Morning men’s fraternity

 The men’s group this morning started a new series, called “Into the Breach.” This video is specifically talking about what it means to be a man, and what it means to be masculine. Wow, speaking about the “fatherless culture,” where so many never had a father figure, not just me. What was interesting about it was that the first video had us all talking about when we personally had the experience and the thought of becoming a man.

I hadn’t ever really thought about it, but what was interesting is that when it was my turn to speak, what came to mind was when my dad first punched me and I left home.  I was feeling his fist on my cheek, and not flinching, and recognizing that I didn’t have to hit him back! He hit me and I was still standing, and he couldn’t believe that and I recognize that I had beaten him at his own game and it was incredible. 

What came from that? I was the second man to speak in the men’s group, so I didn’t have any anything else to go on but my own personal experience. When everyone else had spoken and we had gone around the circle, one of the guys talked about how he had been involved with the men’s group and also with the teen group. He said how there was this great big gap between the men’s group and the teen group, and that step into manhood was missing! And for me what popped into my head was how I had done it with my son and the step that’s missing is called BoyScouts. No scouts today, so no stepping into manhood. 

And it remarkable for me to consider how the male transition came in scouts. And I remember leaving the home as a kids a dozen times, and always getting pulled back in. Except that last time when I got punched. And what comes to mind is teaching my son to swing an ax to chop wood and build a fire. Yes, that power in scouts made him strong. Oh yes, “steal sharpens steal,” so no brothers and no men supporting me but always competing and confronting me. As the next “Into the Breach” Episode started about the brotherhood of men that’s so powerful.

Then of course I also had the Men’s Group over for a Bonfire last night. Of course, the day started with the first SEEL class. And what was really amazing was getting to the SEEL class and seeing Bonnie walk into the class too. I told Harriet how my application started with saying how a wonderful lady at St Paul’s offered to help and recommended Saint Raphael’s where I stepped int the “nine Grade of Prayers” with Theresa of Avila. 

Of course, Harriet was totally fascinated by it since she had introduce me to Bill, who was also in the class. Bill hired me to my new job and Bonnie got me to this church in the first place. Clearly to all, God Hand was so very strong and focused in this experience before me. When we started the first class lessons, the one question for the introduction that was too powerful for me was about how “at this time in my journey” I am starting over, and I knew it will be wonderful beyond anything I could imagine.

And as it turned out that was exactly what I was doing today. I went out to lunch with my BOSS, and I told him how I went back to school and had not done engineering for ten years. Then lost my job, my wife and my home. And ended up homeless hanging at my dad’s snow-bird house, as he raced across the country in his RV. Yes, getting bored and suicidal, I finally called Bruce and asked for work. ANYTHING! And then started with his latest company as an engineering intern learning FDOT work with three other interns.

I really had started over, and what was remarkable was how I felt deep inside that I came to Tampa for Jesus and Emily. I Did my best following Jesus, to raise my daughter in his light and then was done, ready to leave. But now I’m starting over again and it’s something more for me. And this really means a deeper more personal experience with Jesus. Wow, how could that get any Stronger!

WOW, and HOW!

I opened my book and was focused all day on the ideas of God All around us. God IS LOVE, God is Nature, God is everything. Course, I’ve always known this, and so I had highlighted how “Ignatius encountered God in nature” and recognizing the gift and blessings of this ongoing creation, and having gratitude for God’s creations Of course, this was at 4am on the Prayerline as well, since I’m always reminding people about day six in Genesis, where all was done, and God, Adam and Eve were in the Garden and all things were good before the snake showed up.

Wowsy, wow, wow, as it’s all exactly like another book in the men’s group: Franz Jalics CONTEMPLATIVE RETREAT, where the first week was about awareness, and recognizing God in Nature and alive in the Oneness of all things. Which again is really about bringing me back to myself. Recognizing that the one experience is about the oneness I had being lost in the woods of New Jersey alone with God.

Then of course I could see this all around me, and then read a passage in my journals about it as well. 

10/6/2023 twice I’ve expanded and added stories above here. And twice Chrome has crashed. So twice the paragraphs have vanished completely!  The first, I rewrote ideas from my journal about “starting over” doing real regular exercises, like I never have before. And then second about when I DID Restart with the birth of my Granddaughter who came 4/4 with Michelle’s TheJoyFM.com donation of $444.44 and making my Mom’s Chicken and Rice to fill my daughters freezer! New Breath, New Life, and start over means a job, starting Fresh, as a new intern fresh out of college. . . . WOW!  

