could get everywhere on my bike and not have any car traffic in my life. 

But if I could teach now, I'm going to have to do what I have to do. 
There’s a teaching gig’s really close, but until I get in there full time, I got to work with this professor and meet her wherever she is and help her with what she's doing. It looks like they've found four classes for me to do, but it doesn't sound like all of them are starting yet. I mean, I think another one starts in October and another one starts in December. 
So it'll be a bit before I'm full time, but at least that's moving forward, and it's something that I enjoy doing. It's something I'm good at doing. So that just feels right.

It's interesting to still have so much free time and so much that I can do what I want to do, even if I don't have any income, it's still just what's happened, with Jesus taking care of me. 
I mean, it's interesting to see my bankruptcy attorney Friday because I don't know where or how much I'm going to be able to pay in the next month. You know if I'm going to be able to, or if I'm going to be able to squeeze out another month or not, I really don't have any idea. You know, I thought I'd have no problem last month, but then, you know, the check bounced and I don't know if that's going to get resolved today or tomorrow or that's going to be another legal thing that I got to deal with. 


Like, I need more of that? You know, that's crazy that Bonnie has all these million dollar houses and a two thousand dollar check bounces. Yeah, that's what was crazy as everybody's got their story, their chaos and it all comes together sooner or later. 
But as part of what I was saying is that for me to be put into that circumstance again okay, where am I being led? What am I being guided into? What am I learning this for? 
Do you know, and recognizing the bigger picture where my mom's sermon is literally broadcast the next day, you know, across the country, essentially. And it was more detail and more specific than I was, and that was very strong, very clear and once again it opens the door, where Jesus is guiding me and taking care of me through all this. 

This makes it very clear where I need to focus, where I need to delete. I mean, just like building a website. That was the first thing I said to you, a month ago that I had a server. I have a computer sitting up there that I haven't even turned on. And it's waiting for me, and I know it's connected to everything I need to do. It's got wordpress on it and it was interesting because when the guy put wordpress on it, he put it on there as a separate tool so I could keep my original and go back and forth if I want to. I remember when he first set it up, he said “I'm just going to copy one of your other blogs and put it all in the wordpress.” And I was like, oh okay, go for it. And he set-it all up and I just never have touched it. It's still sitting there. 

I don't know if I told you this, but I bought a Sun Server at a bankruptcy auction, 20 years ago. I walked into the office and they're trying to get rid of everything as quickly as possible, and he had a room full of computers and I saw the sun sitting there and he was like give me an offer on it. 
And I looked it up and this is a twenty thousand dollar machine. And he's like oh yeah, we'll never get that. And I said, okay, I'll offer you three grand for it. 
And at the end of the auction, the server was still sitting there. So I came in and I got it for a thousand dollars and set it up in my house. Well set it up in the garage, but this is right when the Internet started. So I had one of those geeks from the university that knew how to finagle. 
He was actually from Poland and knew how to configure and spoof the network so that they think it's just a laptop, but it's actually a server. And so you can you could get to it through the network and so it was wonderful because I mean, it was like five, ten years of running a server out of my house and then I got another server administrator who took it over and just maintained it for me. 

Then I transferred to another one, somebody gave me an old dell server and so I switched it over and the guy still took care of it for years. I had no idea what he did, but it was running clean and smooth. 
I never had any problems, and any time I went to it, I could find what I needed. Anytime I needed anything changed, he changed it for me in a minute then I had to shut it off. I don't know what happened where I had to get rid of it and he said, he'll move everything over here. 
And I was like, oh okay. So my server now is in Australia and he's still taking care of it. I don't know it's got to have a gigabyte on it. 

I might talk to him once a year if I'm lucky. Anytime it is shut down, he has put it back up within hours. I'm not even sure what he does professionally, but I think he likely runs two or three servers for other people as well. 
And it's just, something he likes to do. So it's interesting that, I have something so abundant, just like being in this house that just blows my mind how much I've been given and how much grace that I have, where I don't need to worry about the income, which doesn't make any sense, but I try to be realistic. 

There's a lot of that going on now because of the Labor Day weekend, so nobody's working Monday? Monday's a day off? 
Right? Okay that's good to know. 
I never have paid any attention to that for years.

I was barefoot for the whole retreat, feet on the ground. 
I put on my shoes and my suit and tie and everything when I presented. It was interesting because somebody commented about my bare feet before and he knew the science behind it, too. And he was like, oh, you're doing this, and I was like, oh good for you, 
You KNOW!? And so that was neat to share as it was right before my presentation that we had the reconciliation witness that Father Curtis did. Usually we have the ministers do this witnessing and then they did the confession afterwards. So Father Curtis doid reconciliation and they had three other monks in the church to do reconciliation for the 24 people there quickly. I sat down with Father Kevin again. 
So it was kind of neat to sit down, and talk to Father Kevin before I did my witness about Father Kevin. Which really fills me with Love and Joy now as I write this story again. 

Yeah, once again, I am in the right place, at the right time, and everything worked out great. So many people connected and resonated with this great experience. You know that the first hour or so people were ready to walk out, people wanted to leave, people get scared, like you know, what the heck am I here for this kind of thing? 
And after the second witness, or after Jim's, you could see that people who were benefiting from it and it really resonated with them through the whole event. So I wouldn't be surprised if he stayed on the team to do the next one, because he really did a lot making things work this time. He was really strong throughout the whole event.

I had to put the music all together and they didn't have that on the schedule, all they listed was just witness, witness, witness, witness and they didn't put any names on it. And I didn't realize I was the last one until that day before, when I was laying out the music. We decided last minute we should add more music. 
And I said, well, why don't we put a song for every witness? And so all the witnesses had to pick a song, and that was cool. 

Jim was the first one to give a song and he sent me a note asking for “A little help from my friends,” from the Beatles was his and it was so cool because when he said it to me at the the time on the message was 11:03 and I was like oh, he's right on point there. 
And it was funny because I copied it to everybody and I said, okay, look at this. This is what you guys got to do because it was just a beautiful song and they picked a song to play and that's what we did. Played the music while people were doing their exercises and we wanted to sing the song as well, but we just never had the time. And so everybody got to pick out a song and when I made that outline, that was the only time I figured out who's doing what? 
No, now I got all the names together because, you know, to get the music in the right place. and that's when I found out I was the last one and I was like, oh, I'm doing it at 10 o'clock.

Writing with a pen has always just felt right.  I know I have so much to write and share.  Yesterday, I finally had a conversation with Kevin. Of course, the week following my witnessing at Welcome started with Lynn asking me to meet with her capstone student also named kevin. My new student Kevin had planned to do his project with Dunedin and Forestry. The project fell through, so Lynn wanted me to be the stakeholder, where the project was about analyzing the sustainability program itself.

On that was a cool idea. Of course, Kevin is a natural resource guy and currently an intern at swfwmd where he is inspecting stormwater ponds. Yes, great connections and lots to talk about . . . 

105 SEEL Greater Service to God! 💕💖💗💕💕💖💕

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! I'm so grateful to have this experience. I'm always so surprised by my opp...