The concept that”responsibility” vs. the love

OK, so I recognize the need to be writing a lot more than I understand, and I need to step into this at a higher level. That means recognizing that I can just talk to my iPhone, and let my blog to create from there. So now I’m starting the Ignatian Adventure, this book has been really strong for me already. The first day I got it was the day I had a meeting with my Spiritual Director.

The Spiritual Director (Rick) started the meeting with me and I had just opened the package from Amazon.  He Said it was a crisp new book, where I hadn’t turned the cover yet, and it was really strong for me already. That first day I read it after our call and the thing that jumped out at me was on page 2, the Gospel truth became a part of me, “to whom much is given, much as expected.” 

This was all I could read. It followed from our discussions so strongly. The concept that I was challenged with, was how “expectation creates a responsibility,” versus the love affair. And Rick said to me, it’s doing for “love” not “responsibility,” and suddenly I understood him and I could feel the difference in my body so clear and powerful. What it really means in Love with Jesus. Responsibility in raising my kids was really a love affair with Jesus, as I could see how strongly this child was with me. And it was a lot more than love, more than responsibility, more than knowing it is all here now for me to love share and experience. Not for later, not for less, but clear and strong for this moment where we could share and be at a better space, a better love, a better power and focus.

Yes, it was a responsibility or was it the love. As he said this to me, I realized it was more about love, and what the love is to be shared with others . . . . and again I needed to step into that higher place in my heart, to know and share this Love so clear and obvious to me. Like this now, today I received another beautiful movie about my childhood trauma, that all know and speak about in the world, but none really understands or takes seriously.

The experience of God is about this love affair. The experience of God is about a love affair that I must write about in a new way, beyond my own imagination. The experience of God is about this love affair from all my life, writing and knowing that so much is shifting, shifting in such a powerful clear manner that it makes me feel so happy to be able to share it with others who have found this word now. And I prayed how I wanted us all to survive, not just the few, but He created all of us, and we all have a place, so why not find a way for us all to survive?

I need to get all my highlights from this book, into this blog. This seemed like such an arduous chore, but then I remembered how easy I could read it into my iPhone. And pop it opens in my blog! Here we go:

Page 2 starts it all, where the yellow highlight shows to whom much is given much as expected. God broke through my cluttered thinking and Clearly got my attention. Tell me who is God for you.

Then i go to Page 3, whenever I thought about teaching, I experience the deep-seated enthusiasm. Page 4 God has guided me in the past, how God labors in my life in the present, and calls me in the future. Page eight was next where I got this in the first of several mystical visions: enlightenment that allowed him to see the world with new eyes, and to find God in all things. And to make notes of his spiritual insights. Page 14 emphasizes experiential, and the practical and life of prayer. . Page 17 in discernment of spirits, we noticed the interior movements of our hearts. The key is being open to the spirit. Which brought me back to the questions from Rick, discerning Love beyond responsibility and knowing this feeling I have to do more spiritually, is really who I have always been. Jobs and working  just bring me the confidence and support I need to step into who I really am and what I really need to do.

Then on page 19, God works with each person uniquely. Page 20 room for adaptation, => creative adapting the exercises to be experienced not read that invites prayers to encounter the living God, Spiritual Director, who serves as a guide for the journey is central to the exercises offered in this format. BE Directed by God; page 23 first commit to spending 30 to 45 minutes per day. Find a prayer space! page 24. Look over these materials before you formally begin your prayer.  Either the evening or the morning before. Page 25. Imagine how God looks upon you with great joy and gratitude for your offering of time. Ask in Him in Gratitude: “God be with me in prayer, the body and spirit work together.” 

Find a posture conducive to prayer ask God to be with you in this time of prayer. Page 26 we pray for a certain grace or gift from God! Ask God our Lord for what I want and desire! Imagine God asking you what do you want me to do? Now for your Grace above all else is God‘s presence in your life. Page 27 you should formally bring your prayer to a close. 

Ah, yes the key here … Page 28 journaling:

• What were the significant interior moments? 
• What was the prevailing mood of my prayer?  
• Was my prayer more about the head or the heart? 
• What word, phrase, image or memory meant the most to me during prayer? 
• Is there some unfinished business?  
• Do I feel moved to do something concrete in my life? 

Am I making a necessary preparations for my prayer, considering journaling, as another way of praying, feel free to write directly to God the father. . . lol 😝 and 😂 yes I’ve done this since death at 16 and know it’s all exactly where it needs to be. Like the Calligraphy pen apple added to the app now. I never even wrote them about it. I would use the highlighter since it was cut in the same shape. lol, I was always annoyed it wouldn’t work right, and tried to make it work, still drawing in the prayers myself for the letters of love carried more style than anything else.. . . lol. . . I wonder if they added som calligraphic options to type her too: I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom dearest Saint Mary and Saint Joseph that I may be as your SON! 

And so then I get this movie invite, https://link.angel.com/SM6CON3jvDb, and it’s telling my same story again, old news for me, but so important to those who choose to deceive and lie. . . As the truth will always come out! The next spiritual exercise is the Battle in Autumn Exodus: When you do your nightly examine, ask God to reveal to you any ways in which you have been cutting corners on your Faith!

Now record encounter after encounter with God

My very next phrase to read in my Catholic Studies was: In writing down Israel's history in Scripture, the sacred authors record encounter after encounter between God and those he has chosen from Adam and Eve in the garden to Noah on the ark . . . 

Actually I even copied this phrase too, but then decide to post this picture and copy the next phrase to write about. So I’ve really honored my moments in Christ, since 1980 when I got into my motorcycle accident. Again now after I SLAMMED into a car on Labor Day 9/4/2023 before 8am I need to get more deeply into these studies.

Yes I’m essentially doing the same thing I did after my motorcycle accident. “OH GOD,” what have I done?  I’ve always been protected, walked through walls, and invisible to my adversaries . . . Never even stubbed my toe, most of the time. BUT THEN, SLAM! Clearly, I’m not listening or discerning, or most likely intentionally ignoring the obvious and clear direction that I get. Again a wake-up of pain, that carries with me for days for me to get more serious.

But to be SLAMMED 9/4 when I’m clear and intentional about stepping into my “new routine” and schedule of work, as it suddenly appears before me. Yes, I know I got a notice about being “short-listed” at USF the same day I accepted an offer. Then 9/5 at 5:16pm I get a St Pete note about an interview?  SO I was SLAMMED and stayed home another week before starting the new job on 9/11. Oh my GOD, starting a new job on 9/11/23, while left me 9/11/17 when the Hurricane hit me. YES, 30 years in Tampa, and never nothing, I mean I barely lost power in 30 years of Hurricanes, but then 9/11 and I’m out of power for a few days. . . All alone, no wife, no dog, no job, no power, nothing another wake-up call. I seem to get really strong messages and very many benefits.

So to start again a new gig on 9/11 sounds so ominous. Yes, I’m fearless and can always step into whatever God places before me. But getting SLAMMED the day before, the scheduled start date and then two other opportunities appear, seems like a very clear sign i need to get moving into another direction. And to still start anyway, brings an ominous warning of 9/11 in my face.  What can I learn, or is it really about being clear and conscious through out my work and steps forward.

I am back to my reading in Lectio Divina Prayer . . . Your WAYS are Holy oh Lord with Psalms 77 remembering all your Mighty Works. Mighty is your hand Dear God. And each day I see your works before me, sending insights and guidance. . . Carefully I step, and carefully I discern. Yes, I know this is my lesson here again. SLAMMED again, I hobble about in pain and recognize I must stay slow and at ease. Not pushing through the pain, but acknowledging your guidance and rebukes of my pride. Remember, yes remember the guidance and understanding we’ve been given these last four years.

Now again in my studies we jump to Psalms 105:1-6. And the Joy of the Lord comes through to me stronger than anything here. I remember when chuck called me about moving back to Tampa. We had graduated from College on the same day. He had returned to NJ, and redid the basement in his parent’s house as his own apartment. I had already married, had my Seminole Heights house and Emily playing with me that moment. He asked if he should come back to Tampa. I laughed sipping a Heineken as I watched the children playing in the grass before the Florida Orchestra. 

It must have been another Art Festival or just the Orchestra in the park day. Relaxing in the grass and seeing the sunshine glimmering off the Tampa University Minarets and chuck wanted to know if he would be better off in Tampa. I thought it was so obvious? But still he asked me to get out my journal and copy some pages that ended with my Prayers to Jesus. He had seen these pages before. Whenever I received such clear strong guidance from God, I would always end with a big graphic in love and thanks to God.

It’s funny now as I remember this, and realize that the inspiration came from the Psalms remembering the joy and wonderful works of God and sharing this joy and blessing so others can see, learn and understand. SO this is the Lectio that jumps out to me, “remembering the Joy in God!” And to meditate on this, or reflect on this meaning. . . . Hum what comes to mind is how Jesus was always asking me to write, record, and share all that I could. And I remember saying to him how I was here to act and change things, not just write about it. Like all the writing I did after my accident, getting the Dreamers and Doers Award for Disney, never seem to chang anything. Countless people read and even studied that essay. Like the retired dude from NASA who volunteered with us and said he’d seen and helped build some of that story. Wow, so I guess my written words had significant impacts. I remember him telling me the solar defense system I described would never work, and they tried several scenarios and never go it working.

Yes “ME WRITE?” why me, Jesus you need to get a regular Journalist. Course, that’s when conversations with god showed up. And then I got a free pass to their first conference in Asheville, NC; where I gave them the copies that chuck returned to me after he moved back to Tampa. Funny, chuck and neil never asked for anything more, and they both went off thinking they knew it all already. Yes, so be it. . . Not my problem any more. So now I guess the fun part starts. . . Ah yes, i get it, i go find a random old journal page and cut out the text and format that we created to share in the Holy GHOST.

What we have been doing is preparing you for the changes before all the race and Earth.

I have been listening and living with the Holy GHOSTS forever I guess? I know them as Angels, Ancestors, Guides and Brothers here before me, and sent to me by Jesus. All come only in the name and WORD of Jesus Christ, and all must use the Name of Jesus, before I listen, share, and write anything. Yes, one of the tricks of the devil is to pretend to be whatever voice you are accustomed to hearing. And he will sneak in any chance that he can.

Ah yes, u get it, so now respond to this phrase as well “What we have been doing is preparing you for the changes before all the race and Earth shift”

I have the Holy GHOSTS here again making demands of me. And it’s always an easy conversation, if I accept that YOUR WILL and desire, for my moment here with you, is always the priority. So again, I realize this is about sharing what you have opened for me now. And again it’s the very present moment we are stepping into the time of change. The love and power of God is powerful and approaches more and more each day.  We have all heard this before and recognize the story of the Jehovah’s Witness warning that the end times are near at hand. But we have all heard this for years and see catastrophe after catastrophe wanting it simply to be over, for God to reclaim his kingdom, and the city of Jerusalem to be restored with the temple.

Yes, What changes before all the races of Earth?

I know my dear Holy GHOSTS, guiding me this moment again. The temple and the city is but a symbol and a metaphor of what is to come and where we will build and survive. The shifting of the earth and all life is happening faster and faster as each place is growing to be in love and support more love. Those in greed and selfishness serving the snake and his desires will all fall away and then the righteous will arise to support and share in the blessings to come.

We have already been changing the races and Earth preparing to restore the gardens and flows of life that once covered the earth. Those in greed will be running out. Areas of plenty will become destitute and the greedy will starve and die.

Ok, I know I’ve heard this before and even written it before. Like the story of chuck and neil, I’m sure I've written these stories a dozen times before. And yes, i also realize this was about my lessons today where i needed to catch up on all the reading i need. And its something Holy changing as I speak.

We have always been very clear with you. This passion you have for transparency is why you have always been so strong and so alone. You scare people all the time, as no one wants to accept that your conversations can be so clear and so strong. You have noticed that those who have witnessed these challenges you walk through and the blessings that come your way so easily are more able to walk with you. Further, you have noticed that there are more and more people who show up in your space who are ready to read and understand. This is what we have been preparing you for. You have always led others, and you have always wanted to do so much more than this. The changes before you are about bringing the entire human race to share and listen more deeply to the Earth and Love of God that is all around them. 

I get it. Talking more about listening to you everywhere and understanding this will be easy to share and teach others. I’m not worried about it, and I’m sure the opportunities and responsibilities will become very clear and apparent before me. Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to us all for your Glory!

SEEL - being more intentional with relationship with Jesus.

SEEL - is about being more intentional with our relationship with Jesus. WHY? Why is this important to me, as I grew up in the woods avoiding others who seemed too exploitive and selfish. . . 

My WHY, was about seeking to help "Fulfill God's Promise." Because God Created so much beauty and blessing in the animals, plants, and Earth all around us to share in Joy and Peace.  I believe there must be an EASY WAY for mankind to Be and Share all this beauty, and I know I can help bring it out in everyone I meet . . . And there is enough for us all, contrary to the selfish greed programs trying to take it all now!

SEEL - Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life.

Review book introduction for the process used for all the exercises. Yes, Harriet’s instructions are to read through page 37, before the first group meeting on Wednesday Oct 4 from 9-10:30am. There is five steps for the 32 weekly themes that are reviewed in this Book:

1. Reading - read and deeply pray within each specific theme. Find a scripture to read supporting the weekly theme in the Lectio Divino Style. The book has specific readings and other recommended within the same theme.
2. Contemplation - contemplation is a long loving look into the reading - savoring the experiences to develop the ideas in a "sift and sort through data" method - - - distilling what stood-out, down to its fundamental essence that resonates the most.
3. Meditation - sit with this essence you found and resonate with it to explore more deeply.
4. Prayers - have a conversation with God about the experience of this essence - - what have you learned to enhance your relationship with God.
5. Journaling - write capturing these experiences as quickly as possible. It appears that I tend to write ideas and fragments quickly, and then I return to edit, and expand these with deeper clarity and understanding as I review and reread the ideas presented over and over again.
6. Examine (Starts Week 6) - prayer of reflection before sleeping for each day and what we learned and shared through the day.

Spending quality time with god with these methods is key.

Weekly share the hi-point and low-point at the groups for five minutes.

Biweekly sharing these themes - flag items to explore with Dick - troubles, greatest blessing, deeper explorations.

Exercise for next time: contemplate the best relationships I’ve experienced in my life: names, times, attributes of relationships that were so special and important - - what do healthy loving committed relationships include and transfer these attributes to God.

1. My mom, Ely Maria Rivera Emmanuelli protected, taught, and guided me as best as she could, even while accepting and allowing my dad’s traditions and leadership. Love, honor, dedication, understanding we’re key aspects.
2. Joyce Spielberger, my second mom who “adopted” me in high school honoring and respecting who I was and guiding me to share more of my skills and blessings. Love, Honor, RESPECT . . . She was great at listening and accepting me for who I was, intuitively leading me to Christ.
3. STARS friends Trace, Chuck, Jack and Keith who relied on my dedication and commitment to follow through, giving me guidance and respect, somehow knowing I was “on a mission!”
4. Emily Maria, my daughter taught and shared so much with me. I did my best to keep her in the love and spirit of God, listening and following her intuition often more than my own. Love, respect, assertiveness, spiritual intelligence were key aspects with her.
5. Professor John, my friend and major professor through my PhD. Though I called him the father I never had, he only admitted to being my big brother, guiding and leading me into more than i knew i was capable of. Love, deep attunement, respect and insight into my future.
6. Christopher Allen, my son who accepted my insight and guidance to grow into a strong clear man. Loved, honored, and respected me through some of his greatest challenges.
7. Now the best friendships I’ve had for most of my life have been surpassed in the last three years including Carol, Judy, Leslie, & Pastor John who love, support me in St Pete; Kevin & John at the men’s fraternity who have encouraged, understood and supported; Johnny, Gina and Larry who rent my rooms keeping me safe, and secure at home.

Why am I doing these exercises. What do you need to change and why.

Ted-Talk Simon Synic “know your why”: https://youtu.be/u4ZoJKF_VuA?si=Oc0clH418RcG5khK

lol . . .  why is Apple so innovative, because they recruit Beta People, and listen to them. Like now having the best feedback app possible, catching all the equipment details and allowing me to attach files, images, data. WHY because making easy expression and recording live experiences creates an ideal testimony to Jesus. . . I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ!

SEEL is about a deeper relationship with God, stepping more deeply into this responsibility is my biggest challenge. The relationship and love of Jesus has become very clear and focused bringing in consecration to Saint Mary and Saint Joseph . . . . Now stepping into greater responsibility and focus with the church community and family at Saint Raphael’s is critical!

Next meeting Monday: 7pm 9/25/2023 is 6pm for Dick in Ohio. Every other week.

Emphasis and trust, head-knowledge vs. heart-knowledge … to experience God, experiencing the love grace, accepted, trusted, reciprocal,

1JOHN GOD is love, the more I know about love the more I know god, love God with my whole heart, mind and soul, love your neighbor as yourself. . . . Love and relationships. Thomas Aquanous willing the good of other as other, relationship with god, self, others, 

The next assignment, read the Fruit of the spirit Galatians 5:22-23 … create three columns and list each fruit down left, add synonym and then add antonyms  . . . . Fruit manifests with synonyms while where we miss on them is the antonyms. The four great distractions - wealth, pleasure, power and honor = four false gods according toThomas Aquanous — are opposite to fruit of the spirit, , ,  Read 1-37 prayerfully, deep dive on the distinction.

each new experience and challenge

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What is next?

I was writing with my pens, and I realized that I had the new red one and the blue one with my book. Then I accepted that I needed to get more serious again. This means writing in this blog, since I’m talking to it now. I know I can do this anytime I want with my iphone, as well as talking these sentences very clearly is so important. My Bible studies are now with a new app, where I can click to see the words and hear the words at the same time. This new app works really well and each Bible lesson has verses in chapters for me to read. Using this app where I hear and see the words, I realized that I needed to do that with my journal too, yes writing here and reading here is fundamental.

I know this is about stepping up, into the power that we created here. Like I keep flashing into the same vision I saw after my accident. No cars, only moving sidewalks. It’s like a complete community, where people are just walking, and sharing, and talking all the time, instead of fighting over who’s faster, or better. Building gardens and sharing food and always loving each other. I always seem to see the same thing and it changes and evolves overtime. It’s like each new experience and challenge that I have adds to this One Flash that I see!

What about speaking for us too? Do you think you can handle it yet? Yes, you know you can. It’s a different level of vibration isn’t it? You’re doing really well with it too!

It is your Word! Inside of me now.

We have always been here. We are inside everyone. Some prefer a single voice, which is where the trouble starts. Anyone can pretend to be any voice, and if you do not ASK, specifically by Name, then you get whatever is next?

Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ for sharing Your Word!

What is next?

I was trying to do the Lectio Divina Prayer lessons with Tim Gray. I’m finishing a lesson for my meeting today, and I flip back to see the different questions. And I realize that what’s next really for me now, is getting up out of bed and moving forward with my exercises and going to church!

What is next?

Now, I was reading the next Word in Exodus 90! Those who are chaste are marked by the truth, with no lie in their mouth. The basic definition of truth is “the conformity of the mind to reality,” or grasping things correctly. Jesus is the Word by which everything is created. He contains the full truth of God and all of creation in himself. Christians never fear the truth because truth flows from God and leads to him . . . Today, we must follow Peter’s example and boldly cast out into the deep. As you begin your silent prayer, ask the Lord to show you how he wants you to serve the Church—where he wants you to cast your nets to win men and women over to the Gospel.

What is next?

Matthew 25:14-30 Just as in life today, different people receive different blessings and unearned gifts. In the parable, three servants are entrusted with three different sums of money: five talents, two talents, and one talent. Immediately, we may wonder why everyone does not receive the same amount. We might think that justice demands strict equality. But who are we to dictate what other people do with their wealth? Just as who are we to question God regarding the various blessings he bestows? St. Paul ponders: “For who has known the mind of the Lord or who has been his counselor? Or who has given him anything that he may be repaid?” (Romans 11:34-35). So, the first point is that God’s ways are inscrutable. Then, there is the foolish servant who does not invest anything and, therefore, receives the titles “wicked” and “lazy.” The master is angry because the talent was “entrusted” to the servant with a purpose. Not only did he not do his master’s will, but he also refused to cooperate with the master, showing himself unwilling to share in his purposes and goals. Ultimately, he refuses the gift of the master's life.

We could view our own lives as a talent, having received them “on loan.” We receive different blessings and unearned gifts to do God’s work. Everything we have belongs to God and has been entrusted to us. If we use all we are and all we have for God’s greater glory, we increase his blessings upon others. But, if we are wicked and lazy, and see our lives and our possessions as our own, then we are ironically in danger of losing everything.

I guess, this passage applies to me more than ever. I’ve publicly acknowledged the extreme gifts I’ve received in this home and city. I’ve recognized the blessings from my mother or step-mother and all the gifts and freedoms I’ve received beyond my understanding. I’ve also questioned and challenged myself to share and be generous with all these gifts, knowing full well that all of it was specifically allowing me to do and share more love and grace with others. I’ve even challenged myself to step into more creation, gardens, schools, lessons, and gifts to others, my neighbors and community. Then also questioned myself for not doing more with it, or not being really successful.

What is next? Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory, and then he will repay all according to his conduct.”

Then again, I’ve questioned and challenged myself to “take up my cross,” again feeling that the gardens and the churches were about abandoning myself and stepping into the place and responsibilities that God had placed before me.  And now three years later, none of this has moved very much at all. Now, over 4 years since covid, I’ve had five interviews and have a new job offer. Work that places me back into my profession and allows me to return to the work I've been very skilled at. 

I realize my work opportunity at hand, is back to where I’ve been for over 30 years. And the only thing that has changed, is my shift in my deepest-self from the Eric-Methodist-greed-driven-whiteman to the Rafé-Catholic-Native-generous-Taino-Mom. Now, I notice this major change since Covid was shifting from my Dad’s Control to my Mom’s Love. Back in the same profession makes me feel like I need to seriously consider what this change means to me intimately.

Then the same day I received notice of the professional job offer, I received notice of being listed for the Bishop Ethics Leadership Center at the Business School in St Pete. Yes, being the Assistant Director to the Dean of the College, running an ethics center, seems surprisingly appropriate for me. And almost “too good” to be true. So I went and visited, just to see what I could find out about the center. It had been moved from the education college to the business college, so I wanted to see all the college had now. I essentially walked through the whole building exploring and visiting all the offices and suites. I walked into the Dean’s suite and met a rude arrogant assistant who answered a few questions but then chastised me, saying that if I had applied to the position, then I should not be talking to anyone there outside of the standard review processes.

Of course, then I stopped at the library and spoke to some staff there who also might see another application from me in the days to come. Then I visited the Marine Science Center where the Dean remembered my name from the Patel College and came out to speak with me. I admitted I had several applications in to his college and would be delighted to help out with the state funded Flood Hub. He was more interested in speaking about the ASCHEE STARS report, as he had just sent an email to Suchi about paying the membership dues again for the new report. I told him how I had done the previous three gold reports and had seen his name on the current silver report. He wasn’t sure about the next report or what was happening to the Office of Sustainability or any efforts along these lines. Even going as far as saying the new Chancellor might know more.

So then I visited the Chancellor again, and got on her schedule finally. As it turned out, I was scheduled to see her one week before my new job. But then this was the week the hurricane came by us and all the schools were closed, rescheduling for the next week after my new job starts. And then I wiped-out on my bike Monday so my new job start was delayed another week as well. And then I got a notice from the City yesterday about being their Transportation Coordinator. Wow? Engineering again rebuilding cities, or Ethics Center, or Sustainability Center, or City Transportation Coordinator . . . Each easily paying me the same or similarly to my VP position and each opening up a slew of new opportunities for growth and expression simply beyond my dreams. . . 

Lord Jesus Christ, in Thy Name, I ask Thee to bind and silence all powers and forces that do not accept Thee as Lord and King, in the air, in the water, in the ground, the netherworld and nature and the spiritual world. I ask Thee to bind all demonic action and demonic communication. Lord seal this whole place, all of us here and all our intentions in the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ. Mary, we ask thee to surround us with thy mantel of protection and crush Satan’s power in our lives. Saint Michael the Archangel, we ask thee and all our Guardian Angels to defend us in battle against Satan and the powers of darkness.Amen (expert from Fr. Chad Ripperger, Deliverance Prayer For Use by the Laity)

"Indigenous indignation" a demand to reckon with eviction from ancestral lands-while others translate varied inflections of gender and language. "The ultimate form of decolonization is through how Native languages form a view of the world,"

Wow so much to learn still 9:07 9/11/2023. We see, however, that at the heart of the rebellion is the refusal to give God what he is due. First, he wants us to seek him out in love and gratitude. When we refuse, he teaches us through his justice, still seeking to bring us back. The rebellious, however, refuse both love and justice, preferring to blame God rather than acknowledge their guilt.

9/13/23 7:08:03 A new day and a new job. I slept like a baby last night. Then when I woke up, it was this strong clear dream. I was busy cleaning some pots for preparing some meal. I had done this before and needed to clean and arrange them. I remember seeing a collection of different sizes. And then I had a separate group as well.

Every day I’m more perplexed. It’s dumbfounding how I have these strange experiences. I stop and consider how things happen and it’s always so bizarre. Now again, my truck won’t start. The first day I was here it wouldn’t start and the owner called me on the phone. I was parked right outside his office window, so I wasn’t surprised when he called. I admitted that I needed to pray and thank God and thank my Truck for being so good for me and he laughed of course, but then it started right up now again, my truck won’t start. Please dear God, let me start my truck and get out of here. I need to go home and sleep .

"The Church an8the world have a great need of eucharistic worship. Jesus waits for us in this sacrament of love. Let us be generous with our time in going to meet Him in adoration and in contemplation that is full of faith …"—Pope St. John Paul II (Dominicae Cenae, 3)

taking responsibility for stepping forward

OK so my next lesson in the Lectio Divina starts, with the goal ORATIO is an honest, heartfelt conversation with God over the subject matter discovered in LECTIO, and reflected upon in the MEDITATIO . . . This is the time to pour out our thoughts in response to what God has said in his Word, as we noted that there is often an ebb and flow in prayer. This back-and-forth includes Oratio.

Wow, this is really powerful for me now.  I had this experience of going to an Art Show at USF and meeting a physics professor. I mean, all the years I came and went there, hungry and anxious to meet and understand some basic physics. Suddenly, there was this small boy walking his dad right up to me. 

I always wanted to ask a physics professor this question: 

And more remarkable than anything was the space was filled with these beautiful big old Oak Trees, all just begging me to visit them. Of course, I walked over to the awesome Oak with the big branches laying in the grass and climbed up onto it.

What could I possible say or share with this tree that could be anything significant of suitable to follow such an awesome experience. . .

Wow was I in for a surprise. I got home and everything lined up for me. I was preparing for a meeting and started to read through a list of articles I found on a new leader at USF. Then I noticed she arrived just after my birthday. HUM? I wondered what I had written about on the day she arrived. Wow, it was back in the same place again. Always about accepting who I am and taking responsibility for stepping into the changes we are all seeking and desiring.

experience with God

Monday August 28th 6:07pm and I’m writing these words into my iPad with a pen, but it didn’t work, past the date. So now I’m using a keyboard instead since i have no patience for technology, sorry Steve. I still love your auto spellers, but not the pens yet. There is always a desert to cross in the spiritual world. The dark night of the soul always must be passed first. These trials and desolations are written over and over in the experiences shared in the Bible. Remembering something written in an experience with God is a strong vibrational experience, which helps us to remember God’s Love. 

Recording events, anniversaries, birthday, events with pictures and memorials is an ongoing tradition to help us to remember the love of a moment shared. Contemplation in prayer with God is important to know and experience HIS love and recognizing this focus and power. Even though we are unworthy, we have God’s Love by Grace, even the prodigal’s son.

Like the Samaritan women at the well who Jesus sought out to meet and love. Seeking the face of God, where we seek to act and do good works to bring love to God. Love all those impacted and available.

Psalm 27:8 New International Version
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek.

These methods are effective to choose a key word, or a key image, and reflect on it. Select a word, like a grape and hold it dear. Meditate on this word and squeeze all the juice out of it. And as we read and study this key image and allow it to ferment inside of us through meditation on it. “Be still and Know God” gets us into contemplation to taste and see the goodness of the Lord by getting deeper into this image and word. To love the Lord. 

This is my reading and studying the Lectio , where I need to now commit to a resolution to DO something in Love for God. Hearing, listening, meditating, contemplating and now resolve to do something. Be sure to step into this. A real practical resolution to act and step into something new as we are inspired. A very practical sensible act that is simple and easily to express something specific. I will give to the poor, is not enough. . . I will give an apple or a dollar to each homeless person I see.. . Is a simple practical act that Loves god.

Verbum Domini 87, Prayer is about knowing and loving God! What do we do with our love, who do we love, who do we help. Who are we sharing with. What are our resolutions to step into more love and joy with others. Mark 12:30-31 ==> 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.”